Bib Makeover

Jasmine wasn't a big drooler.

There was like maybe one week where she would drool enough that her shirt got wet, and then it was over.

Ruby...

She's been soaking her shirt for about 2 months now, and I think there's plenty more to come.

BIBS.

We need bibs!

(That's a new thing for this momma.)

Peronally,

I don't like the bibs that have statements on them.

They just annoy me.

Some more than others.

(Least favorite: "Lil Diva"! I just want to take a sharpie to it and cross out Diva and write Sebastian) 

So this one's not terrible,

but I wanted to attempt giving it a makeover.

In order to make it a free makeover, I took some clothes out of the donate bin, to cut up and use as fabric.

This time last year

We were driving home from Christmas and I started to think about how different this year is from last year.

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Besides the obvious, that we were now driving 4 hours, with 4 people, to a different home than last year's 2 hour drive with 3 people and a growing belly -- a lot of things were different.

Now I Can Swaddle with The Seatbelt On!

Disclaimer: Technically this is a car seat no-no as after market products are not to be used on car seats. You need to make a choice you feel is safe for you.

A Friend of mine 

(I never know if anyone wants to be blogged about, so I don't name names, in case you feel like "Hey why doesn't she say who!?" I'm not trying to make anyone feel left out -- just given privacy.)

Anyway, a friend of mine, sent me a link to a cool tutorial for a carseat swaddle blanket you can make.

We already have one of those car-seat zip up blankets,

so Ruby is warm in there,

but I had been wishing there as a way to swaddle while in the car seat -- swaddling is magic!

And sometimes during long car rides, you need some magic!

So when I saw this thing it was a light bulb moment of joy!

The morning before we left town for Thanksgiving, I rushed to throw something together for our 4 hour ride.

I took the easy route:

We have oh, about a million, swaddle blankets from Jasmine's baby shower two years ago.

So I grabbed a flannel one 

and did the cuts shown in the tutorial.

And then just stitched around them quickly on the sewing machine, so the blanket won't fray in the wash.

(If you really can't sew, you could get away with just cutting the holes in the blanket. Just count on your blanket fraying in the wash.)

Also, so the blanket won't fall in her face, 

I sewed the top corner down.

(I can't figure out how to word it -- but if you look at the photo it might make sense. And if you try it, you'll see what you need to do.) 

(If you can't sew, you could just cut the top off the blanket and be done with it!)

Ruby loved it!

It keeps her so much more calm and she stays asleep so much longer.

She also can't grab the pacifier out of her mouth, like she would if her arms are free -- 

hence the more calm and better sleep!

This was an awesome trick!

I wish I had known to do it for Jasmine when she was tiny.

Droopy Drawers

I've been finding all these photos of things I never posted while looking for photos to print for Christmas.

And I have to say,

as I go through everything,

 I am getting crazy wistful.

This past year has been really hard, but really amazing!

If I read my blog posts, its hard for me to hear the amazing. I just hear the hard. (Despite the fact that I really didn't try to dwell on that in posts.) 

BUT,

If I look at photos, 

I see the amazing

and I just want to cry.

This is just one of many that take my breath away...

We had JUST moved.

I was 21 Weeks Pregnant.

I barely knew where I was.

I didn't know who would delivery my baby.

I was so worried about how this baby would be born.

But 

it was Valentines day,

And I was in love.

With my husband.

With my baby.

Despite the weight of the unknown and the pain of upheaval,

There was joy.

And on top of that---

I cannot ever fully grasp the fact that my body

 has held two different bodies inside of itself.

I stand in awe of God's skill and love.

I can't really put into words what the pictures do to my heart.

That's whats amazing to me...

The pictures aren't showing me the pain, fear and loneliness,

they are showing me the grace, love and miracle of it all.

I can't believe how awesome pregnancy went for me this time.

Emotionally, woah -- hardest thing ever,

physically though-- amazing!

And circumstantially ---

God literally moved me ---

and got me to a place of safety.

I cannot fully wrap my mind around that.

Its just so big still.

Speaking of big

(and cheesy transition lines)

Check out these pants.

Jasmine so often has pants that do this.

I don't know if that's common for toddlers or if its just her little body.

And that was the intended point of this post:

A fix.

For those that will brave the sewing machine.

Its pretty easy.

You just take a piece of elastic, and sew it across the inside of the waist band in the back. 

Cover most the center.

Hold the elastic pulled as tight as you can, towards you, as you sew over it.

(Sometimes I use the zig zag stitch. Sometimes I just use the straight stitch. It works either way.)

And now they fit!

I didn't take enough photos to do a really great tutorial.

Here's someone's more detailed tutorial (done on grown-up-pants) if you'd like one.

(Yeah, you can fix your own pants this way!!)

Sorry for the drama followed up by seemingly random practicality.

