Can you see me?

A friend of mine just told me my Facebook updates don't show up in her newsfeed so she hasn't seen my posts in a while.

That is one downfall of a Facebook page.
If you don't have it set up to show up in your newsfeed, it won't.

If you have "liked" me on Facebook, but still aren't seeing me in your newsfeed...


Go to my page
(or any page you like, really!)
And...

Hope to be seeing more of you!

:)

Ahh! I'm turning 30!!

Warning!

This is a long, totally self indulgent, post.

But I needed to do it!

It may be annoying to anyone who is not me.

Read at your own risk. :)

My Birthday is On Saturday.

I will be turning 30.

I have a very clear memory

 of myself,

(likely before I was blessed with the gift of turning an age that requires two digits)

declaring with much certainty 

that I would never be sad to turn an older age

and that I would never want to lie about my age

that I would always be proud to add another year!

Seriously,

that sounds like 

super-wisdom!

But 

then 

I had a week left of my twenties

and was are staring
at the number

30

and I started to question my childhood wisdom.

I really wanted to be that person who looked at this age with dignity and excitement and joy.

But lets be real,

I freaked out.

There had been a few hard things, 

piled

 onto the other hard things 

that I've been trying to work out as a mommy of two,

and then
 the calendar showed me that:

"Hey guess what? You are old!

Well you will be in one week, anyway.

Better get ready!"

And then

 someone who fits in one of those hard emotional niches of my heart, 

turned 30 

on Facebook 

with what looked like 

SO much more dignity (and coolness and excitement!) 

than I was about to

...

and I crumpled.

Facebook friends, no it was not you, its one of those things you see on accident because its a friend of a friend. Don't worry. 

I called my mom.

She said she remembered how turning 30 felt that way.

It kinda helped.

Then I sat there thinking.

I remembered someone else 

on Facebook 

talking about how as they turned 30 

they were more fit and healthy 

than they were when they turned 20.

And it occurred to me that, 

actually...so will I.

It made me want to look at myself in my twenties 

so I could see

 what I thought

 I was missing
wasn't actually there.

Because after I thought bout it harder,

I realized 

I had begun missing a youth 

that I never had.

I had started inventing a past 

made up of a mix of:

 the very fit, young 

swimmers who share a lap lane with me 

at the college's rec center...

and the famous teenagers of today 

on the TODAY show...

and a pretend person I made up

who wears everything I see on Pinterest...

and this great skinned master of makeup...

who had all things figured out...

and was just so cool

like those get-paid-cause-they-are-just-that-cool bloggers of today I've been looking at.

I seriously thought I was that person before. Back before "life got hard" and I "got old."

But 

something told me that I might be wrong,

that 

I better look back and see who I really was,

because

 maybe I would be happier with who I am now,

than who I was then.

.

.

.

Off to the garage 

at nap time,

to pull out this Rubbermaid Bin

.

.

.

My Toddler loves Hamburgers

You know, I'm not really sure the right definition of toddler.
Maybe 2 1/2 years old is no longer a toddler? 
Oh well, that's the title!

I've recently learned the easiest way for me to make a bunch of hamburgers at one time.

This lesson was due to: Jasmine's love of hamburgers, and her tendency to go through random spurts of time where she only wants to eat one kind of food.
If I make up a bunch of hamburgers and freeze them, life is pretty simple when it comes time for her random hamburger cravings.

At first I tried to make a bunch and cook them on the stove top. But it took forever, I had to stand there watching them the whole time (which meant Blake needed to be home to watch the girls) and I ended up getting the grease to smoke after cooking for a while (so we were trying to fan it out the door to save ourselves from the fire alarm).

Then I decided to try baking them.
Awesome!

It takes a while for them to bake, but its not hands on time.
Only the forming of the patties is. (Which I do when you girls sleep.)

So apparently when you bake hamburgers you have to add liquid so they don't get all dry and chewy. 
And I guess, then they are technically called Salisbury Steak -- huh! I had no idea!

A lot of people add cream soup -- but for Jasmine's no dairy issues I came up with this.

