31 Weeks Pregnant with #3

This week I’m actually feeling a lot better. I still get nauseous. And still, my least favorite thing in the world to do is feed the girls because it requires me to handle foods I don’t want to see when I don’t want to see food. And... occasionally I still can’t think of any foods I want to eat myself. BUT after 8 months of dealing with nausea, I think I’m just getting used to it and taking it in stride. It’s kinda like Steve Urkel.  I’m used to him, I definitely enjoy my time when he’s gone, but I can handle it when he asks me out for the 1,000th time... he’s just to be expected.

But the nausea is much improved, much of the time, though. (Just not gone.)
This week I’ve started to crave hamburgers, and I’m taking that as a major victory. It’s meat. And I crave it! It’s kind of mind-blowing. It’s giving me hope for eating a bit more healthily by the end of this journey. Not that hamburgers are a staple of health -- but I feel pretty pumped about it.


I will say, one good thing I’ve started to arrive at through this pregnancy’s hardness is a deeper, real-er peace with being me. I was writing a friend about how before I got married I felt pretty much oblivious to what other’s thought about my choices, and I felt very confident in doing what worked for me. But after getting married, and then even worse after having kids, I felt this crazy infiltration into my brain of what others thought and how they thought I should be doing things. And I let that make me feel guilty whenever I did anything because I was sure I was failing. I HATE failing. So this brings me a lot of stress, basically nonstop.
Having to be pressed up against this wall of “I can’t do it any better than I’m doing it” by this pregnancy, has made me stop and look at this habit and kinda deal with it.
I’m not fixed. It’s still super tempting to try and compare myself to others and feel concern for if I’m doing it right. But I’m coming to a better peace on "just do(ing) it” without apology.
Last week, writing out what I’ve been eating this through this pregnancy made me feel very much like I needed to defend myself. (Defend myself against my own ideals, against the many different food school of thoughts, against healthy people in general…) But after having it written out and exposed it gave me a chance to think. And that thinking has made me feel a lot more confident going forward in life just doing my best and what works for me/us without apologizing because there isn’t a right or wrong on this stuff. (I’m pretty sure you get what I’m saying, but since this is written and it’s the internet -- to clarify: I’m not saying I want to be unhealthy. I am saying in the case of food: there are different views on what is the right way to eat, and you can’t adhere to all of them or you’d outlaw every food on earth and die. (You can’t go Paleo, and be a vegan, and do Atkins all at once. And that’s just SOME of the food schools out there.) And sometimes your body literally won’t do what you want it to do -- like eat much of anything. Or say, run a marathon when your leg is broken. So in general, you have to go with what works for you at the current moment. And if there isn’t anything truly wrong with your choices, other than it not being perfect (and nothing is perfect), or it not being someone else’s ideal, there isn’t a need to apologize. And I’m starting to feel less bad/not guilty about that.)

I’ve had all these thoughts before. But this pregnancy is kinda forcing them into being real. This week I’ve really started to embrace them and really actually started to feel that way. It’s just like a calmness instead of stress. I’m not sure how to keep it in place forever -- especially when spending time around anyone who has very strong feelings about random stuff and how it’s “right.” But I think I’m just starting to feel ok with brushing that off and not doing anything more than being ok with me. (I hope to do this without pressing on other’s sense of self. Some of that’s not in my hands, but for the part that is, I hope I can do it well. I think if it comes from a peaceful place, it will flow out peacefully.)

And I have this hard pregnancy to thank for that. It pushed me into that spot and held me down until I said “uncle.” And now that I’m here I can’t say that I mind. It’s gonna be good for me to have that sensation in place as I go through the rest of this motherhood journey, as well as just being a person.

 

I think this not apologizing for being me, is applying to my body image as well.
     You know how sometimes you have thoughts that are just going, that you aren’t really thinking? I had one the other day, I must have seen a beach on a commercial or something. And I thought something like, “That will be fun once I feel better in a swim suit.” But I didn’t feel like I thought it -- it was a sound in my head. And when I heard it I though, “Well that’s just silly. When I finally get my butt to the beach I’m having fun no matter what I look like." If I didn’t have this motion sickness going on I’m sure me, and the girls, and Granana would have been to the beach a few times by now (probably not swimming -- Lake Michigan is still freezing I’m sure.) So once my body gives a green light to live again, I’m living! And that’s that. I don’t care if I’m toned, I’m feeling good and that’s good. I’m really ready to celebrate just the general simplicities of life without the fear that I’m not doing it well enough.


