Birthday & Bike

So...right after I posted that last post, I was just about to upload photos....and my internet went out.
And our service provider couldn't get someone out for DAYS!! Until Thursday!
I was feeling soo disconected! It was crazy.
You probably didn't notice though because I'm so inconsistent at posting. :)

So, now that its back, I can finally show you those promised photos.

So...
I found a tricycle on craigslist for $8 and Blake picked it up for me. (This is the way we roll.)

It needed some cute-a-fy-ing.
It was too boyish and too rusty. (Only on the bell and the parent-pushing-stick-thing.) (And its a good thing this baby has one of those pushing sticks...Jasmine's not really sure how to use a bike yet -- that thing makes it useable for the time being.)


So, I tried going to the store by myself and getting some spray paint for the thing. But I had a Lydia-loves-designing-too-much-wants-everything-to-be-perfect induced anxiety session over the phone with Blake and came home with a pink that I basically hated. Walmart didn't have any colors that really appealed to me and Blake was sure pink was the best bet for a girl.

But a friend of mine said try Hobby Lobby because they have more colors, so I ran Jasmine over there with me and had her pick out a color.
She's on a green kick lately. So despite her being one of the girliest, girly-girls around ("I wear a princess dress every day, rain or shine") she doesn't really like pink. Before she loved green, she was on a red role.
As someone who really pays attention to this stuff, I've been really impressed and intrigued by her design choices. They've really been quite sophisticated and classic. I think she's a natural. (And I'm not just saying that because she's my kid. I'm actually really surprised by the stuff she does in the way of layout and visual choices.)

Anyway.
That said, I did have to steer her choice of green -- because she was going for army greens and I just couldn't see that working. (And I figured after her green stage comes to an end, which I think it will, it would look too boyish.)

Then I had her help me pick out some ribbon (I bought some that didn't end up on the bike, but I think will end up on a ribbon dancer kind thing.) And some fancy duct tape.

*Not pictured is the white which was Krylon's Paint and Primer in one. 

Blake took the bike apart for me 

I covered the handles in painter's tape and the wheels in plastic bags,

and I primed it all in white.

Then painted most of it green, leaving a couple parts white.

Once dry we brought it inside to put back together.

I took that ribbon and sewed it on top of the raggedy Radio Flyer Fabric thing.

I didn't think paint would do too well on the handles, so I covered them in the cute dutch tape sparkly stuff.

I couldn't cover the sides, but figured that was fine.

(I'm the only one who cares anyway.)

I also put a stripe of the tape around the bike between the tire and the handle bars. (Wish I could describe a bike better.) And around the peddles just because I can. :)

I really love how it turned out!!

Jasmine's other birthday gifts were also very thrifty this year.

I found this crib/sink/highchair for $7 at Goodwill.

She LOVES it!!

The Lamb is her baby lately.

And boy does she take good care of her baby!

I got these "princess cups" at Salvation Army for $0.40 a piece.

I thought they could go with our silver tea set we have (my grandma gave to me when I  was young.)

And I found this beautiful princess necklace for like $2 at Salvation Army one time.

Granted when I bought it she was in her red stage, so it would have gone over better currently if it was green. But whatever! Its still on every day now.

We are going to have another birthday party over the 4th of July with both our family's for both our girls....so this little lady is gonna have tons of stuff!! 

Hope it all will fit in our house!! :)

'nother little update

Just thought I'd take this naptime to say,

Thanks again for praying for me.
This year's pre-birthday and actual birthday has gone much, much better emotionally for me.

The days leading up to the birthday went great.  But the day before had some hiccups. Less flashing back, and more flashing forward. Worrying about potential future birthing processes. I'm not sure where I'll live if we have more kids, and I started freaking out about leaving my extremely beloved midwife here. I started worrying about my emotional stability during a potential hospital birth. (There was a time when I was pregnant with Ruby (my 2nd) and I was near the wing where I had Jasmine, and my body just kinda lost it. Shaky and a bit dizzy. I'm not sure how I'd handle labor with all those machines and wires hooked to me -- which is usually the standard treatment of VBACers. And the sights and smells. and. and. and.) I started to get a little dizzy just thinking about it. Which lead me to a mental stream of regrets.
But,
I took a walk and prayed and did feel a lot better after that.