Its just where my mind has been, as I scroll through photos of this year.

And I figured I might as well post the sort-of-tutorilas I've documented but didn't share.

More Toy Cabinet---I forgot some pics! And some lesson from small-space-living.

So, 

I totally forgot that I have more pictures I had been planning to add to the cabinet post.

Mom Brain -- I hope this doesn't get worse per child birthed, I cannot keep thoughts in one spot in my head anymore!

I was going through photos for Christmas, and low and behold, cabinets in progress photos -- since I was sad I didn't include them...here you go!

(I'm sure you are as pumped as I am! :) ) 

I spent every nap and bedtime painting these in my kitchen.

Worrying Ruby would wake up and I would need to nurse her, while covered in paint.

Extra Triva: I was watching Downton Abby (on Netflix) the whole while! Love that show! (18 Days!!)

Painted and waiting for Blake

:)

Look how tiny Ruby is! Oh my gosh! I already forgot she was ever that little!

5 months went by at the speed of sound!

I didn't even realize there has been time for her to grow! But there has!

So Here's our living room before, with the furniture we moved to town with:

DVD player under the table, DVDs in the black cabinets beside it.

I was just telling my friend how I like this small-space-living because it gives me the emotional ability to go through my the logical process of making our stuff work for our life.

Our Version of Perfect Toy Storage

When we were moving from our 1100 sq ft house in IL, to the 700 sq ft duplex we would rent in IA.

I knew a big part of successfully fitting our things into a smaller home was figuring out the toy situation.

Toys can take over any house, especially a little one.

I discovered pinterest a few months before we moved and was all over it trying to find a good solution for us.

Most the toy storage solutions I saw were for bins. Like those square-holed bookshelves with canvas bins kind of thing.

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I was just kinda "meh" on the look of these type of things.

But the bigger issue for me was the fact that many of the toys we had at the time for our toddler were larger than those bins. 

This shelf would only hold the small toys, what would I do with those pretend guitars, toy ambulances, all-one-piece little toy villages that were much larger than those boxes, that we had?

I needed to figure out something better for us.

Then I saw this:

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This is actually a laundry solution (I bet you figured that out.)

And its actually an ingenious laundry solution for people like me who don't ever feel like folding laundry right away.

I love it for that idea.

BUT...

when I saw those laundry baskets

 I knew our big toys would fit in there perfectly.

I was very excited!

I fell in love 

and made a plan with Blake

 for how we were gonna make these into actual furniture for our living room, 

so we could store away the toys.

I started looking for inspiration pieces to help us turn these basic cabinets into some more "put together" modern furniture.

(If you are curious here are the ones I liked that inspired our end result.)

I had wanted it done ASAP once we moved.

But,

We didn't get it made until Ruby was already born.

Part of my super-busy post-pregnancy-nesting bonanza I had been talking about.

I don't really recommend it.

I was trying to get these puppies painted while my freshly turned two year old and my barely one month old slept -- I wasn't sleeping ever! lol!

But these cabinets were worth it!

We Give Books

Have you heard of "We Give Books"?

I just discovered it off Pinterest .

Holy Cow is this a cool website!

It is a website full of a large, and ever-growing, library of kids' picture books that you can read online FOR FREE! 

The books are deemed appropriate for ages 0-10.

You do need to sign up for an account to access most the books, but its totally free.

Jasmine (2.5 yrs old) LOVES it!!

She asks, "Can we read books on tomputer?"

I love it because, 

well, let me count the ways...

First of all... so much easier than getting two tiny kids to the library, and back, in the cold. And no late fees! Or worries about "over handling" the pages before we take them back.

Also, we would never be able to take this many books home from the library!

There is a never ending stash of books to read at my finger tips now.

As soon as Jasmine asks to read, I get excited now. 

I had been getting so tired of our books we have. 

Now we get to mix it up -- and the stories are actually mentally stimulating to me, instead of the SAME OLD THING every day.

And since this on-the-compter-book platform is exciting to Jasmine, she asks to read a NEW book when we finish a book, instead of the SAME book that we JUST finished. (Can I tell you how awesome that is? It is AWESOME!)

It gives us something constructive to do with our time, that we both enjoy.

It calms Jasmine down like crazy. (lol. Is that an oxymoron?)

We get sweet calm cuddle time, and we get to imagine things at the same time.

Plus, as a visual, artsy type person, I'm gonna say that they nailed it on the format.

I love to look at it.

When I go to read a book (on my laptop) I can put it in full-screen and it turns into a calm full white background with just the book "setting" on top of that. It gives a tiny shadow around it, so it feels like a book still. And you can just use the arrow button or mouse to flip the page.

(I'm assuming if you were to use a tablet or smartphone it would just automatically go into the full screen mode -- I don't have those devices, so I don't really know.)

How much more wonderful can it get, right?

