I’ve become fixated on Christmas

I’ve become fixated on Christmas.  I want the magic.  I want the lights.  I want the warmth despite the cold.

This morning I woke up to our first snow. Thick and heavy. Your eyelashes get wet just looking at it.

I wake up bleary these days. As soon as the focus finds me, the gasped “oh” at the sight of my window is involuntary.

I pick up baby Bronson, and crawl us to the window behind my headboard. I fight the roller shade, he must see it all. I hold him to my face in that softest, brightest light and whisper, “That’s snow buddy.” His eyes tell me he’s just as awestruck as I am (well more-so, I’m sure, this is his very first snow.) “It’s just like rain, only it’s cold and fluffy.” Cheek to cheek we take it in, hushed reverence. “It’s so beautiful.”

There is nothing but us. Us and the perfect soft sight. Silence and wonder. No thoughts, just vision. Snow falls so fast and yet seam like it unfettered by gravity.

I am in glittery love. Slow moving. Sweet quiet and peace.

After soaking it in --- only good, good, and more good. I suddenly feel the juxtapose. Last year the snow was a heaviness proclaiming my seeming unending pain. When it finally melted I felt some small emotional breakthrough -- eventually time will pass. Eventually I will be free.

Having Bronson in my arms is such a strange sensation when these moments come. The moments where I am face to face with what came from my pain and suffering. It’s strange because I’ve divorced that pain from him. He is only good. Only lovely. And that pain is only pain. I try to press them together in these moments to find the answers -- but it’s all oil and water.

I do that, when I have my babies. I become two people. Every time. One who is happy and thrilled and more in love that I can ever comprehend. Each time. It’s incomprehensible that each time I can love someone more than I knew I could love anyone.
But I am also another person at the same time. One who is lost and broken and grieving. It’s incomprehensible that I could be so deeply broken in new unforeseen ways each time.

First birth: Broken by scalpel cutting in disappointment and a gaping chasm of failure. Second birth: Broken by disillusionment --- a VBAC didn’t take away what hurts. Grapling with, “Where do I got from here?" Third birth: Broken by what was an unending labor ---42 weeks of truly questioning if I was dying physically, and worse, mentally. The literal labor and delivery, albeit gentle, was still hard, still counts as pain, yet I would gladly have done that two (maybe three) times a week for 42 weeks if it meant I didn’t have to feel that pregnancy.

I’ve never been so helter-skelter. I have no point of reference anymore. Things I’ve always known, I don’t know anymore. Things I never knew are solid truth.
And so many attempts at advice come at me each time I speak, none of which paint any better than my water and oil slick.
And this morning, caught off guard,  I answer my door wearing paint pants, to two minty and apologetic, Jehovah’s Witnesses. They ask me, “Does it do any good to pray?”
 At my door, they are covered in snow, that's melting on their dress wool coats and ties. But I have left and for me it's June. My belly huge, my body long since past my breaking. I’m on my bed, alone in my house, crying with full voice --- praying the only word I have left, “Please.” “Please, please, please.” I’m screaming.
The cold crawling up my arms pulls me back; at my front door my eyes well up.  I’ve asked myself their question more than I like. I pause an awkward moment, I feel like an oozing mess. I wonder if my abruptness is a terrible testimony, I take on another weight. I tell them, I have a church. They give me their booklet. We part while I wonder even bigger things. Things I’m not made to hold. The world is entirely too big a place for me. How does it rush in with the wind when I open my door? Or scream at me through glass screens? I’m doing good to process only one-life’s hard things.




More physical than my emotional bruises that hurt all day while I move -- The food: The allergies. The inability to feel safe. The nausea, it’s ramifications. The inability to ignore, to cope, since food is always, always, and everywhere.

I have no idea what’s ok anymore. What to say. What not to say. What to do.

When I was pregnant I told myself I would just be done when I’m done. I’d feel better. I’d leave it all behind me.

Only. I didn’t feel better. I was nauseas, still so really-actually-nauseous for a week while I held my baby. And when that cleared. I still hated food. If you throw up a food when you have the flu, don’t you usually avoid that for a long while? Only that’s how all food feels to me. Still. Four (close to five) months later. Yet Breastfeeding demands I eat and eat because being hungry sours a stomach more. And a sour stomach scares now now, after 10 months of such a thing. So the baby weight won’t budge. (It was gone by now the last two times.) And I got cavities from the pregnancy. And I had them filled. So now my teeth hurt when I eat.
How on earth do I feed my kids? The allergies. The hang ups. All the advice, that never helps, flies in my face. And that grocery list that has to come up at least once a week -- yeah, it does, it can give me panic attacks, seriously who can understand such a strange thing.

I can’t just leave this experience behind me. I am IN this experience. And as if I wasn’t baffling enough to people when I was still sick past the half way point, and no one else was. I am certainly baffling now when I should be great, but instead I am a tremoring pile of hormones and residual bruising.

I get so tired of talking about it that I just want to be alone. Only I am so horrifyingly alone that I grieve the space I place all around me.

I have no idea if this should be written. I have no idea if this should be read. I only know it’s very real.

That snow is so powerfully stunning. And holding Bronson is better than anything I know. And I press him against my heart as often as I can. A warm compress and a bandage. And finally a sweet smell (the sweetest) after 42 weeks of every smell turning me into someone who wanted to stop existing because existing was more than I could do. But my stomach is still ify this morning. And my heart still feels blind.

I’ve become fixated on Christmas.  I want the magic.  I want the lights.  I want the warmth despite the cold.

Come Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set They people free
From our fears and sins release us
Let us find our Rest in Thee.

Placenta Encapsulation

I’ve had a couple people ask me about placenta encapsulation since I mentioned I had mine done. (I’ve also had a couple people imply I’m crazy -- but honestly it doesn’t hurt my feelings or make me think poorly of them -- I know it’s a strange thing to do.) So I figured I’d blog the little I know about it in case more people are curious but don’t want to ask.

I, personally, chose to do it this time for a few reasons.
One, because I’d heard of it a while ago and have had enough time to get over the gross factor and get really, really curious about it. (I almost did it after baby number two, but just couldn’t quite make the leap yet.)
Two, a good friend of mine did it first. She made me brave.
Three, I felt so horrendous during my pregnancy I was ready to do anything to regain health.
Four, it was really easy for me, as my midwife took it from me and brought it back to me as pills in two days. I felt like it would be silly to skip it at this point. (Part of what held me back after baby number two was the fact that I didn’t know an encapsulation source ahead of time. And I was not ready to attempt doing it myself.)

I didn’t know a whole lot about it when I did it. I just kinda did a blind faith move because it seemed like it made sense to me. ha. (I’m a total hippie, right? All these crazy things I never thought I’d do, all make perfect sense to me for no good reason.)