You can use onion soup, which I cheat slave away making from "scratch" and just use:
Some water, beef bullion (or beef bullion paste) and onion powder all whisked together.
Then I just mix the beef into that. I don't put so much that it feels liquidy, but it kinda just feels more fluffy. Its probably about two cans worth of liquid. And then I sprinkle some of our "McDonalds Seasonings" in and mix some more.

Really easy.

Form patties (they will shrink once baked.)

Then cover with aluminum foil

And Bake at
350 degrees for 30 minutes

I made three trays in the oven and rotated them half way through baking.

You can ignore the two pans in the picture, they are just there because I only had enough time to cook, not clean, during nap time!

The big bowl was where I mixed the meat in with the liquid and seasonings.

And now you have a whole bunch of fully cooked patties ready to freeze and reheat at a toddler's moment's notice!

Its kinda a nice nap time project.

(But you have to decide to relax and enjoy it as alone time, and not think of it as a chore.)

P.S. I tried to make the photos a little less gross -- but I found taking pictures of meat, both raw and cooked, to be gross! Hopefully you aren't disturbed. I did my best. :)

Thoughts Download

I'm a mom of two small ones, it took me a week to finish this post! Sheesh.

Apparently these thought insisted on being written. Why else would I bother?

Sometimes they just need to be released.

via

I've started to try doing my morning swimming again this week.

I like swimming in the morning better than at night for a bunch of reasons. 

The gym I use has two pools: one is open in the morning, the other at night. The one that's open in the morning, has showers that are actually hot, instead of lukewarm-cold. That's a huge reason! (Try taking a cold shower after swimming in a cool pool right before going outside at night, all wet, in the middle of winter! Not my idea of fun!)

But also working out in the morning, just works better for my temperament. I do better getting up to exercise. If I wait till the end of the day its really hard to get myself there, and then it kinda keeps me awake with all the endorphins and such. 

I hate getting out of bed in the morning. But if I can do it, and I get myself to the pool, oh my gosh my whole life just feels more in order.

I love getting a shower and getting dressed (stuff that doesn't happen, until much later in the day, if I don't go to the pool.) And I always forget how awesome endorphins are.  I don't know when I will get to the point where I say, "Hey a work out sounds like a great idea" before I do it;  but I defiantly am at the point where I say, "Hey workouts are awesome"after I do it. 

(I couldn't go in the morning until now because of both Blake's schedule and the fact that Ruby was too little to make that work in her schedule -- she doesn't think a bottle is food.)

So I'm pretty excited about this new workout routine.

While I was swimming I was thinking, I can't believe its been half a year since I had a baby!

I still think about my labor and or her delivery almost every day.

It doesn't seem like its even been more than a month ago that I did that.

I go back to that day over, and over, and over. 

I thank God all the time for getting to have a labor of my own body.

It was absolutely nothing like the first time, and that's why I think of it so much.

To be honest with you, I enjoyed it.

It hurt, it still was hard. But it was so normal compared to last time that I honestly actually remember it as fun. (Well up until it was time to push, because that's when I got scared. But even that was way way way more awesome than last time -- well clearly...)

Recently I keep encountering all these places and things that remind me intensely of being pregnant with Ruby.

The the other night I ran to the mall for some just-me time after Ruby was in bed and Blake was watching Jasmine. While there I had to go to the bathroom. The last time I was in this bathroom was while I was pregnant (and had to pee every 5 mins.) I walked in and thought, "I remembering being in here when I was pregnant. I remember being afraid."

That sums up pretty much every moment of my pregnancy. Afraid.

I walked around as if the ground were broken glass shards and I was wearing stiletto-kitten-healed, soft-bottomed, ballet slippers. Everything, all the time, was me carrying a shawl of "I don't know if I'll be ok." (Physically, equating to emotionally and spiritually.) Every single moment had an undertone of anxiety. At any given second I could have given in and collapsed in a pile tremors. 

So whenever I think, "This reminds me of being pregnant." (This last time.) I mean, "I remember being scared beyond reason in this spot."

Its not really fun to reminisce.

Strangely enough, I can say I miss being pregnant.

Being a women is just hilarious sometimes.

I keep hoping that if we have more kids, I will be sane next time.

I keep thinking that there can't be anything left for me to be afraid of delivery wise. I know I can make it through any version there is. So I'm hoping I will have the majority of my mind free during another pregnancy, as opposed to being busy endlessly fear battling.