I don’t know if that mentality is playing into this next thought or not. But I’ve been shocked that so far in this pregnancy, not a single person has said to me something about “being ready to pop” yet. The last two times, as soon as I hit 7 months strangers started asking stuff like “Are you due now?", and would look shocked when I said how long I have left.
      I’m prone to say I’ve avoided it so far this time, due to the fact I rarely leave the house during this pregnancy. But I have been trying to make it to stores alone in the evening , maybe once a week ,or every other week, just to get out for a while now. So I have been seen, and have made conversation about my belly -- yet no one seems shocked when I say “June or July.” And actually the other night I got some nice compliments from random ladies.
    I came home and told Blake (because I was confused on why no one is doing the norm of “wow you are huge” comments.) And he said I don’t look that big this time.
     I don’t understand this. I’ve been comparing the pictures and I think I look about the same. And I know I weigh more now than in that picture last time. It’s a mystery to me. So maybe it is that I’m carrying myself less self consciously. Maybe I’ve mastered dressing for pregnancy better than before. Maybe I’m rockin the third time around confidence -- not giving off the “Holy Cow I’m so pregnant!” vibe because I know what “so pregnant” is.  Or maybe it really just is that I don’t leave the house enough anymore. I don’t know. It’s just something I’ve noticed.
(Watch I’ll have jinxed it now, the next time I leave the house 15 people will insist I’m pregnant with triples, due yesterday.) (But I’ll still have that 7th month without it this time. It’s just sometime to take note of.)


All that said, I haven’t hit a zen place or anything like it, this pregnancy. This week I still cried and got stressed out. I let one too many things get to me at the same time and felt like the world was crashing (for the millionth time.) But the nice part is I haven’t lived this week in that spot.

One thing that stressed me out was baby was feeling breech to me again. I was getting lots of bladder kicks -- not finger wiggles. And while I was logically ok with it -- emotionally it was just getting me to that spot where nothing feels right until that’s fixed -- kinda like “hangry”emotions. It was messing with the way I processed anything.

This week it took more than just a 30 second inversion to fix it (like last time.) I did a few inversions a day, for a few days, and still didn’t think I fixed it. So then one night Blake ran to get us Chinese food, and while he was gone I stuck our ironing board on the couch, stopped it up against a heavy chair, and crazily climbed on it and laid upside down on my back. (You can google “Ironing Board Breech” and find pics if you don’t know what I’m talking about.) This was pretty stupid to do when alone -- it’s not so easy to accomplish, and even harder to get out of. Our chinese place is like 5 mins away, so I knew Blake would be right back. But I was pretty stuck. (I was also nervous I was gonna misshapen our ironing board with my hefty self, but it proved stronger than I thought it was.) When he came in he was like “Woah! What are you doing!?” (Being a guy’s not privy the the crazy newsletters us women seem to get in the mail on subjects like laying on ironing boards. He had no clue why I was doing that.) And after he helped me up he was sad he didn’t take a picture to show off the crazy stuff he comes home to. :) Then I continued to prove myself crazy by eating much of my meal on my hands and knees.

But I’m pretty positive it all paid off since I feel kicks by my ribs once more.
(Ok baby, it’s time to let mommy have a sanity break -- stay put!)
(I still have time before it matters, 36 weeks is when it’s kinda a "to-do" -- but you know…I’d like to avoid ironing boards from here on out.)

Anyway,
I don’t feel like I’ve done anything this week in general.
I’ve definitely hit the sleepy part of pregnancy.
I get to the afternoon and my eyes just start rolling back in my head. The sleep is unfightable. Thankfully the girls are good about letting me catch a cat nap on the couch.

I’ve been stalking IKEAs website trying to make sure I know exactly what I’m buying when we make it up there. I’m doing my classic over-thinking-process.

And I guess what I have gotten done this week is that bathroom light. Well Blake did much of that work too.

That was kinda a crazy adventure.
If you feel like reading, here it is:

I had bought a cheap thrift store light and gave it a makeover.

I figured it would be ok. But once it was up I just couldn’t handle a bit of it’s nuances. So I took back the glass shades I bought for it. Then I found 3 other ones for $0.80 at the thrift -- with plans to sell the thing on craigslist. I’ve spent $9 on it total. So I figure I can make at least that much on it to just wash the whole event off my hands. (If not, well it’s just $9, I guess.)
So then I had to set out to find a new light I liked.
This (since it’s me we are talking about) was really hard. I felt like all vanity lights looked pretty much the same. And it felt dumb to pay a lot more for something that looked very, very similar to what I already had. And Pinterest-glory bathrooms don’t even use the over-the-mirror lights -- they are all about the side sconces. And I don’t have room on the sides of my mirror. So pinterest wasn’t helping me.

Actually, here’s the other thing about the bathroom. I had  wanted to switch out the mirror to this pretty octagon mirror (craigslist find.) But the mirror in there is tiled around. And at first I thought I was willing to work with the tile and fix it all for the sake of a mirror. But eventually reality set in, and I decided I’m not. It’s old tile, I won’t find an exact match. It’s an old mirror. I have no clue what the wall under it looks like. It just seems too much. So I conceded to stick a frame on it and call it a day.

That added a layer of confusion to the whole process. I had to find the trim I wanted for the frame, and then see how that would fit around the mirror, so we knew where to place the new light.

For the mirror frame, I wound up finding some very pretty, thick, maple boards at an architectural salvage store here. (If you have anything like that or a ReStore by Habitat for Humanity -- always check there -- you can find WAY cooler wood for a much better price than big box stores.) I got more feet than I needed for $20. One piece of trim at Menards was running about that much, and it wasn’t anywhere near as thick or pretty.