But here is a good site that will explain some of the benefits there are based on scientific research. I’d really recommend you take a peak at that -- it’s very informative. And that sight has a helpful Q&A page as well. And some testimonials.

For me I definitely saw it’s benefits in:

Increased milk production. I actually had to reduce how much I was taking due to how significantly it increased my milk production. There was a direct correlation between when I took the pills to how full my breasts became. So I know that it was working on that front.
(I have extras I haven’t taken, so if I ever have a dip in production, or my baby goes through a growth spurt where I feel I’m not keeping up, I know I can just pop a pill or two and see an increase.)

The other effects are a bit more subjective and hard to be certain, but I feel I can attribute them to the pills.

Postpartum blood loss. That was much different for me this time around than my other two times. This could be attributed to other factors as well. My first was a c-section. My second, I passed a lot of blood at birth. But during my third pregnancy I took iron supplements, which I had never done before. And my third delivery was my easiest and least physically traumatic. So that could all weigh into things.
But after my first two deliveries I bled (had “lochia” -- the medical word for ir) for eight weeks. That’s extra long, but I was deemed fine by my health care providers. (I have 42 week pregnancies, it seems my body just likes to drag things out. #blessed …haha.) My loss wasn’t heavy as in scary for my health, but it was a decent amount through most of those weeks.
After my third, while taking my encapsulated placenta pills, my lochia was much, much lighter than I was used to. And by five or six weeks it was verging on gone, although I wore light day pads for seven weeks because I would have occasional spotting.
So compared to my previous experiences that aspect was much improved and felt a lot less cumbersome.

The Emotional Aspect. Ok, I will not be a standard take on this point. This pregnancy (much different than my first two)  felt physically horrendous to me (42 weeks of unceasing nausea and more aches and pains than I’d ever felt.) So I was going into my birth and postpartum period with a very dark and depressed mindset. So it’s hard to compare this part to my other two experiences. But I do think my encapsulated placenta pills aided on this front.
After this birth I still had a dark and depressed mindset. But I knew I would. I don’t see how that would have instantly lifted, especially since it took about a week for my nausea to clear up and my aches and pains remained for a bit longer. It was hard not to question, during that remaining nausea, if I would return to health, and that was emotionally straining.
But that said, while taking my encapsulated placenta pills I did not have the stereotypical postpartum emotions that I had the first two times. I clearly remember after having my first two experiencing an overwhelming sensation of being alone and feeling skittish and paranoid. After those births I could rationally tell myself those emotions were hormonally derived, but I couldn’t shake them. I didn’t have those emotions this time while taking my placenta pills. I really don’t feel that I had "baby blues", as I had previously with my other two. The emotions I experienced after this birth did not feel hormonally derived, they just felt like the consequence of me emotionally processing a extremely trying pregnancy. Those emotions did feel stronger on the days where my hormones shifted as my milk came in, but I didn’t get the additional emotions of aloneness, or panic, or the emotional-trembling sort of sensations I had with my first two.
I will say I’m very glad to not have added that extra “baby blues” stress onto the level of emotions I was already dealing with. I do think the placenta was a true help to me and a very good idea.
But like I said, this experience is hard to share in any sort of scientific measurement, it’s just me feeling things about my experience.

Pain Reduction. Once again, I don’t feel standard on this one. I went into this situation in pain and my pregnancy pains stuck around a while postpartum. And then you add in delivery pain. But once again, I feel like I experienced my post delivery pains in a less dramatic way than I had with at least my second birth (which was a VBAC, I can’t really compare a c-section to this.) It’s not entirely fair to compare the the VBACs either as I had an epsiotomy with my first VBAC and I had natural small tears with my second VBAC. But I do feel the placenta aided with pain reduction on the pain I had this time.

Energy Level.  After this delivery my midwife really pressed me to stay in bed and recover. (This is advice to all moms, not just me.) And I obeyed this time because I wanted to rest after that pregnancy. So I’m not gonna tell you I was up and running around or anything. But I do know I felt different than after my second VBAC. I remember after that one feeling winded from walking across the room. But this time I had no sensations like that. I was definetly feeling worn out, but once again 42 weeks of being sick wears you out. I think the placenta helped me not get even more worn out postpartum.

Baby Bonding. This is one of those things that can be affected by tons and tons of things. And I don’t want to write you a novel here covering all those things for each pregnancy of mine. But I was worried I wouldn’t bond well with this baby after that pregnancy. And, like I said, lots of things play into this, but I bonded very, very intensely this time, very quickly. I certainly don’t think the placenta pills hurt, they may have helped this along, but  I can’t truly say on this point.


So….
I’m not your best source of information on this. Nor am I a normal testimony on the use.
I’d suggest you look around for more input on the matter.
But personally, I’m saying I’m glad I did this.
IF (really really big IF) I ever have another pregnancy I would definitely do the encapsulation again.

I actually really wish I had done this after my prior pregnancies. Especially after my c-section, as it took me 10 days to get any milk in afterwards. I think this might have really helped me in that case. Actually it kind of makes me sad that there was something so simple, natural, and so easily accessible to me, and I miss out on it because I didn’t know about it.
And after my second, I think it would have been great to get all the iron back in me after the extra blood loss. I think it would have helped with the afterpains I had that time (those ones were far worse than I had be prepared for.)  And perhaps it would have helped me to bond faster with my baby that time.


I don’t have any concrete place to point you to on this, but I have heard of women saving some of their pills (in the freezer) for menopause. It is supposed to help regulate hormones then, to help with hot flashes, night sweats and emotional swings. (I still have quite a few I haven’t taken, so I may just save them for this!)
In the same way, you can use the pills any time you need to help regulate your hormones and get a boost. Perhaps for PMS. Or just rough days.



So maybe you are now wondering: How can you have yours encapsulated?

Well, it’s going to vary, how you get this worked out.

While you are pregnant look around for people who encapsulate. I’d start with googling. If you can’t find any that way, get in touch with someone “birthy” in your area. Either a doula, or midwife, or a “hippie” like me :) . They will probably know someone. I belong to a Facebook group dedicated to birth in my area. That group of ladies always can point to great birthy-type resources. You might find you have such an online group near to you.

If you can’t find someone who can encapsulate it for you. You could take the great leap and do it yourself. (I know it’s a LEAP. I wasn’t ready for it. But it’s possible.) If you want to do this, google is able to point your way.

No matter who encapsulates it, if you want to do this, you need to inform people ahead of time. 
     You should get in touch with the person who encapsulates ahead of time, and get all the details from them. (How much it costs. Do they pick up the placenta or will you need to drop it off? Any special things you should know.)

