Tuesday, March 17, 2015

25 Weeks Pregnant with #3

I’m not gonna write very much at all about pregnancy this week. I’m just seriously too crabby to even bother. You don’t wanna read it. I don’t wanna write it. I’ll just tell you...

I have moments where I don’t have nausea. So in that way I guess I can say I’m feeling better. Because in my first trimester and start of second I had basically zero moments with no nausea.
     But I also have lots of chunks of time with just-as-bad-as-always nausea. Or sometimes it’s not even nausea anymore, it’s just flat out stomach cramp-indegestion pain. Neither is preferable over the other, they both suck. They just suck differently. When it hurts, I can move even less than I already do -- fetal position is the only option for me... but I can think more clearly in these moments where I lay there, I kinda don’t feel as angry. But when it’s nausea I am just generally filled with insane amounts of brain fog and furious emotions that I don’t know how to overcome. After six and a half months of this, I just seriously do not know how to get rid of my crabbiness. I’m not sure anyone should be near me anymore.
     There is no rhyme or reason to when and how much nausea or relief I get. I can kind of count on mornings being better than afternoons/evenings/nights. But not always, sometimes mornings are bad too. (Like this one.)

     I’ve spent some time this week doing that "desperate google” (honestly, I don’t know how I made it this long before I broke down and did this.) And finding insane blog posts all over about “cures” for nausea. One internet favorite is only applicable BEFORE you get pregnant. What the heck, you know the people reading it are already screwed (if this cure is even real, but to be honest I’m pretty sure it’s not. At least in cases such as mine.) The most baffling ones are the ones that claim eating certain foods, always and consistently, is the surefire way to never get nausea. The types of food listed are the reason I am lead to to believe these people just never actually had any nausea (or would have had any anyway) because the foods the list, are foods I can’t even look at, nor are they foods I even want to think about. Like, ok…. how is someone who is always on the verge of puking supposed to subject them-self to cod liver oil?!? Or endless meats and fermented foods? Seriously. What are you talking about!?
     I’ve had a pregnancy where I could pull off eating well. And then I had this pregnancy. Life’s not fair. I’m not gonna cure myself with cod liver oil. I’d vomit just trying to get it to my mouth.

My grandma decided I’m sick because this is a really tall baby. “He’s going to be 25 inches long,” she says. (No we don’t know if we are having a boy or not. That’s just what she’s going with.) Apparently my stomach hurts because there just isn’t enough room in there for everything.
     I actually like this theory the best of any I’ve heard. One) because it’s entertaining. Two) because I’m super short, and Blake’s not tall, so it’s be great if we can somehow pull off tallness for a child. Three) Because no one is scared of having long babies, just fat babies. Long babies just slide out. And four) because it’s nothing I have control over -- no more “just do this and you will feel better” advice. Finally someone gives me the go ahead on “You just feel nauseous because it’s just the way it is.” High Five Grandma. I will take it. Tall baby here we come. ;)



I wonder if the progesterone cream helps some. I’ve been using it 9 days now. I think it’s kinda given me those brief pauses in nausea.  And I think it may also contribute to me being able to get some more done around the house, even if I don’t feel good -- maybe upping my stamina a bit.

It’s a lot of cream to rub on. The non-pregnant dosage is smaller and easier to do. The pregnant version is kinda lotion over-load for the skin to actually absorb. I have started putting it on morning and night because I can get it rubbed in easier that way. Plus I figure maybe that’s good to keep hormones balanced over the day?

Anyway, like I said. I have gotten more done this week than normal. Part of that was because my mom was in town. While she hung out with the girls (Day 2) I was feeling good enough (compared to Day 1which was a fetal position day) to finish scrubbing down the upstairs hallway walls.
     Those had been wallpapered. Once in the 60’s, and then in the 80’s. I believe there was ancient 60’s flour paste on the walls under the 80’s wallpaper (thankfully they had pulled the 60’s stuff down before they added a layer! Phew. One less thing for us to conquer. I only found one chunk of it under the thermostat -- it was groovy! I seriously can’t imagine how hard it hit you in the face with an entire two story entry way full of it!) So that paste made the walls really rough, and lumpy, and messy. It would look horrible if you were to just paint over it. (And that would be terrible to do, because then it’s permanently attached to the walls.) I had scrubbed down half the hallway, right before I got pregnant….I think. And then just abandoned it. The hallway looks haunted. It’s gross. But whatever. I was just surviving anyway.