But ok, no, it does get more wonderful!!

It's name is 

We Give Books...

 Not only does this website bless my family, it is blessing kids around the U.S. and around the world with donated books!

Not only can care givers and educators use this website to read to their class room,

 but as people read online, 

We Give Books donates hard cover and paperback books to schools.

And

We Give Books also helps some of the world's best, most inspiring, literacy organizations by providing books to the young people these organizations support.

(Just to name a couple)

The more books you read, the more are donated!

And they do other cool stuff like school makeovers or care packages.

Right now, when you finish reading a book, a little box pops up, giving you the option of donating a book in someone' name, and it will send them an email {like this} telling them all about it.

So yeah,

This website is so cool.

You've got to check it out!

wegivebooks.org

One Anxious Momma

In the past, I have been kinda surprised or confused by many of the hormones-in-labor-effect claims you can find in natural birthing type literature.  They usually they focus on mother-baby-bonding after natural birth. And in my own personal birth experiences, I actually found an overpowering baby-bond instantaneously after my induction turned c-section; whereas after my natural labor and birth, I kinda had to work towards a bond over a long period of time.

I have just praised God for his grace on giving me a blessing for my first birth, outside of the original  blue-print, because... he's more than able to work outside a box.

But despite my usual ambivalence towards the subject of hormones in birth, I saw this article on pinterest and something about it called to me. 

I came to the part about Prolactin, which is the main hormone causing the production of breast milk.

And I my jaw dropped. 

"Prolactin helps us to put our babies needs first in all situations by increasing submissiveness, anxiety and vigilance."

ANXIETY.

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"I Think, I Might Want To Think About A Home Birth"

After my c-section --- actually, no, even before I was ever pregnant ---
if anyone told me they had had a home birth, or that said that they might like to have a home birth,
I thought they were really intense and super over the top. Oftentimes I got the impression that home birth was somehow this elite club that only the strongest, most perfect, and most natural of hippies could join if they were crazy enough to try.  AND I thought that these home-birthing women thought everyone should do it.

After moving to an area where I only felt safe VBAC-ing at home, I came to change my mind about home birth.
But even after my very healing home birth experience...
I personally don't think you "haven't lived" until you've done a natural home birth, nor do I think I became "the ultimate birth-er."
AND I certainly don't take away a single solitary ounce of credit from any birth experience, based off my VBAC (which just happened to happen in my home.)

I also would never make blanket statements about how people should birth --- I don't think everyone should do a home birth.

There are plenty of reasons why someone could not do a home birth.
As well as plenty of reasons someone would not want to do a home birth.

And if you know deep down to the very core of yourself that you would never want to do a home birth, then smile and be on your way down your totally credible path.  Don't let your decision make you feel weird around anyone who chose a home birth, and please try to give them the same grace of acceptance.
I really do think we should be birthing where we feel comfortable and safe.  And if you would not feel comfortable and safe at home, your experience would not be emotionally healthy --- and often times our emotional well-being can affect our physical labors.

But...  
If any part of you thinks about home birth for yourself, a little bit, sometimes, just for a moment, on rare occasion
it's just that... you have concerns and feel too nervous to go any further than the occasional thought,
then I wanted to share this post with you.

Success!

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I got on the scale this morning

and 

There was the unicorn!

The elusive 

pre-pregnancy weight.

And so now... 

I wrap up a chapter.

Chapter of effort.

A Chapter

 of hard, woven with joy.

I feel like I can close the chapter of 

nose-to-the-grind

working-so-hard

all-or-nothing

effort

towards 

VBAC.

Because now I completed that 

"walk home."

Like Frodo would have to take

after he threw in the ring,

even though he was exhausted

and so done!

(Over dramatic for sure, but it popped in my head, so I went with it.)

Results:

Wait, what do I mean results?

To Share

I wrote out my first birthing experience last week.
And I wasn't expecting so many emotions.
I don't know why! 

Processing:

I am...

I am both becoming and falling apart.

I am...

I am both new and old.

I am...

I am both refreshed -- aired out, and yet still stored away -- getting attic rot.

I am...

I am still hoping, 

yet fulfilled, 

regardless still yearning.

I opened up

to find that my scar was only scabbed

and it hurts still to touch and pull at, 

tug, smooth, press the pillow against

at least in my heart.

Its not ugly to me now.

But

it is not 

how I was formed 

at first.

To open up  -- not open up, like share with the room,

but open up like, open a door that got shut years ago because the room means too much to look at.

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To open up this past week,

I thought I was ready.

And I guess I was.

But I'm questioning why.

Why did I want to share it?

What was it for?

And why does it matter 

when other people have so many hurts too?

I've looked back now 

and part of me gets a thrill to have been where I was and be able to be where I am.

But another part of me just gets tired.

Achey and Sore.