     You should tell your birth support person (husband/partner, doula, etc) so they can help ensure it happens.
     You should tell your provider ahead of time. If they don’t know, there is a chance they will treat the placenta in a way that will make it unfit for consumption. (This is why your support person should know, so that they can help remind your provider. They can be in charge of ensuring you pack it up and get it to where it needs to go)
     It’s particularly important if you have a c-section to make sure your provider knows this ahead of time as you won’t know when the placenta is delivered to say anything about it in the moment. It wouldn’t hurt to have your support person on the look out to remind them.
     You should tell your nurses as well, they can also help remind your provider of your wishes. And perhaps help you handle it.

If you are having a birth center, or hospital birth you should bring a cooler with you so you can keep your placenta on ice. If you are having a home birth, put in your refrigerator.



So there you have it. My not too knowledgable, but sort of knowledgable post on Placenta Encapsulation. Do with it what you will. (You won’t hurt my feelings if you never want to do it. :) )

One Month In! (With Three Kids)

Well Bronson is one month old today.
I can’t decide if that feels impossible (wasn’t he born a week ago?), or totally completely exactly right, or maybe even he’s older than a month (hasn’t he always been a part of our family?). Baby-time is confusing like that.

We are still all getting along super well. The girls adjusted so seamlessly. (I really do attribute that to how sick I’d been and how used to me being vaguely unavailable they had gotten.)
(By the way. My instagram feed has been ALL Bronson this month. It’s not that I’ve forgotten about my other two -- it’s just that they seriously strip down to their skivvies nonstop, I can’t keep them in clothes for the life of me (“I’m too hot” they claim -- not so sure it’s true…) so anyway, I’m not posting pics of them online till I get some with clothes on! lol.)

I’m having that postpartum “What do I do with the blog now?” thing. I felt that way after blogging my pregnancy with Ruby -- once she was born I felt really lost for, well a lot of things, but definitely what the point of my blog was. Having a baby just really changes a lot, and makes me question stuff.

So that’s kinda why I’ve not written for a bit.
That and, it’s hard to find the time to get both hands free.

But also, I haven’t felt like writing much on here because I'm just feeling really content in my head.
My head space was so terrible while pregnant and so sick, so blogging was a chance to kinda put some of that in order. Now that my head feels like me (which happened at maybe 3.5 weeks postpartum) I’m enjoying processing stuff just for me, without an audience.

I feel like I’m at the gate of some really nice clarity and I don’t really wanna miss the window of opportunity to work with it. I feel like putting some of my thoughts on the internet would jumble it up.

That sounds crazy and vague. But here’s an example of what I’m getting at.
You know social media -- always full of “ways to do things.” And my Facebook feed seems to always be shouting at me “raise your kid like this.” (Sometimes Pinterest too, but I’ve tried to tame that beast down to just pretty house stuff because that makes me peaceful.) For the first couple weeks of being a mom of three (regardless of social media, likely just straight up from hormones and major life shift) I felt like I was just bound to fail all things mothering. But once my hormones settled down a bit, my stomach started accepting food, and life generally felt a bit more “ok” I had this light bulb go off. It was something of a wordless sensation that equated to this:

“I get to raise my kids with what I think is important.”
The rest of what’s important to other people doesn’t need to affect that.
I’m a responsible adult and I’m not picking and choosing to be lazy. I’m just being a sane person who knows there are limits to what you can do in life, and I’m not gonna feel guilty about it.

So I’m working internally on a list of what I value. And that list something I don’t wanna blog about. It’s personal and doesn’t need to be validated. It’s personal and doesn’t need to put pressure on anyone else. And it’s a working list that will ever be shifting. But I’m nearly giddy at the realization that it’s a list I get to make. I feel so much lighter putting down all the other lists out there and just claiming my own.

I’m feeling rather like cocooning in again. Not in the way pregnancy does that to me. But mostly from outside voices. Not like friendships. But from just pressure from all around. I don’t feel like giving it my time. Facebook might need to be limited again. Certain blogs avoided for a while.
I just feel like finding my rhythm based on what comes naturally to me.

One thing that I’m very clearly noticing that comes naturally to me (at least in recent years), or matters a lot to me, is a more minimalistic environment.
The influx of baby things, mixed with birthday gifts for the girls (everyone’s birthday is right next to the other), really pressed on that idea for me.
Having more stuff than we need ups my stress level drastically.
Our house has been in flux since we moved here and started renovating it. So I’ve not been able to get rid of much decor stuff because I wasn’t sure if I would need a couch for this space or that space, or a picture or a mirror or a candle stick… but we are finally getting to a place in the house progress where I’m able to make that call now. So I’ve started to craigslist purge. Nowhere near as fast as I’d like. But I’m getting there.

I picked up the book “Clutter Free with Kids” from the library to see if it would help me figure out the toys in our life. I gotta say, I’m loving the book. The author is basically speaking my love language and totally solidifying that I firmly believe in the “less is more” idea. But as far as taming our toys, I’m not sure the book is gonna do much for me. Our toy situation is not created by us, it’s outside forces. Which the book doesn’t address at all. (It kinda assumes the reading-the-book-parents have bought the stuff.)  But I guess what the book is doing for me is really sealing in how much this concept matters to me (and solidifies the “whys” -- because it’s about way more than a clean house, or my stress level, I believe in the benefits it has for my kids too. There are actually a lot of them.) So in that way, it’s helping me take more ownership of our home (including the toys.) Giving me more of a sense of authority on it.

In other news I’ve accomplished some projects around the house this past week.

One day while my mom was here, hanging out with the kids, I closed up a hole in our Family Room. Right at the top of the brick wall has always been a gap between the brick and the ceiling.

 I figured it wasn’t a big deal. That was until we witnessed a mouse crawl out from there. (SO GROSS!) So to fix the problem,

 I first shoved a ton of steel wool into the crack (so they can’t chew through it) and then used some caulk backer (which is basically just foam to fill in a crack so the caulk has something to rest on), then caulked away. I think it took two or three applications to fill in the gap. 

It took me about a week to get used to how it looked. 

But zero time to appreciate it not being a mouse entry door.

But in more fun makeover news:

One of my makeovers was a quick little clock makeover. I’ve jokingly named it (in my internal conversations) my Magnolia clock, because I recently binge watched a bunch of HGTV’s “Fixer Upper” and got majorly inspired by that lady. (I think the cleanness of her designs kinda helped me remember my minimalism ideals.) And it got my gears turning on finishing some of our spaces.
One thing I needed was a clock for our kitchen. After some online shopping for one and feeling really uninspired, I remembered I had a cheap $5 clock laying around from our last house.

I figured if nothing else it could be a good stand in for now. So I got out some craft paint and dry brushed it on there to give it a fresher look.

That was just the thing I needed at the moment -- a quick and easy, creatively satisfying project to feel like myself for a minute in the middle of a nap. I used a coat of light grey, followed by white on the more raise parts, followed by some light blue on some of the raised parts, followed by dark silver just messily thrown on all around.