Peek into my mind: I kind of teeter between the mentality that
A) I’m learning life is more important than having everything be perfect. I can live pretty much every bit as much in a gross environment as a nice one.
-AND-
B) Everything is easier to do if you are surrounded by beauty.

The two do not go together. I think they are both true. But they don’t actually go together.
I’d clearly prefer if everything was beautiful. I do think this would be easier to endure inside a completely complete house (decorations and organization and all.) But I am learning I can survive gross inside a mess too.

Anyway, that paste is very difficult to scrub off. I didn’t try many methods, because I don’t really think any certain thing would have made it go faster. I just used hot water (refilled often because it gets crazy dirty, and needs more warmth again), a washcloth, and elbow grease. (Plus I didn’t want to have to smell anything like vinegar or fabric softener that can be used on wallpaper -- I hate smells right now. But like I said, I don’t see how they would have sped anything up. Fabric softener actually sounds like it would have made things worse to me.) I was worried it would take me a week to finish scrubbing the hallway. Because I think it took me 2 or 3 days to get the first half done, and that was before I was a wimpy pregnant person. But thankfully I had started on the end with more wall space, and was ending on the side with more doors than walls. So it actually only took me an afternoon!
It feels really nice that it’s done. Sadly this sensation does nothing for the visual of the hallway. It’s still the same haunted color, it’s just smoother. 

The next step with be mudding and sanding. It’s not terribly pitted from wallpaper --which is GREAT news. But there are spots we gouged when pulling the wallpaper down, and just spots general needing to be fixed.

I’m not sure when I’ll get to that. We’ll see.
Then will be painting the trim and then painting the walls.
    And I’m not even really thinking about the doors. I think we might take those down this summer and spray them outside. They are really tedious to paint. The doors that I have pained, I’ve done 3 coats of paint, and they really could use 4. That semi-gloss paint just has a way of showing through in some spots.

None of this addresses the tall part of the entry way. That part is gonna be a PROJECT.

This is just the reachable, walkable hallway upstairs.
Someday it will be that muddy grey color you see below it, and the trim and doors will be white like the one downstairs is.
(And Some-someday the stairs will look better, the railings and banisters will be different, and the entryway walls will be woodwork painted trim-white.)

Anyway, other than that.
Monday was gorgeous outside. And instead of feeling inspired to walk to the park (which is sorta what I had originally thought I would try to do.) I suddenly felt compelled to go through the girls clothes and do the seasonal switch. I think this was actually the best call I could have made. I’m pretty sure the walk to the park would have been to much for my body and the playing at the park too much for my mind, and then we would have had to get home!
Going through the girls clothes worked out perfect. I was able to let the girls play in the back yard for much of the time. I had all our windows open. And we were all quite pleased with the day.

(Dear first four-and-a-half-years-of-motherhood-Lydia,
 Mark your calendar. Someday you will accomplish something again without someone touching you, or pleading with you, or undoing your work, or slowing it WAY down. And it won’t be the middle of the night! And you don’t have to feel guilty about any of it. )

The girls room had gotten really messy. And their clothes were basically a wreck. Tons of stuff that didn’t fit, or go together, or work. They basically wore 4 outfits this winter, but mostly pajamas all day due to me not wanting to move. Their closet looked like it puked out it’s contents all over the floor in front of it. (Maybe it’s pregnant too.) {Sorry forgot to take a before picture. Just imagine a HUGE mess on the floor, with hardly anything hanging up.}
     Blake’s been kind enough to recently volunteer to get the girls dressed every morning, to make it easier for me to try and get out of the house if I’m up to it. So I figured getting their clothes back into working order would help us all.
     So I did the whole pull out the too small stuff, and then get out the next season’s stuff from the garage. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I had for Jasmine this year. I thought I might need to buy it all this year for her. But actually, somehow we still had the we-have-too-many-clothes-problem. (We got given stuff by 3 people this fall and I kinda forgot that ever happened with my brain fog.) So we just picked out the stuff she liked most.
     I’d always rather have fewer, more enjoyed, clothing options than too many. Otherwise laundry day... is laundry week, which starts as soon as it ends. I still probably have more in there than I ideally would. But we also are still straddling cold and warm weather, so that ups the amount of stuff on hand.
Anyway. That accomplishment feels epic.
      I cannot convey how wonderful I think a truly organized space is. I get a calmness inside that is just so peaceful when I know everything is pared down and has a home.
I guess I should mention that bottom row is just dress up clothes. (Pretty much all from Grandma!)
And the stuff to the left of the organizer are winter coats.
By the way, someday I hope to give this closet a function-makeover. The setup could be much better. A double bar all the way across is kinda cumbersome. 
And of course we still need doors on here!