I'm feeling more and more open to more kid(s).

Neither of us is saying yes, neither of us is saying no.

But we do say things like "next time."

And I think in my heart, I have more kids to meet.

One thing that had been freaking me out is that I'm realizing I'm an introvert (well I've known that forever) but realizing that: as a mother of small ones there is no way to get sufficient introvert me-time to decompress.

I was getting really bogged down about a month ago, feeling like I just was starting to crumble with two tiny ones and no time to just think quietly..

I googled up anything I could find on being an introvert and a mom.

I found a couple blogs talking about it.

If you feel that weight I'll share the links to what I found. 

I'm still pondering it through myself. (I do think swimming is a nice way for me to get some me-time. No talking while swimming and the endorphins seem to amplify the affect of me-time into a bigger chunk than it actually was. Actually I think there may be something bigger than the me time aspect. I'm really wondering if I personally NEED to work out, like if my personal mold doesn't work with out it. I am a better person the days I swim.)

Anyway,

Here are the couple of blog pots with ideas on the topic I found:

• Mothering as an Introvert
• How to be a Happy Introverted Mom

And one thought that really stuck me personally was that one introvert mom felt it helped her to have 4 kids close in age, because then the kids play with each other more than than the mom.

I had kind of this idea in my mind, but didn't know, and I also was terrified that I would break under the weight of people surrounding me at all times.

Hearing her say this was like a deep breath after holding it.

I realize they are babies first, before they can do this. 

I realize there are lots more opportunities for stress with more going on.

And it's not that I would have more kids to have some sort of convenience for myself ---

 it's that in reading this I felt a fear break off of me.

And I felt something of my heart come to life.

I've been giving a lot of thought to my personality.

In this moment of discovery I re-looked-up my Meyers-Briggs type because I hadn't thought about anything like that in years. And I learned my personality type (INFJ) is counted as the rarest. ha! No wonder I've always felt kinda like the odd ball. Actually, I feel like I answered so many questions about me just in reading the characteristic of my type -- its crazy. Blake was like, "Yep, that's the Lydia I married."

It's given me a bit of freedom too, because once I read about the things I typically do, I kinda felt some freedom to not do them at times. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it kinda felt like permission to take it easy for a little while. And it also helped me not feel so self conscious around other people, because I don't have to think about how I am thinking, I can just do and trust that's ok.

Anyway,

As I keep pondering the more kids thing I know that if we want to have more, I need to be healthy. (I need to anyway, but this is the way my mind references at this point.)

I really depended on my VBAC fears to propel me to health before and during my second pregnancy. Once I VBACed I really floundered in my health convictions. Veggies giving way to sugar. Workouts giving way to just surviving.

I was looking at pregnancy photos and thinking, "Wow I felt so great (physically) there. I think I feel less great right now, while not pregnant."

I did get the pregnancy weight off. But not with much gusto. And then during the holidays I tried to put some of it back on. (Need to remove 2 or 3 more to be free of those pesky boogers.)

And then there is the nagging thought that, I had a little bit more I wanted to lose after having Jasmine and before having Ruby. But I just didn't have it in me then. (41 pregnancy pounds, plus 15 regular pounds after that, was all I could muster in 15 months.) 

I wanted to nestle myself a bit more into the middle of my BMI weight range.

Blake wants to get fit. And so we've been talking about reaching our goal weights in 3 months (by tax day.) Then maybe doing something exciting to celebrate. (Need to come up with an idea.)

Its just hard to emotionally join the game plan.

I'm trying to work through the mess I made when relying on the scale to help me VBAC.

I was praying about my difficulty doing what I know is best for me right now. And I feel like God gave me a good word for me to ponder:

Complacency: self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies (Webster) 

Blake and I were talking about just putting the scale away until April and doing our best at being healthy and just leaving it at that.

I think that's what I need to do. 

I don't think I can look at the scale anymore. Its been 2 and a half years that I've given it. And now I think I need to focus more on why the scale says what it says, and just be healthy.

I saw this picture on pinterest. (Despite my best efforts I don't know where it originated. I can only find it posted on different blogs. So I can't give photo credit, sorry!)