The next thing I needed to accomplish was stools for our kitchen countertop we made. We had four stools that weren’t working. One was 30” tall and three were 24” and none had a back. We really wanted some stools with backs for the safety aspect. And since our countertop height was determined by the pass through already in our wall, it’s not a standard height, so both sizes of stools aren’t right.
After a ton of online shopping, and stress on my part (hormones mixed with my own general design obsessions didn’t mix too well this time) I finally found three awesome stools on craigslist. (Three is exactly how many we need. Three kids now. And that’s all the room there is at this counter.)

They were an hour and twenty mins from us. But even with gas money, paint and fabric they were cheaper than new and I liked these more than my new options. (The ones we were close to going with were gonna be $80 per stool.)

Blake likes drives. So last Saturday morning he went and picked them up while the rest the family stayed home.

They are wood, and it’s funny how that worked out because when I was looking at new stools I had been leaning towards metal ones. BUT having bought these wood ones was an entirely better outcome because we were able to customize the height ourselves.
These started out just over 30” and after some contemplating we cut them down to about 26” (I think.) Blake was able to take them out in the garage, do some magic with some sort of brace and get the legs cut to size all evenly. Amazing.

Blake sanded them. Then I was able to get two of them painted. (Third to come as time allows.)

And I recovered the seats with some indoor-outdoor fabric I got on 50% off sale at JoAnn Fabrics. 

The indoor-outdoor fabric is great for kids. It’s water repellant which also makes it pretty stain resistant. We already poured a cup of water on it last night and it didn’t soak in a bit.)

(I didn’t clean off the counter or the floors in these photos to prove I cannot do it all. I don’t clean much at the moment.)

And my next project is a bookshelf makeover. I was looking at “TheHandmadeHome"’s homeschool room again (soo pretty --- so up my alley) and I got to thinking I need a bookshelf -- to inspire me to actually get on the school wagon with a newborn around.
So some craigslist shopping got me this guy, for only $20. 

(And I had just made $20 after selling our baby bouncy seat that none of my kids liked.) So it was kinda free. (Love craigslist for that reason -- so many times I’ve been able to upgrade our space for nothing after selling what isn’t working for us any more.)

I plan it paint it white. And maybe add a color on the back for fun. I'm leaning towards an inky navy.
(I hope to that done this weekend.)
Our local schools start in two weeks, so I’m kinda aiming to get our stuff up and running by then too.


In "baby stuff that’s working for us" news:

• The Rock and Play is still working magical wonders for us. 

• I just discovered Mustela. Bronson came down with some epic baby acne.
  
  
  (He got worse than this -- I kinda didn’t take pictures when he was really really bad.) Like I was sort of embarrassed to show him off, it was so bad, levels of acne. (Sorry baby, it’s not personal, it just hurt my heart to see your cuteness hiding under painful looking skin.) At the grocery store, when people asked to see him and I would turn him towards them, they were doing the thing where instead of saying he is cute, they would pause for a beat and say “aww how sweet” or “so little” (which is now turning into “so big!” as he packs on the pounds fast.) My theory on this terrible acne is just that Bronson and I have some pretty incompatible hormones. (He mades me super sick from inside for 10 months. I give him crazy terrible baby acne with my breast milk.) Anyway. I gave some Mustela lotion 

  

  Found this at Target. It’s not sold at many stores.

  a try because I saw it mentioned a bunch in a baby forum for baby acne and it’s highly recommend for eczema. Currently Jasmine’s skin is kinda freaking out. So I thought it would be worth a shot for both kids. So far I’m extremely impressed with the stuff. After one application to each, their skin seemed immediately soothed in a way I’ve never seen from any other product. After a day Bronson’s acne went down significantly. And his skin just looked so much calmer and more comfortable. They say baby acne isn’t painful for the baby, but his skin just looked uncomfortable all red and flakey and inflamed. Now it looks at peace and glowy. It’s not blemish free. But wow does my mommy heart feel better when he’s not looking inflamed and instead at peace.
  
  And Jasmine’s skin is definitely on the upswing as we keep applying it daily. I ordered a Mustela bath oil for her, and the cradle cap cure for him to attempt to help further. I have high hopes for them. I might wind up getting their shampoo too. But I’m pacing myself to make sure their stuff keeps working for us. It’s kinda pricey. But if it helps I’m for it. It’s better than wasting money looking for stuff that helps (but doesn’t.)

• Right before Bronson was born I sewed up four muslin swaddle blankets. (Got the fabric for 50% off at JoAnn Fabrics. So it was cheaper than buying premade blankets. And then they were plain white, which I liked more than baby prints.) It’s really easy to do. You buy cotton gauze fabric, cut it to size (something around 45”x45” give or take a few inches depending on the bolt size), and hem.  I LOVE these blankets. For a summer baby they are perfection. Just enough coverage to keep A/C chill off them, without over heating them. They are great swaddlers, with their larger size (but Bronson rejects the “babies love being swaddled” theory, so we don’t really use them that way.)  They make nice carseat covers if the sun is too bright. And they really do work wonderfully for a nursing cover. I just drape it over my shoulder on the nursing side and leave it down just enough to cover me up, without covering him up. Their texture gives them just enough grip to stay put on my shoulder. And they are light enough that they don’t get us extra sweaty. (Nursing hormones really up my internal temps. And it doesn’t help to be holding a cute tiny heater of a baby.) I’ve never been good at using those hooter hider kinda covers -- it just kinda gets in my way. This works well. If people are really watching closely they might catch a quick glimpse as we latch or unlatch, but usually I can get the blanket down over that really quickly (third kid skills.) Anyway, I’m super happy with these blankets. One of my favorite things. I’m not gonna wanna put them away when he grows -- I’m already questioning if I can use them as throw on my couch?? lol

Our borrowed Rock and Play, Swaddle Blanket and sock hands.

And that’s pretty much all I’m loving for baby right now. Oh…that and putting socks on his hands. Since he hates being swaddled, and loves keeping his hands by his face (but has no control over them yet) socks on hands equals less destroying of the face. Plus it’s somehow really cute.

Postpartum body image for me this time….

Not bad.

I think because I lived through this pregnancy I’m happy with my body. lol.

I can’t tell if I am just feeling the reprieve from that so strongly I’m delusional, or if I actually am recovering my belly size faster this time than last times. (Probably delusional -- but hey that’s not always a bad thing. lol.) Either way, I’m enjoying not worrying about it.

So far I’m not trying anything to get back in shape.

I’m just enjoying where I am.

I’m realizing I will recover and I will work out again, so I’m not so stressed over it as I was.

Getting dressed is kinda annoying though.

Strangely I feel totally please with my shape looking in the mirror undressed. It just makes sense to me. Yeah I’m rounder and untoned. But why wouldn’t I be? (Third time around, I think I’m getting it.) It feels naturally pretty to me --- like in a “how the world works” “God made cool stuff” kinda way.

But once I go to get dressed it’s trickier.