I thought I knew which vanity light I wanted after online shopping. But when I got to the store, right next to it was a different one that caught my eye. After much debate. (And getting side tracked by a third. Which I love but doesn’t fit the right vibe.) I pulled the trigger and got this one.

I think it’s perfect.

 I think it actually looks different than most vanity lights. It’s got a more individual shape. So that made me feel like it was worth it. But more importantly -- all along I had been hoping for something that was kinda glamourous without feeling gaudy or too “try hard.” Part of me had really been hoping to find something chandelier-crystal-ish. But most were too intense for what I really wanted. (And crazy expensive.) This is our only bathtub-bathroom. And I told ya how I love to take baths, so I wanted something kinda spa, kinda pretty-princess... but something that doesn’t reek of that. I had basically given up on that dream -- I didn’t know how that could be achieved.
But this light (link to it) hits it out of the park for me. Those clear beads are just enough glamour to get me that mild chandelier vibe. And the arm shape is just enough princess. But I don’t think it reeks of it.

And once I get the frame on the mirror I think it’s all gonna come together in a blaze of glory.

//Light Source Link//

Anyway. Before we got the light installed…poor Blake….I told him the electrical box he worked so hard on (and put in the spot I approved) wasn’t in the right place now -- for this light and the mirror frame. So he had to move it again. This of course left two holes in the drywall to be fixed. So after he got the electrical done and some drywall in place. I did the mudding, sanding and painting.
Essentially it took us two weeks to get this silly light switched out. And that was really annoying because we had a floor lamp in the room and drywall dust on stuff, and the girls had to brush their teeth in our bathroom (which was also dark because it’s on the same breaker switch.) But it was so worth it to me! This morning Blake had the light wired back up and I cleaned up the bathroom. And let me tell you, every time we get a room close to done I can feel my brain and soul clear up and breathe. I love the feeling.

The only things left in this bathroom are to get some new flooring down. (I think we are going with this.)  

And I’d like to install shelves over the toilet. And then the bathroom is gonna be awesome. Oh and I’d like a new faucet on the sink.(Thinking this one.)
     Someday I do wanna paint the vanity. I’m thinking white. But might wind up going with something fun like turquoise. And I’d like to paint the closet’s insides white (it’s strangely yellowish off-white now.) And I might wanna do a design on the walls. But those are all perks.
I HOPE we get the floors and shelves before baby comes. I think my parents are gonna come help next month and help us get some of these projects checked off the list for my Nesty McNesterson self. I’m very excited about that!

30 Weeks Pregnant with #3

This is a long rambling post -- read at your own boredom risk. :)


I’ve been watching spring arrive this year differently than I ever have. After such an incredibly hard winter (inside my body -- the weather wasn’t too terrible for here this year), seeing the snow melt was such a relief --- knowing I was actually getting closer to my due date. And now watching the world come alive -- flowers in the trees and across the street in my neighbor’s lovely yard. And seeing everything all around green-up is so inspirational. I don’t even really have it in me to make deep analogies about it. It just is what it is. New life, and that’s enough. I can’t stop looking at it. I can’t stop being grateful for it. And I am encouraged by it’s presence. And I love knowing I’m getting closer to putting this hard stuff behind me. We are almost to May, and technically I’m due in June -- so 2 months left to get through. It’s nice to be in that time frame finally.

This has been a big week.
It’s been a much less nauseous week, which will explain how I was able to do any of this stuff. But to say I feel good would be a lie. I feel a lot better, which is good.
I still get nauseous, often around the late afternoon or evening. I still have a hard to finding foods I want to eat.

As far as what I’ve been eating over all this pregnancy. Some have asked.
Well, lets be honest. Pure unhealthiness. Not because I want to. Not because I think it’s a good idea. Just because anything that is a good idea is unthinkably nauseating.
Meat is still really hard to eat. I eat it sometimes, because I know I need to get protein and iron, but it’s not enjoyable. And I only do this when it’s not gonna really mess me up physically and emotionally. There are many times where I just can’t even look at it without wanting to cry (because it’s making me sick.)
I have started to tolerate salads, so I eat those sometimes -- crave those sometimes. So that’s kinda a nice thing I have going. But I usually don’t want to round it out with anything (besides salad dressing) like meat, so I know protein isn’t really getting in me enough. But I’m doing what I can.
The most consistent thing I’ve eaten this pregnancy is: my lunch is very very often a super strange pregnancy concoction. An insane burrito, made of a flour tortilla filled with a hot dog and white rice, just covered in pickled jalapeños. I have no idea why. It’s ridiculous.
I also keep eating spicy stuff this pregnancy. This baby will have no chance of getting spiced out at the end -- because they will be so used to spice. (Not that I was able to spice either of my others out anyway.) It’s another paradox -- you would think with being so sick that spicy things would be avoided. But it’s like I must cover everything in some sort of hot sauce, red pepper flakes or jalapeños. I can’t figure it out. Generally I enjoy spicy foods, but this is a new level of it.
Often I have frozen pizza for dinner. This embarrasses me because I know it’s not a good idea, that it is NOT healthy. But by the end of the day I know I need to get some food in me to both stay alive and to somewhat alleviate the nausea, and every other food I consider makes me want to cry. So I put in the frozen pizza and tell myself it has protein in the cheese and toppings.
And while I have tried not to abuse it, ice cream has generally been an actual nausea cure for me. As in if I eat it, I get a break from constant stomach aches. And when you live in actual pain for months on end, getting a physical break from it via ice cream is something I sign up for. Judge if you must -- but I’m not gonna feel bad about it.