And it really got me pondering lately. How much to I bow to the scale? How much do I think, "Meh, so I've been living off sugar and zero veggies...who cares? I'm not over gaining weight."

But I can feel myself getting less healthy.

I really can. Like I said, I can see how healthy I felt in my pregnancy photos, and I don't feel that way recently.  I may be smaller now than I was then (I mean, I was full of another person, for heavens sake!) but I feel less fit.

I also have some crazy personal hang ups about losing any more weight, like I was be doing it for selfish motives (now that I'm not doing it for the "all noble VBAC")  -- which is really nonsense. But I can't get past it while looking at the scale.

So I think the scale is going to go in the closet for 12 weeks, while we make over our meals and our workouts.

And then no matter what we will be better for it.

And when the scale comes back in April, it will be entertaining to see if the number is smaller, or maybe bigger -- like in that photo.

But we will feel better and will have lived better.

I don't know if I'll really blog about it or not -- but I wanted to mention it, so at least its out there, and I feel less like I have a way out of this decision.

Because its one I need to make.

Not just for my physical health, but also for my emotional wellbeing, I have some baggage I need to dump. 

Diaper Bag Kit

*I've decided to write out things I've learned for my girls later. This post goes in that vein.


I remember googling "What goes in a diaper bag?" when I was pregnant with my Jasmine.
I seriously had no idea.
It seemed really complicated.
And well, it kind of is... if you've never taken care of a baby.
What do babies need?
It was a huge mystery.

But really, its pretty straight forward.
Some diapers, wipes, maybe: some burp cloths, a teething toy, or a snack trap cup, bottles if you need them (you girls won't take bottles,) or a nursing cover /nursing pads when you are just starting to breastfeed and are leaking.
A blanket is nice, but I like to leave yours draped over your carseat carrier. I also like to bring a baby sling/carrier with us -- but I throw that in the car not the diaper bag.
Really organized, well prepared people pack extra outfits (some moms even pack an extra shirt for themselves) -- incase of blowouts, big spit ups, or leaks. Sometimes I remember to do this, but most the time I live dangerously.

I actually think I have to bring more stuff (when going on a short shopping-like errand) with a toddler than a baby.
All that other stuff plus: Big snacks, sippy cups, big toys, and some days Jasmine insists on her own blanket, and sunglasses, and her invisible kitty.


Inevitably there will be days where something happens which requires the one thing you left a home. It will happen to you sometime, no matter how hard you try to prepare.
     I tried to solve the main issues with a little travel bag of essentials. We don't use these thing every time we leave, but they are packed in one place for whenever I end up needing them.

Actually, she was no Houdini

When Jasmine was a baby, I swore she could get out of any swaddle known to man.

 In retrospect, I'm pretty sure I was just not so great at swaddling!

Swaddling is an art.
And like any art, you just have to keep at it to get the feel for it down. Eventually your hands know more than your mind does. And that's where you want to be in the land of good-swaddling.

So,
Something I've learned is:
Don't stop swaddling just because your baby escapes every time you do it.
They aren't actually Houdini.
Practice. Practice. Practice.

(Might be the best idea to practice a lot during the day when they are tiny. That way you aren't trying to sleep during the test runs. And they won't be as strong as they will be later. Get as much practice in as early as possible!)

Also:
DOUBLE SWADDLE!!

The mental video clip played in my mind a couple months ago: A memory long since over looked.
I saw my hands unwrapping Baby Jasmine from her little swaddle-baby-burrito-blob... the one she was handed to me for the first time in. I never really took note (I was pretty out of it) that I had to take two blankets off of her. The nurses had DOUBLE SWADDLED her!!

Yeah, those ladies with massive swaddle skills, they use two! That's part of the magic!
(Why didn't they point that out to me?! And why did no one teach me how to swaddle while I was stuck in bed. :( Sad Hospital fail!)

Since I remembered this, and began double swaddling Ruby, she's been hard pressed to escape.
She can still. But it takes her waking up and really trying in order to.

I've been thinking it through, and I bet Jasmine would have been a better sleeper for us if I had actually swaddled her!
I had given up and just started using a sleep sack to keep her warm really early on.

We keep saying how much better Ruby is at sleeping, but I'm starting to wonder if Jasmine could have been just as good, if she had been cozier, all wrapped up tight.