Part of me think’s its better to wear fitted stuff  -- like the ruched belly pregnancy stuff. Sure my belly is rounded out, but I don’t really mind it at all.

When I wear loose stuff to try and hide it, I feel like it adds 20 pounds that might be un-pregnancy-related.  It doesn’t help that my boobs are super huge -- adding to a overall hugeness look in loose clothes.

Either way, I’m not really caring much at all. I just observe visual stuff by default and think about it because I like to ponder it.

Most the time I’m wearing whatever feels good, regardles of what it looks like. And it’s nearly always sweaty and covered in milk, spit up, and occasionally poop (but I draw the line and change soon after that. lol)

Well I think I’ll leave it at that today.

Time to feed my ever calorie burning self. (Always hungry.)

(Starting to feel much more normal about food too -- so it’s working out. Slowly but surely. Phew.)

Party of Five

Well we are two weeks into being a family of five.

I couldn’t write at first because I was either too enthralled by our new little one, or my hands were too full to type, or I was going through that scary, dark, postpartum-emotional-tunnel.

Fingers crossed I think I’ve come out of the hard baby blues now.
They were scarier this time than the other times because of how hard this pregnancy was. And the fact that I’m still physically recovering -- which scares my emotions… “Will I ever be normal me again?”

I did another accidental hippie thing -- I had my placenta encapsulated. I thought about it before but actually went for it this time because my midwife does it (aka it was easy for me) and because I was such a mess this time -- I figured I could use all the help I could get to recover. I do think it helps with the baby blues. But I also think it is helping me make TONS of milk (which sounds good, but I’m kinda over filled, so I’ve been trying not to take too much of it for that reason.)


The first week was physically challenging. I’ve really atrophied these past 10 months,  just laying around super sick. I have basically no muscle tone (in the literal usage sense of the muscles-- not like: I look flabby -- which I do, but that’s not what I mean.)  My hips still were aching ever bit as bad as they had been while pregnant (which was really bad -- much worse than I’d ever felt in any life scenario prior.) My back was really sore from both pregnancy and how I pushed. My boobs got enormous again this time (they didn’t after my second baby.) So they hurt and were hard to deal with -- I had no bras that were really working (I’ve been a slightly different size each pregnancy -- so I was just making due with stuff that was either too tight and hurt, or too lose, and therefore, hurt because it wasn’t holding up these six pound bowling balls.) Add in a sore crotch and...week one: the night time nursing sessions were emotionally daunting. It was so physically challenging moving to get ready to nurse --- it was enough to send my emotions into despair.

Not to mention I was still nauseous for about 3 days after giving birth. I was imagining it would be a light switch, night and day difference, the minute the baby came out. So when it wasn't it was hard to not worry I was stuck in a ruined place.
That nausea has gone away now. (Thank goodness!)
But I still am not friends with food.
You know when you puke a certain food and you just really don’t wanna eat it again for ages…it’s like that, but every food.
Food just generally doesn’t sound good.
The main thing  that’s been appealing these last two weeks is banana bread. I’ve made three loaves of that so far. And I’ve eaten cans of soup. Or fried chicken, that worked.
But the healthy-not-fried-chicken I ate last night, that gave me a good old fashioned stomach ache like pregnancy.
My brain desperately wants to move onto healthy normal food life, but my body is still like, “If it’s not junk, I’m not digesting it.”
I’m just gonna have to give it time I think.

I normally don’t have stomach aches anymore. My hips are better. My back is usually better. My crotch is getting a lot better. So I need to be happy about that. And then be patient for the rest.

Even still eating weirdly, I’ve lost 16 pounds now. So that’s an emotional boost. (As long as I don’t start counting how many pounds I have left.)

I gained 41 pounds this time. Which considering how crazy bad I ate (literally a milk shake every single night because it helped me not feel sick for 20 mins), and how little I moved (lived on the couch, could not do exercise because it made me sicker every time), I’m gonna say 41 pounds isn’t too shabby. (It’s the same amount I gained with my first pregnancy. I just started out a different weight this time than that time.) I keep trying to tell myself it’s not a big deal, and I’ll be able to lose it. And try not to freak out that I can only eat fried foods still, and that I can’t really go on walks or do anything yet because it’s only two weeks since I gave birth and got stitches.
I think it’s harder this time to keep things in perspective because I’m so ready to do things again. The other two times I was still doing stuff the whole pregnancy, so the waiting and recovering thing wasn’t so big a deal, since it was a break from doing. I’ve not be doing for like a year already -- I want to do.

I did buy the MuTu System I mentioned a while ago. (Its a fitness program that helps you recover from pregnancy, especially core and pelvic floor issues.) They had an awesome sale right before Bronson was born and I snatched it up. I’ve yet to start it while I heal up. I think I could start the basics soon, but I wanted to let my stitches do their thing still.
But so far I really like the creator. She’s from England, and listening to her is like having a kind postpartum-encouraging Julie Andrews a la "The Sound of Music” consoling and guiding you. How can that be bad?
I braved testing for a diastasis recti a few days after giving birth (I was kinda terrified to see how bad it could be) but actually I barely have one. Just maybe a finger’s width, up higher than my belly button, down lower it closes. So that’s awesome. But then part of me like like “Wait do I really even need this program then?” But the fact that I’ve atrophied for 10 months says yes (It’s hard to just sit up in bed.) And the fact that sneezing makes me feel like I’m gonna explode my pelvic floor right out of me, says yes. I’d definitely like to give my body the chance to really be whole after being so not-whole for so long.
So I’ll probably post about that program a bit as I go, we’ll see.
(I can’t really start it until 6 weeks out. So don’t get too anxious yet.)

Baby Bronson has been a really great baby so far.

It’s like he searches your depths when he looks at you.
(although he kinda just looks crabby here)

He’s calm in-utero demeanor does seem to be staying true outside the womb. He’s very mellow. If you solve his problem (feed him, or change his diaper…) he’s totally content. He likes to sleep for really long chunks of time (newborn-ly-speaking) and then when he’s awake he likes to nurse most of that time. I was slightly worried he wouldn’t be gaining enough since he’s so good at sleeping, but we just weighed him in and he’s gaining like a champ. So all that nursing between sleeping is working great.
I’ve only had 2 different nights where I haven’t gotten good sleep. And I think both those times I think was because he’d had too busy of a day earlier and had gotten over stimulated. The other nights he’s needed to nurse, but goes right back to sleep. So I can’t complain about him at all.

The girls have taken to him great. They’ve really adjusted pretty seamlessly. (I mean, they have gotten very used to me being only vaguely available to them, so it’s not a huge surprise they are taking this in stride. Plus now there is an adorable baby around. Can’t really go wrong there.)