I’ve read plenty of stuff online that would tell me I’m causing this cycle of bad eating: bad pregnancy eating causing nausea, causing bad eating causing more nausea.  I’m not ever going to believe that. If that were true, well for one thing I wouldn’t have been able to get rid of my nausea in my other pregnancies. (Because I ate what didn’t make me wanna throw up in those first trimesters as well, but it went away in my second and never came back, so then I ate better.) Also if this theory was true then  when I ate meat and veggies, I could eat more meat and veggies since I was curing myself -- in reality I feel terribly sick after eating those. And if this theory were true, the cure to stomach aches would not be icecream. Those that adhere to this will never believe me because they didn’t get inside my body. I’m sure they would say I didn’t try hard enough. And I’m gonna just have to be ok with that. I’m gonna have to just give myself permission to be different then them. I’m working on avoiding guilt on top of the physical hardship.

I’m just telling you guys all this to be honest, not to get ideas on fixing it. To be really real with you guys, no one is gonna convince me of anything at this point. Cures or causes. If you look at my second pregnancy you can see what level of strength I’m capable of.
     But in the face of this pregnancy, I’ve had to take a new stance on being strong. I’ve had to just come to terms with the fact that if I was able to do that great last time... then this time is actually this freakishly hard. I’m not being wimpy or imagining things. So I just have to roll with how hard this is, just eat what I eat, and say, “Come what may.”
     I hope to try and eat a tiny bit better in a couple more weeks when baby starts to gain a half pound a week (on average) (which kicks in at 33 weeks) to attempt not to have an enormous newborn. But I can’t promise I’ll feel like I can eat much better than I have been. So I’m gonna trust my body won’t make a baby that’s too big to get out.
     I’ve gained about one pound a week this pregnancy -- first trimester included. So if I go to 42 weeks* again this will probably be the pregnancy I gain the most weight for.

Photo note: You probably can’t even tell -- but I couldn’t find my normal black photo dress today -- this one looks slightly different in person (fun one-side-only ruche over part of the belly) but in the picture looks about the same. I was too lazy to find my normal one. Also I was too tired to put on make up or try to smile. I almost did the phone over face photo -- but well here ya go.

(Pregnancy #1 I gained 41 pounds. Pregnancy #2 I gained 32 pounds.) In those pregnancies I seemed to throw on a good 5 or 6 pounds really quickly at the end, like during one week at the end there, no matter what I was doing, which got me to those totals. So well see what happens this time.
Thankfully I’m not starting this pregnancy at the same weight I did the first. So I should have couple less pounds to drag around at the end, I hope.
*BUT remember I’d love it if you could pray this baby comes at 38 weeks. I know every momma ever, would rather have baby come out a bit early than late. But this momma is just really asking for those prayers on it. This pregnancy has been wearing me out through the entire ride. And I feel like having already done two 42 week long pregnancies is enough for me. 38 weeks could average us out a bit on the pregnancy time-line board.
I just keep telling myself,  "I lost the weight before, I’ll do it again."
I also keep telling myself that even with the weight difference, both of those times I had lost the pregnancy weight by 5 months out. It might take me longer this time because, well life…I’m older and I have more kids = less time. But the idea that it happened at the same time both postpartums, gives me some confidence that it’s doable, even if this pregnancy isn’t going according to my healthy ideals.

Honestly, I’m really not looking forward to losing the baby weight all over again. It’s so much work. And just thinking about it makes me tired. But I’m trying to prep my mind for a happy postpartum. I think after this pregnancy, I will be so happy to not be pregnant, and so proud of myself for making it through this extreme challenge that I will be really happy with my body. Clearly I might feel differently when flooded by that hormonal shift, but for now, I can imagine being the most gentle with myself and the most kind to myself, after this pregnancy. I’m kinda preemptively envisioning my smooshy body and being proud of it and just dressing it without shame. I kinda feel like once this baby comes out, I’d gladly wear the fitted pregnancy shirts and dresses as like a “Heck yeah I just totally lived to tell about it, check it (the left over belly) out. I’m wearing this with no shame as a medal of honor. I’ve never worked that hard in my life. I’m so happy to have made it through." (I hope I actually feel that way later.) (If I don’t wear the fitted shirts, I still hope I feel that strength.)


Anyway, lets move on to some happy stuff from this week.