The next day, the actual birthday. It went as well as I could have hoped. I just felt a bit heavy. But pretty functional.

I still really hate that Jasmine's happy day is my hard day. It makes me feel so guilty.

Hard-day-anniversaries are something I'd witnessed a lot in my life, but not something I grasped until I had one. Its not something I work myself up towards having. Its something that just kinda settles down on me without any actual mental process towards it. Its like a place that exists on a day, and you don't really get a say on if you'd rather not go there.

But I'm pleased that its gotten easier.

I do wanna show you some pictures from the day.
Especially some of a little tricycle Blake and I made over for Jasmine. :)
I'll post those soon.

Thanks again for helping uphold me during my tough days.
Lydia

$5 towards a new Living Room

Blake and I are in the middle of seeing what Life brings our way. We have a couple of things showing promise for his career and we are looking into them. That means we are starting to think about a house. Well, we have to make the call on where, but we know our future means a new place. I've really enjoyed living in our duplex. WAY more than I would have thought I would. Its so functional. Its space is tiny, but the layout is so well thought out that I haven't had a whole lot of trouble fitting our stuff in here.
That said, the minute I started thinking about having a house my brain almost exploded. I love decorating and the thought of having my own place that I could paint, and tile, and makeover is enough to keep me awake at night day dreaming instead of night dreaming.
I also started thinking about having a "me" space. Right now we have 3 rooms and the living room open to the kitchen and a small bathroom.
I am always dreaming about a "grown up space" where toys can't touch, that I can go to and decompress once the girls are in bed.
So far our bedroom has not been that place. When Ruby was tiny she shared our room. Then when she got into her room I put the sewing table in our room because I couldn't find any place for that. And our room turned into a heap of projects and mess.
I am constantly rotating our house around to work with the stage of babyhood we are in. It works. I haven't hated it. Its kinda fun to rearrange.
Anyway, lately I've been feeling like we need a new rearrangement if I'm gonna be able to handle staying here any longer (post-new-place-day-dreaming-gone-wild.)
I wanted to find a desk to go next to our toy TV cabinets. There had been different baby things there --- bouncy, pack and play, what-have-you. But the pack and play had turned into a cage of toys that looked like a disaster, and Ruby doesn't really need the pack and play anymore. (If I NEED to corral her for a random moment, I can set it in the middle of the room.) I wanted somewhere to hold some more of my stuff and feel more grown up.
So I set out to my favorite mommy-online-shopping-place: Craigslist. :)
I love thrift stores. But since having Ruby and feeling like its too hard to haul the girls into one, I've turned to craigslist. If I find something, I just ask Blake to go pick it up for me after work. Its awesome. I've scored some great stuff so cheap on there!

Yesterday's amazing purchase....this crazy perfect fit of a desk. (Size and style --  which is turning into random vintage modern industrial eclectic.) For FIVE DOLLARS!! Holy cow. It even has this cool space in back where you plug in an attached-to-the-desk power strip so your computer cords are all tucked into this holder back there. (And it works -- for $5 I wasn't sure that thing would be good still. But it is!)

So I got to clear a lot of space on our TV cabinets off. And set up my stuff in a more appealing way. Plus now I have a place to work (Edit photos, blog, etc) (Ok, ok, also facebook and pinterest) like a grown up. This post is brought to you from this space.

On that top shelf, I have our diapers in a three sectioned basket. It holds our Size 4s & Size 3s, and my morning reading books are in the third space. To the left of that is my knitting. Underneath is a basket of more books I'm working through. (All baskets thrifted.) And space to tuck my computer away in.

Our toy box ottomans work GREAT as a seat, tucked away underneath when not in use. (That other thing under there is part of our surround sound stuff.)

In the cleared off space to the right of our TV I have a box where I put our library-borrowed movies and it also hold my iPod/iPad-etc cords. Next to the Vase I have our "charging station" for our phones and iPads to hang out when needed.

It all feels so much more functional and beautiful.

And I CRAVE functional beauty.

Its my biggest goal of our home. To have as perfect as possible function, that is as beautiful as it gets.

I like to have just the right amount of stuff. Not too much. Not too little.

I feel like  this desk nailed it for me.