  

I’ve been blessed to have lots of help from either my mom or Blake in transitioning to three kids. So I didn’t have to face that on my own at all until yesterday, and only for part of the day. I was rather intimidated. But it went really well.
They hardest part for me is getting used to less quietness, more visual loudness (messiness), and getting back into that zero introvert time stage. (I had just started to enjoy some alone time for my introvert brain this past year. So it’s kinda hard to say goodbye to that. But at least this time I have kinda a sense for how long it will be till its back -- I know someday I will have it again.)

But Baby Bronson is a cutie pie.

 

 I’m love smelling his head. Sweet baby smell is so good. I wish I could put that in their baby books somehow.

 

One thing we’ve added to our parenting arsenal on Sunday was a "Rock and Play.”

 I’d seen a lot of mommy bloggers using them and I got to wondering if it could be any good. We have a bouncy inclined seat and a baby swing. I didn’t know if this was just “one more thing” and a waste of space. But our kids never liked that bouncy seat for even one minute. And so far the swing is mostly good, but not always a winner. So some friends lent us their Rock and Play until their baby comes along.  And let me tell you…this thing is a wonder. It doesn’t look like much. But they must have done some serious engineering on how to get the seat just right -- because Bronson LOVES to sleep in it. Before we got this thing I was holding him almost 24/7 because that’s how he’d sleep so well. But I have two other kids, and I need to eat or go to the bathroom sometimes, so setting him down sounded nice. This thing has really helped a lot. I’m super glad I looked into it, and super glad our friends lent it to us.

So that’s how things are going.
I’m not sure how often I’ll get around to blogging for a bit. Time will tell.

Thanks again to everyone for all your support, well wishes, and congratulations. (Sorry I didn’t really get a chance to respond to them -- hands have been full.) They really mean a lot to me. And have helped a lot as I have been in this weird-hard place.

Postpartum Style!

So I confessed my obsession with pinning maternity looks to you a little bit ago.

While pinning to that board, I started realizing I was tempted to pin more and more things to that board that were intended to work on an after-baby body. (After-baby-body happens to the best of us --- no matter how many pins you see showing you how “fast” they got their body back. I say “fast” because no matter what, it seems like forever.)

I also started to realize I have a good number of friends who’ve recently had babies, and a couple more having babies in the upcoming months. And I’ve had a few vent they don’t know what to wear.

It’s never easy figuring out what to where in this stage of life. You are tired. You feel weird. You feel you look weird. You don’t have a lot of time to get dressed in general. But you know if this was jr high you wouldn’t be coming out of your room for an entire weekend as you work out things that you might wear throw everything you own on the floor in a rage after pulling it on and off. But you just don’t have that luxury anymore, you need to spend your time on loving someone else.

So I started a Pinterest board for Postpartum looks. Just stuff to get the mind goin in the "what to wear now” direction. I can’t promise you perfection. I can’t promise it will all be stuff you like. Or be stuff you own. Or that you’ll be able to buy any of the items on there exactly. BUT I can promise you I will pin stuff there. :) And I can promise that it will get your thoughts flowing towards stuff that might just work.

If you are expecting now, I’d highly suggest you try to find a few things you think would camouflage a 5-6month sized baby-belly as best as you can, for your postpartum belly. It’d be great to do it now, before the baby is here, making shopping difficult. Make sure the chest area in your new clothes is able to accommodate boobs you never knew you could fit on your body -- when your milk first comes in it’s outrageous -- they go down, but stay pretty big for a good while if you are nursing!

Feel free to follow my new board or just visit it from time to time if you need some inspiration on this subject.

You can find my new Pin board right here.

How To Care For A Mother Who's Had A C-Section

Thank you for taking the time to look this over!  I feel it is a very important issue which receives little attention.
This is a hard subject to cover in one post.  There is a lot to say.  And there are many ways for women to feel about it.  
But it is near and dear to my heart, so I want to try.  

This post is intended to be for people who know and care for a woman (or women) who've had a c-section; and that women is experiencing any negative feelings about the c-section.  

Please Note: I do not wish to imply anyone should feel negatively about having a c-section. I do not believe that at all. I believe that every birth, and every entry into motherhood, is sacred and not to be looked down on. I believe that every mother is amazing and strong, and that she gave gloriously of herself to become a mother. 
And therefore, I write this post because I know that some women (not all) (but more than I had originally realized) do feel some form of negative feelings after a c-section. And it is my deep hope to be able to give some peace and healing for those in that scenario.
If you do not feel any negative feelings about your c-section I am so very glad, I wish that for every mother. But if that is the case you may find this post less applicable or helpful.

If you, yourself, have had a c-section and want to check this post out, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it in the comments!  ALSO, I'd just like to give you a heads up that if you are in an emotional state over your c-section while reading this, it could potentially be a difficult read.  Please take that into account and give yourself a chance to read it at a good time.



My name is Lydia and I had a c-section in 2010 delivering my first.  
It was shockingly difficult for me, emotionally.  I wasn't expecting that.
Then in 2012 I was blessed to be able to have a wonderful VBAC (Vaginal Birth After a Cesarean) delivery with my second.  
Despite having that experience, I still had many emotions to work through regarding my c-section.  

In the interim, I started blogging my heart on the matter.  Through that and everyday life, I've met many women who've opened up to me about how hard a c-section was on their heart.  
Not every woman struggles with their c-section---I personally know a few women who were just fine with theirs, even quite happy with it.  But I've met many more who've wrestled deeply with disappointment, a sense of loss or lack of resolution, an impression of failure, or lack of strength.  This notion seems to ring particularly true in the case of first-time-moms who haven't experienced any other births to weigh their experience against.  
Because of these things, in this post I'm going to lay out ideas about how to support women who are grieved by having a c-section.  

If you are taking the time to read this, then I know you already care deeply for a woman in your life who's had a c-section.  
I can't pretend to speak for her specifically.  We are each very unique.  But I do hope to shed some light  that may help your relationship during her recovery.  

Please feel free to share this with anyone you think may benefit from it.

Original photo source: Here, which got it from Here?

The first thing you should know is, if she is feeling anything negative about her c-section, it is valid.  She should be allowed to feel those feelings.  Having negative feelings doesn't mean she can't simultaneously be thrilled that she has a healthy baby because of the c-section (in best case scenarios).  One can be fully grateful and utterly disappointed at the same time.  And it's okay if she is.  
If you can allow her the space to have both feelings that will be HUGE in her emotional recovery.  It can be very difficult to work through without that leeway.  

There are things that she has lost and she should be allowed to grieve them.  
These things may not seem like something to everyone.  But if they mean something to her, you will not be able to convince her that they don't mean something.  The only way through a loss is grieving it.  

One of the hardest parts of this particular dynamic of grief is that it is very hard to relate to without experiencing it yourself.  These emotions are hard to convey, but in attempt to help you relate I will share a couple of ways in which I have heard them described.  Of course they are not universally accurate, but merely attempts to convey the emotion.  