I got an enormous amount done on the house this week! I think it’s a lot to have gotten done, even if I wasn't pregnant. But it’s a freakish amount to have gotten done after being so immobilized for so long.
(I don’t think I took many in-progress pictures because I was just full steam ahead.)

My mom came over at the end of the week and while she was here we knocked out pretty much all the painting I needed to finish here!
Night one, after the girls were in bed we painted the cooking part of the kitchen. (Dogwood Blossom --White-ish. To match the eating part of the kitchen.)
The walls in there were kinda crazy again. If you recall, the last time I painted in there the wallpaper glue (which I tried diligently to wash off) made the paint glob up really bad. (It got better after the first coat dried.) But even this time, the paint acted differently than normal. It kinda globed up a bit, and it looked really uneven on the wall until it dried. So it wasn’t the most fun room to paint. But it’s painted now. And I’m loving it.
It’s not a major shift in color from the green-gray it was to the cream-white it is. But I just find it much more appealing. I’ll be leaving it this way for a LONG time.*

(The rest of the kitchen is too messy for photos -- And I’m too tired to bother today.)

Flash back fun:

*If I haven’t mentioned it on the blog -- our goal for the kitchen is to eventually take that wall out which is separating the eating space from the cooking space. And initially I thought we would do that right away. But turns out, the rest of the house kept us pretty busy. :) And at this point I’m ready for a major break from renovating. So I’m thinking once the kids are in highschool we will be ready to do a major kitchen over haul. (Take the wall down, change out the flooring, since it doesn’t match from room to room, new cabinets etc.) So for the time being I’m planning out ways to rock what we got. I’m not in a big hurry on most of it. Like I’m imagining painting the cabinets when baby is one year old or so. We’ll see.

After we got the kitchen painted, I moved into painting the hallway upstairs while my mom played with the girls. I got one coat on. And technically I still need to do a second. But wow does it look good -- not haunted anymore.

Before paint (after wallpaper removal)

After

The impact of it seems small from the entryway because the tall walls and stairs are still scary.

(The strange electrical cord going up there and the floor lamp up there will be explained later in this entry -- Blake’s working on the bathroom light.)

But when you are just walking the hallway up there -- so much nicer.

I’ve stared at those scary, messy, haunted-house walls for so long long that I’m still in total denial that this isn’t actually all a dream -- that those walls really are painted.

A few days after my mom left I mustered up some more strength to paint the living room. I painted most of it Sunday night after the girls were in bed. Till I ran out of paint at midnight. 

Do I look good, or do I look good?

Monday the girls and I ran to Lowes to get more. (Valspar’s Swiss Coffee white.) And when we got home Ruby took a nap and Jasmine worked on this really cute book idea she came up with all on her own  --the life cycle of a butterfly -- we printed out pictures of each stage, she colored and cut it out and glued it into a paint color sample booklet we took home from Lowes. I was quite impressed with her initiative and creativity. So she did that while I put on a second coat of paint. After they went to bed, I went back and did the edges.

Speaking of that butterfly book.

I know I blogged before about us starting home school. And some people have been asking me how that’s been going. In short -- it’s not. We've gotten through about 3 units so far (which equals 3 weeks, but we did that spread out.) Which is Nothing since we started in January. But I’ve just been too out of it to try. I figure it’s not a big deal she’s not even 5 yet, we get to it after baby comes. (I know, then we will have a new set of reasons to put it off -- but at least I won’t feel like death then. I’m pretty sure newborns feel like a walk in the park compared to this pregnancy.) Sometimes we read books. Right now we are in the middle of “The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.”(She loves it.) But Jasmine is a very self motivated learner. So she’s been keeping herself busy with learning to write her name and her sister’s name just because she wants to. And doing workbooks because she wants to. And projects galore. Like her butterfly book, because she wants to. She’s also picking up math skills like crazy (I’m giving that to Peg+Cat, not me) but she’s seriously like shocking me with her math statements she makes randomly. So I guess for now we are unschooling. It seems to be working for all of us for now. I’ll happily role with it.

Anyway -- back to the fact that I painted the living room (while Jasmine unschooled herself. lol) :
I’m LOVING the room white. (Which is kinda killing me because I feel like, “Man how easy would it have been to start with with white? What was I thinking doing anything else?!?”) But the room feels so much nicer. 

Flash back fun:

Ok not a huge impact in (iphone) photos between the purple gray and the Swiss Coffee -- but in person -- glorious!

Bigger and cleaner and so much more appealing and welcoming. It looks great with the floors. It looks great with the paino. 

It looks great with the fireplace. I’m so into it.

(I plan to spray paint our fireplace cover black soon.)

I’m so into it I’m starting to wonder why I didn’t paint EVERYTHING in the whole house white. But I keep telling myself that wouldn’t have been as great to me in reality. I think I just love second guessing myself as a whole.

I need to go back and caulk our baseboards (I started but ran out.) And the baseboards were painted before they were installed, but they need to be touched up after being nailed in.