Apparently I'm nesting despite not being pregnant. (I cannot stop myself right now from organizing like a fiend. I think its due to me being used to June being nesting month. Or it could be that I didn't nest too hard with Ruby, since I was focused on VBACing, which meant nonstop working out to go into labor on my own -- my body loves staying pregnant -- So maybe I'm making up for that. OR it could just be what needs to be done after a year of mothering two little ones -- LOTS of make up work for the days where I just didn't have it in me when they were smaller.)

Anyway, so because of that I decided because my sewing table/sewing machine should come out of our bedroom and I realized it would fit right next to our couch as a side table. And then when I want to sew it won't be so loud next to Ruby's bedroom like it was before. (I thought I could get stuff done when she sleeps but she would wake up from the noise.)

Plus I'll be forced to pick up my mess since I can't stand the living room to stay messy -- since its always covered in toys during the day -- I clean it up at night.

To my surprise the other toy box fits underneath it as another seat/ way to save space! Perfect!

I threw a couple coasters and decorations from around my bedroom on there and called it a day.

(To the left under the couch is a basket of shoes I tuck away. Jasmine pulled it out while I was taking photos to get her "glass slippers" and I figured you might like seeing where our shoes go.)

In that tray thing, I'm storing our remote controls and our keys. Behind the table I tuck our carseat and my mom-bag.

So yeah. I was just so excited I had to tell someone!!

$5 and my life feels so much more functional which feels so much more peaceful! Ahhh!

Little Update

So..I feel like I haven't said anything in a while...

Thought I'd fill ya in.

About a week ago we traveled back to Illinois to see my family. My uncle was getting married and I got to do the wedding photos.
(Did I ever tell you in a past life (pre-motherhood) I was a wedding photographer?)
It was so fun to get back behind the lens for a day. I'm such a wedding lover. I love seeing love.

And Jasmine was the flower girl. (She was so into the idea. She had been throwing flowers for weeks.)

It was such a beautiful wedding. And even more beautiful was the light in my uncle's eyes. He is LOVE STRUCK. It is so sweet.

Also, once we got back home, I realized that we had spent June 10th driving home.

I realized this on June 11th.

What does that mean?

June 10th was Jasmine's Due Date.

It had been a hard day for for me the past 3 years.

(I didn't go into labor on my own with her, and it broke my heart.)

This year, I didn't even notice the day come and go.

I was so excited to realize that!

If you've prayed at all for me and this June...THANK YOU.

I've been feeling great.

No flash backs.

And when I try to remember Junes of the past, they feel like memories, not being transplanted back into them. (I'm not sure if that makes sense, but before I would leave present day and be back in 2010 ---smelling the scents and feeling the feelings. So just remembering June 2010, like I remember any memory, feels HUGE. It is a big change for me. )

Next week is Jasmine's Birthday/ my c-section anniversary.

That's been the big day to face for me in the past.

So if you don't mind, keep me in your prayers, just in case.

Hope to share a few new thoughts coming soon.

Its just hard to balance everything.

Right now I'm editing those photos.

And trying to keep on top of normal mom-life.

If you're a pray-er...

wanna pray for me?

I just noticed that it's June.

Historically (of late) June has been emotional for me.

In June 2010 I faced a due date that came and went on the 10th. I prayed and begged that I would go into labor on my own. But I didn't. And two weeks later I was induced. And we ended in a c-section.

June 2011, I was bowled over by what I am assuming was post-tramatic stress -- that got me so bad I almost couldn't get out of bed. (If I didn't have a baby to take care of, I wouldn't have.)

June 2012 I was pregnant and facing another due date and Jasmine's birthday was extremely emotional for me. I felt really guilty for having such a personal vested interest in a day that was actually hers to celebrate.

I'm hoping, after Ruby's VBAC birth, that June 2013 will be an easy going month of emotions -- in terms of birth-stuff-flash-backs, anyway.

I think I feel good about things now. I'm sure because of the VBAC, but also just because its been 3 years now.

But I got a little nervous today when I saw it was June. The last two years the emotions came on as a surprise and almost in a tangible way. They didn't feel like emotions I've had outside of a trauma -- they were really unique and I didn't know how to cope.

So if you would be so kind, would you please pray that this June would not sneak attack me.

I'd really appreciate it. Thank you!