wanna pray for me?
I just noticed that it's June.
Historically (of late) June has been emotional for me.
In June 2010 I faced a due date that came and went on the 10th. I prayed and begged that I would go into labor on my own. But I didn't. And two weeks later I was induced. And we ended in a c-section.
June 2011, I was bowled over by what I am assuming was post-tramatic stress -- that got me so bad I almost couldn't get out of bed. (If I didn't have a baby to take care of, I wouldn't have.)
June 2012 I was pregnant and facing another due date and Jasmine's birthday was extremely emotional for me. I felt really guilty for having such a personal vested interest in a day that was actually hers to celebrate.
I'm hoping, after Ruby's VBAC birth, that June 2013 will be an easy going month of emotions -- in terms of birth-stuff-flash-backs, anyway.
I think I feel good about things now. I'm sure because of the VBAC, but also just because its been 3 years now.
But I got a little nervous today when I saw it was June. The last two years the emotions came on as a surprise and almost in a tangible way. They didn't feel like emotions I've had outside of a trauma -- they were really unique and I didn't know how to cope.
So if you would be so kind, would you please pray that this June would not sneak attack me.
I'd really appreciate it. Thank you!
No comments:
Post a Comment