Also remember that some day we want to add woodwork to the walls and paint that white. So more awesomeness to come in this room….someday.

Next up, try to get myself to Ikea for living room furniture.

Anyway, after finishing painting the living room last night, I could barely function today. Like my eyes wouldn’t open without having a hideous death grimace due to the fact that not a single cell in my body was ready to get out of bed (for about a week.) I’m kinda back to queasy today. And my belly feels like it weighs about 50 pounds and sorta just feels like a nonstop contraction when I get up. (I don’t think it’s really a contraction -- just super exhausted weirdness. My third trimester body is needing a major break right now. I took a pay day advance on my energy levels to get this stuff done. I need a break to even things out again.

I think I pressed so hard because I was worried I wouldn’t have it in me later, as I get bigger, to finish these rooms. And my nesting wasn’t about to hear of that. I had to push hard when I had the chance, to make sure these things were done. And now I will rest a bit.

There are plenty of other projects I can do before baby comes.

Actually we are mid switching out our bathroom light fixture in our bathtub-main-bathroom. (Getting rid of the Hollywood light strip that came with the house.)

But poor Blake -- of course the task is harder than it should have been. They installed it so the electrical box off center of anything. So he’s moving the electrical box and stuff’s been in the way, or things haven’t fit where they should, bla bla bla. So the bathroom’s been a mess for a couple days instead of a couple hours. (Isn’t that always the way?) So once that get’s fixed, I’ll mud the wall and hide the old hole, and paint it all goodbye. So that’s next on the list.
     I’m really excited about the new light because Blake was good enough to install a light dimmer switch in there, per my request. I’m a nightly bath-taker. It helps me relax from the day and get ready to sleep. So I’m excited that I’ll now have the option to take a bath with low-lighting. (I sound like a drama queen bath diva. But I don’t care. It’s gonna be awesome.) I’m hoping the light fixture looks ok. I gave a $5 thrift store light a makeover -- all said and done it came to about $20. So not like super duper cheap -- but cheaper than most new lights. And of course I can always sell it off and get a new one later if I’m not feeling it. (I’ll show you it once it’s up.) I know I’ll like it more than the hollywood light strip! That’s for sure.

Blake’s also been going through the last of our old gross outlets and putting in fresh white ones. I’m such a sucker for details like this. They just make everything amazing in my world.

Yes, for some reason these were in upsidedown!

(I guess technically there is no right direction to install these --

 but don’t tell me that. We all know there is a right way.)

So yeah, after that stuff but before baby comes, that I need to do some major organizing.
And on the house fixing: we still need to tackle the flooring in our upstairs bathrooms. Our sunroom needs help. Our entryway needs HELP.
Also I have tons of furniture I want to makeover.
So I’m not done with the house. But as far as it being a house -- like a real house without terror inducing walls -- I think I’ve crossed the line into “yay this is a house” this week! (Just don’t look up into the entryway when you walk in.) And that is awesome. I feel like my nesting hormones can sigh a deep sigh of relief.



Anyway, life events:
One more thing I did this week was Friday night while my mom was here Blake and I went to  an awards banquet at the university for Blake’s work. I haven’t been out at night in a long time. I thankfully did not feel queasy for this event. But what’s funny is, after having been sick for this long, I feel like I suddenly showed up third-trimester-pregnant without knowing it. I’ve been so busy feeling awful that I hardly knew it was because I was pregnant. So having missed a second trimester, I just feel really thrown off. I felt really conspicuous in that environment of either college students (getting awards) or professors and staff. I felt very clearly out of my league there. Not like I felt bad about it -- but I was just really really aware of it. I felt like my belly could do nothing but garner attention in this environment. (Very much the only baby-belly around.) And I also felt very aware of how I couldn’t just slip through the crowds of people making it hard to walk around -- I needed to plan my route so I could move without knocking into everyone.
I also felt really silly while trying to make conversation that night I because I became VERY aware of how little I’ve been around people these last nearly 8 months. It was really hard for me to focus on anything besides my body. Every time I was almost focused on what someone was saying, the baby would kick me and divert my attention. Or I’d have a contraction. (Those were my first real noticeable contracts of this pregnancy --so they totally took my attention. I think I had two or three that night.) Or I’d be thinking “Wow if I was at home right now I’d be in a really crazy hands and knees position -- NOT sitting in this chair. Wow can’t I just go animalistic and just do whatever I want instead of be socially correct -- this body doesn’t like these rules.” Or I’d realize I was incredibly thirsty. Or I’d be mentally guarding my bladder from baby bonks while it was hoping I’d take a 7th trip to the bathroom.
I had no idea if I was making crazy faces through our conversations as all these things distracted me from what was going on.
Essentially I feel very, very out of place around civilized people right now. I just kinda wanted to sign up for “bard yard” and have everyone be ok with that. Which I found interesting -- since perhaps in my first two pregnancies I spent my time fighting that thought and insisting “no I’m a normal person. I ‘m not changed by this.” Where as this third time around, I’m ready to ship myself off as “pregnant werido on the farm, crawling around on the ground.” I’m super impressed by women who work while pregnant. It’s not as easy as they make it look.