So girls, just keep on trying, and use two blankets!

Little Foot

While I am on the subject of laundry for babies..

Another thing I have learned is that if you keep your baby socks all together in a mesh bag when you wash them, you won't use one in the washer or dyer.

I only put two in the bag for the photo -- you would actually put all the dirty socks together in there. 

 I just thought it made a better visual aid this way.

You might, however, lose them when your two year old turns them into gloves/hand-puppets and leaves them strewn about the house. :)

But in that mesh bag, they stay safely together, via the buddy system.

*Now, I just need to remember to do the things I've learned. (I've slacked off on this procedure and have the missing socks to prove it. Although there is no real way to say how much is due to laundry, since last night the socks turned in to giraffes on hands. :) )

Also I've heard of some moms doing this same thing as their kids get older, and having one bag for each. Then the kids take their bags of socks, after they are washed and dried, and fold them  -- less sorting. Might be a good idea -- you might see me try it later, girls, get ready. :)

Say What You Need to Say...

Written: 1/10/13

I'm sitting down to write this, with a headache and some very droopy eyes.
This morning is really hard.
Despite going to bed early, I think I got 5 hours of sleep broken up in about 2 hours chunks of time. With morning coming two hours early, when both girls decided 5AM was a good time to get up.
A hard morning, after a hard week.

Blake had a work trip he left for early Sunday morning. And he will come home tonight (Thursday) late. (I'm posting this on Friday, now that he's actually home.)
5 days of parenting 2 small ones on my own.
I know its been done. Done longer and harder than I've done. And boy do I ever applaud those who are regular members of this club. You are STRONG!! 
But this has been a trial for me.

The girls seemed to realize this in their kid radars -- that mommy would be more frazzled this week -- so they must have figured that they should take the opportunity to sleep less and cry more frequently, (preferably both should be crying at the same time) just as soon as Blake was gone.

A friend asked how it was going, later in the week, if the girls had gotten back to normal.

I wrote back: 
"It's getting better. No, actually, I'm getting better. They are still pretty much crying just the same, but I'm learning how to have more peace in it."
Actually, by the end of the week my two year old was waking up (multiple times!) in the middle of the night -- she hasn't woken up at night for a LONG time. So... no, circumstances did NOT improve.

It's not gotten easier. 
But it's gotten smoother. 
My muscles still burn, 
but my hands are starting to know how to turn the sails.

I'm not gonna lie and say I'm feeling great, I'm not, I'm exhausted and can't wait for Blake to get home.
But honestly, I didn't think I could actually make it through a week on my own, and I did! So that's pretty big!
And I have had some precious moments in the mix. 

............................

At the start of the year I got this itch to find a Bible-verse-a-day flip-calendar  
(the official name for these is perpetual calendar).

I have a terrible time getting myself to get into the Bible with any amount of regularity or frequency. Some of it is logistics of motherhood, and some of it is just me not applying myself.
But anyway, I thought this was a nice simple way to get a bit of The Word in me each day -- using one of these.

I wanted something tangible. 
Not an app. I didn't want something that needed electricity. Or something that would ultimately distract me to look at my Facebook or Pinterest account for the billionth time.

I wound up getting this one because it is just bible verses, no commentary or random quotes. Straight Bible -- that's just what I was looking for. 
(I do wish it was cute-er, but whatever. Maybe DaySpring will hire me to trend-a-cize stuff. :) ha!)
I found mine (in the store) at Hobby Lobby. And it was nice that I could use their 40% off coupon on it too!

I so I've had mine for a little less than 2 weeks now.

The first day I had it (before Blake was gone) God showed me something really cool.

It had been a day full of whiny noises and crying sounds , I was about to mommy growl, but God must have put his hand over my mouth and whispered in my ear, “No do this instead” ---

So instead Growling, “GRRRR>>>>would you just stop it!!”

I said in a rather loud and harsh-emotional voice, the verse of that day,
“They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will mount of with wings like eagles they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint.”
Half way through my voice started to soften and break because I could feel His love and grace instead of my anger.
And, I think just because I shocked them, Jasmine stopped whining and Ruby was quite, and Jasmine said, "I don’t want to faint."
And so I got to tell her “We won’t faint if we Hope in the Lord.”