I know it won’t last. But that doesn’t make the current peace any less.


Speaking of…
Last week, I forgot to share, that I went through our bathroom closet and organized that.
Before

After
The bottom still looks messy with that light fixture in there. But it’s gonna get a makeover and get hung up in this bathroom. So someday it will be outta there.

 I found these “locker bins” at Dollar Tree. (I was so happy I found this many white ones!) And went through all our stuff and organized it all. That also was insanely refreshing.


I must be nesting. (But really, I’ve been wanting to do this stuff for, forever. It’s just only now that I’m getting to it. I have just the right amount of energy for it. If I had any more energy I’d be painting and therefore putting off this stuff. So it’s kinda a weird perk of the moment -- finding some order in my house.)

Next up…my closet. 

Besides getting laundry put away (again!…always.) I need to pull out the stuff I’ve outgrown so I can stop looking at it and feeling fat. That pile on my bed is stuff I hope makes me feel a little less gross. This pregnancy is a fluffy one. I’m just gonna have to deal with it. (And I may deal with it by not looking at that stripped dress I showed you last week anymore -- horizontal stripes are kinda too much for my brain already. I don’t care about the belly bump -- it’s the back bumps I’m getting that I’m trying not to cry over. "Someday I won’t be pregnant. Someday my body will let me eat normal again. Someday I’ll be able to do more than lay on a couch." )

Also…I need to go through our hallway linen closet. 

It’s packed full of nonsense that I shoved in there while unpacking our house. I bought these baskets to help control stuff more nicely. It’s a really narrow closet, so these were the closest baskets I could find to the right size for the space. I’m hoping for good results when I get to it.

Belly Comparisons:
 

Sigh. I remember very clearly not feeling too pregnant at all this point with #2. I already feel like I did full term (with #1, which was a heavier pregnancy than #2) and…I have for a while now (maybe like since second trimester.)
Here’s to the last week of my second trimester.
I guess.
I’m never going to believe I had a second trimester this time.
I’m in permanent first trimester, and have somehow felt as sore as third trimester for ages already.
Here’s hoping third trimester can’t get any worse.

I still like feeling baby kick in there.
If anyone has any delightful baby videos or awesome birth videos they’ve seen around the internet, send me a link. Those are the only things that remind me I’m pregnant and not experiencing a terminal illness. I watch them when I extra need a boost.

5 comments:

  1. I love that you mentioned the stupid posts all over the internet about how to cure nausea. Seriously! Those people were clearly never nauseous. Lol! And I have been organizing like crazy too. I think because I have been out of commission for so long with being sick, I am anxious to get things in order. I have slowly been doing toys, and our desk. Plus I pretty much completely decluttered our living room, finally. Feels good! Glad you were productive! Your house is looking great!

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    Replies
    1. Yeah I agree, they have no clue what they are talking about. I keep wondering if all (or many of) my old posts I wrote during my second pregnancy about healthy pregnancy are even real anymore after experiencing this pregnancy.
      And yay, glad you were productive too! It feels so nice to accomplish anything after so much yuckiness.

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  2. Every week i read your blog and I marvel that you are so sick and yet somehow you are working on your house?? I know I wasn't nearly as bad as that with my first trimester (only one day of pure nausea, the rest was just fatigue and food aversions) and all I managed to do was move from the bed to the livingroom to watch my 4-6 month old play. Kudos to you. You rock. And I still keep hoping you will feel better one day...I'm saying go with your grandma and it's a boy and that's why you're so sick. I definitely was more nauseous with my son than my daughter. We can pretend it's a gender thing that you can't control. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Aw thanks Megan. You make a girl feel good. But I seriously do spend most my time on the couch (wishing I was in bed.) And man, when you have a baby around, you are sleep deprived on top of it all -- so I say the couch was a great place to be! :) (It’s where I’ve spent all my first trimesters. One couch or another. :) )
      It’s so funny because in person I hear many people say that they were sicker with boys than girls, but on the internet it’s all “girls make you so sick!” So yeah, I don’t know. But I do know, if this baby is another girl I definitely will be baffled by the difference -- I guess I’ll just have to give it to being in my 30s for this one then.

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