And in baby news.
Baby feels head down still to me. Not that I’m a pro. But I do feel rather confident in stuff this time around.
Baby is getting strong.
Ruby felt the baby move for the first time this week. (Jasmine has been more patient in waiting for it, so she’s been feeling the baby for a while now.) It was funny when Ruby felt it, she immediately yelled loudly, “He’s kickin!!” (Pronouns aren’t our strong point yet, she insists baby is a girl.) And then didn’t want to address the subject at all anymore. No matter what I said about the baby, she just kept on changing the subject to something else. So I’m not sure what she thought about the experience. It sorta seemed to overwhelm her.


I’ve been thinking about this baby’s personality -- movement wise. And so far I’d label them as mellow. They don’t seem to have a set pattern to when they are active. But when they are moving it’s not crazy, just kinda pushing out a bit. Only rarely do they seem to really give a swift kick. So lets be honest -- I’m hoping that means mellow calmness outside the womb -- and lots of sleep. Time will tell. We will see!

Living Room Design Plans

I’ve bemoaned the hardness of figuring out our living room’s design potential in the past. But I think I have finally solved the puzzle. (And my third trimester nesting urge is kicking in hard, so I’m feeling some extreme pull towards at least some execution of the plans.)

For a brief overview, it’s tricky because it’s long and narrow.

(These photos are crazy, because the room has been crazy since we lived here. The goal is to reach un-crazy!)

 It has doorways on each end of the room on the south wall, and a french door going into the sunroom, taking up most of the east wall. (The doors open up into this room.)

 And a fireplace in the middle of the north wall -- which honestly is kind of an odd scale next to a lot of furniture pieces I’ve tried in the room. It’s so flat to the wall, without really being flat that it makes many a piece seem uncharacteristically bulky next to it.

 From the entryway looking in.

It currently has no over head lighting either. We improved the natural light situation by taking down the awning outside the window.
But I had been having the hardest time committing to a color choice for the walls, since it turns out I hated my first choice. (Too purpley.)

(No where near as much as the original yellow…but still.)

So I pondered in deep thought, with immense amounts of pinterest and blog researching. Getting nowhere for a LONG confused time. And Blake and I getting on and off of color agreements repeatedly.

Then, one glorious day, one picture I saw on Pinterest united us.

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This is clearly an entryway. But we can see it’s essence in our living room.

What we are getting out of this picture is: the walls are white, and are detailed in pretty woodwork. And the ceiling is where the color is at.

I could get on board with this general idea because, prior to this picture, no matter what color I had tried to envision the walls, it seemed like it would look crazy from the entryway. And since this room is the first thing you see when you come in it always felt wrong. 

White admittedly feels right for the space.

And since you can’t see the ceiling until you get into the room, the entryway view wouldn’t be affected…. and a surprise color in the room would be fun.

I’m normally a white ceiling kinda girl (especially on boring 8’ ceilings), but in this case, it feels pretty meant-to-be for me to flip-flop my norms.

 

Also I’ve painted our french doors black, so it’s got the black door vibe already.

(It will need crown moulding to get us there.)

 

To be honest, I guess because I am so much a white ceiling girl -- part of me is getting a bit nervous about the ceiling and color. I don’t want it too feel too cheesy. And to me the blue in this picture is ok, but if we aren’t careful it might wind up just a bit too chipper for me. I might want just a bit more of an angsty, pale, dirty, minty-aqua. (That description is stunning! lol. But I just don’t want overly happy robin’s egg blue -- I feel like that would be too shocking for the space. ) I’m still not sure I’m gonna pull the trigger on it exactly. But overall this picture still holds our main inspiration. And I just might have to try and break free of my regular-ness for this space, since it is an irregular kind of space.

The way we want the woodwork on the walls is still very much up for debate in my mind. I’m pinning different rooms for ideas, but have to nail down just which way is right for us.

This one feels almost trendy (in a way), and not quite how I see this room. But I still like it.

This would be simple but effective. 

It could perhaps make the room feel taller (although this room IS clearly taller than ours.) 

And side note, Blake I’m sure would LOVE how dark this ceiling is. 

He’s got his vote down for dark. I just don’t know if we get enough light to support that nicely. Especially without those great tall ceilings.

This very traditional look on the walls is where I am heavily leaning. 

(Source links can be found on my pin board here.)

My goal for the room is for it to be very staunch and traditional at it’s barebones. But with our furnishings for it to go the other way, turning into a funky musicians’ play space. 

Via

I love this space’s take on that idea. And I want to pull it off in our own way.

We plan to hang Blake’s guitars on the wall. I think he has like 7? We have our piano in there now. And a big black amp. 

So it won’t look like that picture (I’m not gonna achieve as much grandeur, due to them starting at a cooler level of architecture overall) -- but at the core, I want this sort of essence to come through.

As far as layout is concerned that was hard. 

The room really is too narrow to float much in the middle of the room. I’ve tried. And it just feels crowed and hard to walk around.