Which lead to talking about baby Jesus, because at Christmas we learned the verse: "For unto us is born this day, in the City of David, a Savior, He is Christ the Lord."( I love hearing her say "Christ the Yord" melts my arms right off.)

And so instead of fainting (which is what was feeling quite close to happening) my strength really was renewed. Our day got a lot better.
It was really surprising to me just how tangible the results were in that moment.

I think that was God preparing me for my week alone with the girls.

I think He needed me to see just how important His Words is, and just how much I would need to cling to it while Blake was away.

I haven't had another moment where the girls instantly were "cured" from my saying a Bible verse out loud. But I will tell you that without focusing on bits of God's voice this week, I would not have made it. I am very grateful that He thought to prepare me in this way.

Here's my little calendar!

It seemed like each day's verse held special meaning for me.
I'm not sure how that works, I think God's word is just that good -- it means something special anytime you need it. 
But the verses did really seem to apply especially well, as I fumbled my way through the week.

Another thing that helped keep me together:
I'm reading this little book called "Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches"
And chapter eight (just where I happened to be) was perfect for me this week.

Short summary: She decided to watch her words -- no more saying she was "overwhelmed" because this was her life now and God gave it to her, so she could handle it. (She had baby twins with two older kids basically still in diapers.) She also talked about being a cheerful giver kinda thing but in doing our job as a mom -- like if you tell two kids to clean their room (and they are totally capable) and one does it, the other falls on the floor saying they are so overwhelmed -- they won't get anything done, but they could if they just made up their mind to. Also she gave herself the 20 min rule -- that everything would be different in 20 mins if she really applied herself. Like she could change 3 diapers and get some to bed and she would just put her nose to the grind instead of crying. She could just look at the clock and say in 20 mins it will all be different.

That was just the kind of clarity I needed this week.
I was really glad I read that when I did.
It saved me from pity-party central.

So,
that's where I've been while not blogging.
Mommying and trying to stay alive.
Missing my husband.
And praying without ceasing (one of my verses of the day.)

But this post can go into the "Things I've learned category": 

Saying a Bible Verse out loud in your hardest mommying moments can do a whole lot for your attitude and dramatically improve your day. Its WAY better than the grumpy-alterinatives.

It can renew your strength. 

Washing Bibs

Ok Girls,

One thing I have learned is,

when you are washing baby bibs with velcro on them, they will always cling to the last thing you want them to!

Most often, in my wash, my underwear. Leaving them more and more frizzy with every attack.

Other clothes have been accosted as well, it's just that lace is an easy victim.

Bibs are wash load predators and will attack the most delicate thing they can get their teeth on!

Sad!

So what I do now is place all the velcro bibs into a mesh laundry bag, to keep them from pestering the rest of the wash load.

And just to be extra safe (as well as extra gentle on them) I place my underwear in a separate laundry bag.

And when I remember to dig out each bib from the hamper, the rest of our stuff stays out of harms way!

And that saves money, by keeping your stuff looking newer longer.

What to do...what to do...

I've been really mulling over what to do with my blog now.
And with the New Year here, it's a good time to make a move.

My blog started out just causal projects I have done.
Then turned into: pouring my heart out, along side pregnancy-health stuff, as I faced my having-a-second-baby fears. ("Please, please, VBAC, please." -- The chant of my heart.)
And now with my blog getting a bit of attention (thank you Pinterest) I sit here and think, what more do I have to say? Who am I now?

And I think I might just have been fighting my strength all the while.

My new focus very much has to do with being a mom.
Also an adult.
And feeling like a mess.

I started out my grown-up-life totally lost.

• I went away to college having never done my own laundry.

• I got married having had grocery shopped only twice (not counting the times I was small enough to ride in the cart).

• So I didn't know how to pick out the grapefruit my husband requested on our grocery list and I circled the citrus fruit for maybe 20 mins trying to figure it out.

• Before adulthood I was messy and never tried to clean. And then I got married and had a house that I wanted to look like Better Homes and Gardens by magic.

And well, I could go on, but let's just say I was lost.
I didn't know how to be a grown up.

I sorta got that under control --- enough to get by anyway.
And then we started our family.
Enter: a whole new level of lost.