One source said it is like planning a wedding that doesn't happen.  They said this because they are both a special day you plan and wait for with a certain outcome anticipated.  If you've planned a wedding and have your heart set on it, yet it doesn't come to fruition, if you've been stood up at the alter, that is certainly something to grieve.  A c-section can be slightly similar: a date with much anticipation and much disappointment instead.  *This, of course, cannot account for the happiness of having a baby, so it doesn't fully depict the scenario.  

Instead, I think this is the best comparison I've heard:  Another source described it as if your house caught fire and burned to the ground, but you and your family got out alive.  Of course you are thrilled to be alive and have your loved ones---you will likely be filled with a sense of awe, love, gratefulness, and perhaps a renewed sense of self.  But there is still so much loss---your home, all your personal belongings, especially the irreplaceable things like family photos and heirlooms.  If you knew someone who lost those things in a fire, you may try to remind them what they still have... but you would admit it a loss.  You can never get back your grandmother's wedding dress.  Additionally, it would not be at all surprising if the fire survivors struggled with post traumatic stress syndrome.  A traumatic birth is actually quite comparable to this scenario -- an experience full of blessing and gratitude but mixed with sorrow; and perhaps accompanied by distressing memories which can be hard to overcome. (Here is a link to a women’s account of living through an actual house fire which happened in the middle of the night and thankfully her family got out alive. It’s heart wrenching, and while I have never lived through a house fire, I do relate to her range of emotions she experiences soon after it, as they correlate to many things I felt after my c-section.) 

You may be wondering what has she really lost by having a c-section?  
It may not seem like much, if anything.  But she has actually lost some sizable things.  Each woman will register the deficiency differently,  but a general summary of some of the losses are: 

• The physical fulfillment of pregnancy---giving birth out of your own self.  This includes the hormonal shift naturally intended for mothers. Women experiencing vaginal birth have a different hormonal experience than c-section mothers. And in some cases it can result in challenging effects, both physical and emotional, for the mother.  
• A sense of true womanhood/accomplishment/inner-strength.  
• Sadly, she will have lost the respect of some people in regards to how she has birthed. Whether or not she believes their opinions to be true or false, or of any value at all, their opinions will at times be placed upon her without her permission. That can be very hard to live with.
• In most scenarios, a mother who births via cesarean loses the chance to experience the first hour or two of her baby's life, as most hospitals take the baby to the nursery and the mother to a recovery room for at least an hour, possibly longer.  It can feel like a profound loss.  
• In the same vein: a c-section is more difficult to recover from than a vaginal birth and it requires a longer amount of time to do so.  Many c-section-mothers feel they have lost the ability to really enjoy the first weeks (or longer) of their baby's life while they are dealing with the effects of major surgery.  Many feel they had an inability to take care of their baby they way they had hoped---simple things like getting out of bed to reach a crying baby can feel next to impossible, which may also adversely affect her ability to bond well with her baby.  
• She has lost an unscarred uterus.  

• With her uterus now scarred, she has lost the ability to simply see the doctor or midwife of her choice for any subsequent births.  She may not even get to go to the hospital of her preference for future births.  Many midwives will not see women who've had a prior c-section.  And many hospitals and providers will not allow a woman to have a vaginal birth after cesarean under their care.  In that case, regardless of her opinion, if this mother would like to be seen by that provider she will need to have a repeat cesarean.  Depending on where she lives her options for birth could now be severely limited.  

• She has lost the chance to be spoken to in a non-threatening way regarding future births.  During any future pregnancies lots of stipulations will be placed on her.  And many more fear-filled scenarios will held over her head.  

• Most women who've had a c-section have lost the ability to not fear birth.  She may struggle deeply with the idea of having more children even if she had previously wanted many.  

• Additionally, many providers will now suggest she only have repeat cesareans, and therefore limit for her how many children she should have, since they do not recommend having many repeat cesareans.  Depending on her hopes for future family members, it could be devastating.   

These are just a few things she may be mourning.  And she needs space to work through that.  

Here are some tips I have for caring for this woman you know, based on how well you know her.  

You may want to just read the section that applies to you.  But you certainly may read it all to gain further insight.  
*IF after reading this post, you find that you would like to learn more about grieving a cesarean this has been the most in depth article I've ever come across on the subject.  

More Mom Hair

Thought I'd show you another one of my mom hair tricks today.

This one is particularly helpful for once your dealing with sorta-kinda-grown-out baby hairs but those fun little guys they aren't long enough to really work with yet. (If you are wondering what I'm talking about: you get 'em after you shed your pregnancy hair in mass, and then it starts to all grow back at once)

(The stage right before this, where they are just non-helpable, is the "funnest".  Just grin and bare it. :) It grows.)

Anyway,
Mine are starting to be functional(ish) right now, around a year out from birth. But they still are quite short and want to escape most my stylings. (Or lack of stylings on a bla day.)
When my hair is down I like to combine some mousse and smoothing serum and rub it into my hair line while its wet.
But on the days where I want my hair up. (Which is often -- its kinda just the way I like it. Easy, pretty and functional.) I'm loving this thing!

After trying to google for this thing under weird-name-attempts I finally figured out its officially called:

 a flexible stretch comb.

I think these came out when I was just about to go into Jr High. At least thats the first time I'd ever seen one. And being that I was a junior higher, (and jr highers are awkward) the first girl I ever saw wearing one, wore it soooooooo poorly that I literally thought she had brain surgery and had terrible football-lace-stitches around her skull.

So I never wanted to own one of these after that!

Then I had a baby (years later),

and I was watching Project Runway on DVD and Heidi Klum just so happened to wear one so shockingly well (and I mean, that's just how she wears anything) that I wanted to go buy one right that instant! She erased years of hair-horror in an instant!

(I tired really hard to find a picture of her in the hair style online, but I can't. Its driving me so crazy that I may end up re-watching seasons 2 &4 (which are the ones I think I had watched -- but I'm not even sure!) just to find it. She had one of these flexible stretch combs in, and her hair was all lose and wavy and then done into a french braid.  -- I mean she just reglamourized french braids for me right then and there too! (Yeah they are cool again now, but they weren't back then she was going out on a limb and rocking it.))

(If for some reason you know what I'm talking about, let me know what season it is, or send me a pic!)

Anyway, I thought, "She made that look so good, no one is gonna convince me this thing isn't cool."

So I just wore it with confidence from day one.

It seriously fixes so many of my hair issues at the moment.

I had it tucked away since our move, and just pulled it out this week and I'm loving it all over again!

And Blake loves when I wear it. 

And that makes it that much sweeter!

I throw this hair style together in 2 mins and Blake thinks I'm runway worthy.

Never hurts a girl's day to get that kind of reaction.

To do it, I just pull my hair up in a lose messy pony tail. 

Fasten this thing around my neck, carefully pull it up over my face, tuck it into my hair, and pull it back.