It was tight getting into the room like this. Couches closer together feels strange.

 Especially with the piano in the mix. (It’s location is really the only technically sound place for a piano in that room, for tuning purposes. Outside walls aren’t good for tuning... I know, right? I need more challenges. lol.) So that really limits how you use the center of the long room.

 

I kept trying to figure out how I wanted to use the space. Like figure out what we will do in there. Which is strange since we've never used the space for real yet. Seeing as how it was under construction with no floors and tools strewn about for so long. 

 

See what I mean? Yikes. At least I’m not nesting with that around!

And now it’s just a random whatever space. So I’m still not totally sure how we use it. But I think I just want it to be a room that’s nice for gathering in, without a TV. Reading by the window. Chilling with guitar. Having company over and a grown up place to sit.

 I debated if we needed a desk area in there -- maybe towards the back. But so far I don’t see that getting any use. It felt like an excuse to “attempt” the room design wise.

After taking it all in. What I think I’ve come to is, a streamlined section going under the front window and across the back wall towards the fireplace.

I never thought of myself as a sectional gal. But this house has taught me sectional are sometimes the only way. (We needed one in the family room too -- another long narrow room.)
I couldn’t figure out how to do a couple couches/couch-n-loveseat in the space well. I tried the thought of two settees facing each other. But it all wound up weird and underused.

 

Via

So after much thought and some blog researching I feel pretty set on getting Ikea’s Karlstad corner sofa. (In the sivik dark grey.) (If it turns out we think it’s awesome and keep it forever, I might consider getting a not-from-ikea cover in a funkier color. Like royal blue -- because I’ve fallen head over heels for any royal blue furniture Emily Henderson uses -- sooo pretty! But time will tell if that crazy scheme ever comes into play for real. I mean her couch is just way cooler in general anyway.)

Why I wanna go this route?

1) This couch is streamlined and has such an easy style.

If I want I can DYI tufted the back cushions and change the legs for a more mid-century vibe.

2)We have young kids.

That means I don’t wanna spend a lot on a couch right now. This is a good price for a new sectional. (I’m all about craigslist, but streamlined sections and our area’s craigslist are not acquainted.)

It also means the fact that these seat cover are machine washable is AMAZING!

In a nutshell that pretty much sells me on it. I’m not expecting it to be super comfortable. But this isn’t gonna be our cozy up space. (That’s our family room.) So a bit more stiff of seating in here will be fine for how I see us using it. But I have read a lot of bloggers talk about their Karlstad and they always say they are happy with the comfort level.

So that will go up front in the room.

We were given a cool retro round coffee table recently. (Someday I’ll refinish it.)

So that will nestle in with the sectional.

In front of the fireplace I see two chairs. 

I think I’m happy with the black ones we have now. (I haven’t liked them in there yet -- but I think that’s just because the room is crazy looking.) I kinda want them to read a little more mid-century than they do. But I think they will work. 

If not, they weren’t too pricey -- a craigslist find. So I can always resell and reshop.

And down at the french door end I think I will sort of float a chaise lounge. The head going towards the back (left) corner, the feet out into the room a bit. Maybe a desk or table next to it, against the back wall. (Closer to the fireplace, than the corner.)

I’ve had such a hard time figuring out that back part. But I think this will work.

The only other thought I had was a LARGE square ottoman, sitting in the center of that part the room -- kinda working like a couch/sit-n-play guitar spot.

But I’m not super sure about that. AND I’d likely have to DIY the thing. And you all know how much time I have on my hands for more projects. :) Plus that still leaves that back left wall bare…and I don’t know what to do there in that case.

I think a chaise is better form and function.

At first I thought I’d get the matching Karstad stand alone chaise. (Not in white)

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But then I saw this cool chaise Ikea came out with.

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Blake and I both like how this one would look at lot for the space.

But I have no idea how it would feel to sit in. It’s rattan. Might be good. Might be totally crazy.  I’ll need to sit on it, and think about it.

So those are the basic goals of the room.

To pull it off (or mostly off for the time being) I just need to sand the mud patch on our walls, 

and paint the room white.

(The wood work and fun ceiling can come later. I don’t mind waiting for the pizzaz, as long as we get it to look like an actual room for the time being.)

And then somehow get my motion-sickness-prone pregnant butt up to Ikea for the furniture.

And after that it would just be cutesy styling stuff. (And selling some stuff we don’t need. By the way, that round mid-century table randomly sitting around in there -- I’m not sure I can bare to part with it -- but it has no where to live in my house. The pain!)

The idea of me getting up to Ikea is terrifying. (Due to how bad my last bout of motion sickness was.) But my nesting instinct has taken over and I am powerless against it. So I’m brainstorming ways to achieve!

I can think of pretty much nothing but having this room be acceptable before this baby arrives.

My girls birthdays are right around my due date. So we will have lots of reason to celebrate and have company. It would just make my mothering hormones feel so much better to have that room (the first thing anyone sees when they come in) to be nice, and for it to be a place to spend time.