Did I ever tell you, I've never been around babies... and very, very, few kids. (Unless you mean when I was the same age as them.)
I don't know what I am doing.

Then emotionally add in the fact that there is the internet -- which make it seem like everyone should be doing everything, and photograph it too!
I get weighed down.

So, basically I am digging my way out as I go along.

I suspect there will be very few days where I feel rested.
I suspect there will be very few times where I feel I got it right.

But I have a goal in mind.
To try and get these hard learned lessons built into my girls (and possible boys, if God gives them.)

That idea sounds hard to me too.
I like to just get stuff done, its hard for me to want to sit there and go slowly along so a child can learn it.
But I want to do that so they can have the blessings of lessons learned early, while its still easy for them.

SO...
where does the blog fall into play with all this?

I'm going to start keeping track of lessons I have learned across the board.
Laundry, cooking, shopping, mommying, what have you.

I'm just going to call it "Things I've Learned."

I don't know if my new focus is going to make anyone else happy.

It may turn out to be incredibly dull.

(You should note that I'm me, and kinda random, so my blog is always going to have many facets and different projects and such, but I'm just talking general focus.)

I like the idea of blogging this stuff for a few reasons.

Having it written down will help me to remember what was hard to learn so I remember to teach it, not just assume its built in knowledge.

And if for some reason I'm not there to tell them, I hope they can still find this blog online and get access to this stuff.

Its really easy for me to forget everything right now. (New mom brain.)

And it will be even easier for this stuff to fade away as time goes by. There are a bunch of questions I have asked my mom and she often says I just can't remember. So I want to put it down while its still happening.

And maybe, just maybe, if I write this stuff down now while it is happening and I am {somewhat} young and possibly still perceivable as cool (ha, do kids ever think their parent's are cool?) maybe my kids will believe me when I tell them stuff instead of just writing me off as an old fuddy duddy? (Mm. I think this thought is too good to be true.)  It will at least mean something to them once they are adults and see I'm not just crazy that real life does happen. :)



Also, the idea of writing to my children on my blog is so much more appealing to me than trying to write to the masses. The internet is too big, and people are too diverse for me to really say what people I don't know need to hear. I like knowing my audience.

That being said I like the idea of leaving this stuff online, because maybe someone will like it -- maybe someone who feels like I did/do will find some ideas to help get them integrated into adulthood. Unless of course, I'm the only one who is this lost, and therefore all this stuff will just be common sense to everyone reading (or no-longer-reading-due-to-boredom.)

I'm not sure society is remembering to teach Home Ec to us any more -- we all got too excited about life outside the home.
And so much of the media (like reality TV) is doing nothing but give us very strange impressions of what's "normal."
(Like having more affluence than can generally be expected, and therefore not needing to do your own cooking, cleaning and laundry. Getting to go to red carpet events? Or at least dressing like you do.)

I think more people are lost on how to be an adult than would let on. (And a lot have let on, to me.)

I'm not at all addressing the idea of stay at home mom vs working mom -- we all live at home.
And we need to know how to keep our head above water there.

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I loved looking at the photos of old Home Ec classes to find something for this post. Call me crazy, but I am jealous of all the stuff that used to be regularly taught in those classes. I know a lot of women might have seen it/ currently see it as sexist or degrading --- I'm not trying to say women should only be home makers, I just would have loved to been better prepared for the everyday stuff of life.

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I mean look at that -- Mad Men style ironing class! How awesome is that? Its like everyone used to be Martha Stewart just by going to school.

No longer, my friend, no longer.

So that's where many of my posts are going to focus now.
A sort of Home Ec type curriculum, if you will.
For my girls.

I doubt I will actually do anything like "How to iron" but maybe. Just stuff I've learned the hard way.
It's not exactly Home Ec -- but close enough.

I hope it might be a blessing to someone else too.
But if not, I know it will bless our family.

I also hope you don't take anything I write on this topic too personally, because like I've said, its for my girls, based on our family, so if it doesn't make sense in your life just brush it off. The internet is just too big for me, I don't like how easy to is to offend people, so I preemptively say please feel free to ignore me and live in peace.

P.S. Yes I still have a bit more pregnancy health posts brewing in the brain. So stick around for those too! I'm not totally through all that!