You can keep it tight, or kinda fluff the hair up. 

(I like both, but my baby hairs are so short I don't do much fluffing for now)

Then I take the pony tail out and redo it. 

I like to puff the top of the hair behind the headband,

and then put the rest in a messy blob-bun.

My headband's fastener is kind lose and can open up, so I tuck a bobbie pin up into the headband on either side of the fastener and it stays put all day.

My hair is also shorter underneath still from when I cut it all off. 

So I stick two long bobbie pins across the back (between the headband and the bun) to hold that in place.

And there you have it.

If you missed them here are two other old mom hair posts: 1, 2

Mom Hair

I remember randomly coming across some women's blog one day, soon after getting married, and well before becoming a mom.

This blogger had boasted in a post about how she did NOT have mom hair.

In my youth, I didn't stop to admit that I never really considered "mom-hair" outside of maybe like the phenomenon when a new mom chops her hair off. But I did stop to wrongfully judge her hair as "so-not-cool-I-don't-know-why-she-is-bragging."
And maybe that's a good case to show you don't do yourself any favors when you brag, cause it leaves you are wide open for criticism.
BUT anyway, that's so not the point of this post.

My point is, I have since learned that there is something about being a mom that really kills your hair.

I did not realize that pregnancy hair is destined to fill up your bathtub drain for months on end, after you give birth (3 months after -- approximately.)

And that, as that hair fell out, my hair was becoming thinner than it had ever been or I ever thought it would be (since all of it was now in my drain pipe.)



I remember being a kid and hearing my second cousin, who had just had a baby, talk about how her feet were bigger and her hair was different. As a sevenish-year-old that all sounded like the coolest stuff ever -- being a grown up but still growing...awesome! Having hair that changes...awesome! She told me how some women's hair gets curly after it wasn't. Or turns brown after having been blonde. I remember excitedly telling her that was the coolest thing in the world and I hope it happened to me!!!!
Cut to being 27 and I no longer felt that way. The curly hair I had once spent years praying would turn straight, but had since learned to love (and love a lot) was now turning straight! But it wasn't straight-straight. But it wasn't curly. It was just flat on top and big on the bottom. And messy looking no matter what.

THEN
Add in the fact that oh...yeah....when I don't get enough sleep and I have 5 mins tops to shower and get dressed (before my baby insisted I pick her up)....I really just didn't even want to try to style my hair or do makeup. (And besides, you know I'm not leaving the house yet...like I want to try to breastfeed out of the house -- me and that boppy, the non-latching baby, and the "stunning outfits" I have to dawn on my postpartum figure that doesn't fit into any of my clothes or any bra sizes known to man...errr woman.)
But I had it in my head that I for some reason was competing with Hollywood mom's getting "caught" by paparazzi. So I felt like I should try.
(Note: Don't get in that mind frame...its dumb.)

So...yeah...anyway... mom hair:
Its not a fact of "giving up" like I had supposed wrongly before I got there.
Its like a force of nature, you don't get a say in.

But don't dispare.
You aren't bound to grossness.
There are ways to help.
And by the way...its just a stage of life...don't freak out....your babies will get older and you will have time to style again. You haven't fallen into shambles before your time.


Clearly this hair salvation is not a one size fits all solution time.
Everyone has different hair to start with.
So if you are expecting, I'd suggest you spend some time figuring out ways to do your hair in 5 mins or less (preferably 3 or less really.) Because then you'll have the ninja mom skills you need when your baby says "NOT HAIR TIME>>>MEEE TIME!!!!"

But I was just gonna share a few of the things that worked well for me.

I was gonna do pictures....but who am I kidding. I'm not that cool. I'm doing good to accomplish these things, I don't have it together enough to photograph the evidence. (And I'm also scared to see them in "print" --- they may not be as pulled together as I think they are.)


My first solution after having Jasmine was the sock bun.

I found this BEFORE pinterest existed. I just googled "ways to do hair over night."
I was showering at night and wanted to just get up in the morning and be ready.
(And by ready I mean, not hate walking by the mirror.)
This was an awesome solution for my not-really-curly-definetly-not-straight postpartum hair.
This type of hair trick is now all over pinterest done by many a lady....and the sock bun even has some "as seen on tv" gadgets instead of socks out there.
But I thought I'd pay homage the the girl who helped my mom-life out quite a bit by using her video.

This is who showed me how to do the bun.

And the fact that it makes curls.

I had layers at the time so I needed to do two buns.

I'd wash my hair at night, dry it with the blow dryer till it was just a pinch damp.

Then I would put my hair half up, and bun up that part. Then I would put the bottom half in a pony tail and bun that.

Its really easy to sleep on. I'd take it out in the morning, and worked really great for me.

I felt much more pulled together.

This time around I cut my hair off after Baby #2 because I finally got around to my goal of donating my hair.

So for a long time there wasn't much to be done to it. (My curly hair isn't always good short -- but lucky for me..I've matured a lot and didn't care if I looked like a hot mess. :) )

Last night I tried the head band curls

That worked well for my medium length hair. It's also nice because the underneath of my hair is still short from my cut and its reaches that.

When I took it out this morning I was like "Woah I look awesome."

However....when I went back by the mirror it had mellowed into just ok.

Which is definitely better than gross, but I wish I could figure out to to make it stay the way it was.

Other than that...

I really like putting my hair up.

These twisty spin pins are awesome for buns. BUT they also are great for all sorts of random updos.


I've been liking doing a do sort of like this

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and securing the twist by screwing those spin pins up into the twist. And into the bun.
I really like that look on me lately. (But mine is no where near as polished as this one -- I'm usually into messy looks anyway -- which just happens to work well with this stage of life too! ha!)
And its actually really fast.
I just kinda roll my hair towards my head (I do both sides) (But I do like the bin to the side like this) and put a ponytail holder at the base. Then use the twisty pin to keep the roll in place. Then kinda blob the bun over on itself and twirl a pin into that.

Also these twisty combs were great for a french twist look when my hair was shorter. It was one of the only ways I could get my hair up at first. And I still like doing it that way now too.

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(This isn't the prettiest photo -- but it shows the idea well.)

I feel pretty polished with this look.

I was lucky enough to find both these types of hair gadgets at the dollar store! But they normally have them at Target and the like for a bit more cash.

I bought two packs of the spin pins (which means I have 4 pins) and that is enough for me. (But I kinda kick myself for not also grabbing a pack of the mini ones too because sometimes the regular size is too long and sticks out.)

And I bought 3 of the twisty combs to keep my short layers in check, but two usually cuts it for me now.

So yeah... just a few thoughts on ways I use to not feel so hair "bla" when small ones taking up all my time.

Edit in: Oh wait I forgot one important thing: DYI Dry Shampoo --- See Here for details.

And here is something to help with the postpartum baby hair regrowth.