Tuesday, December 2, 2014

10 Weeks Down

I hit 11 weeks pregnant this week!

Oh my goodness I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am that starting to feel the pregnancy upswing towards second trimester glory.

Now, that doesn’t mean I’ve kissed first trimester and it’s perils goodbye, but I have felt the shift begin. Like the smell of spring after a long winter --- it’s the most wonderful scent you think you’ve ever smelled-- like pureness, and life, and hope. It might still be snowy and chilly, but who cares because you know it won’t last.

But before I get ahead of myself, let’s go back to the start of week 10.

I felt yucky. I was really nervous about Thanksgiving. We were planning on going to Michigan (the cottage) and meeting my family. I knew we’d need to be sure to pack stuff the girls were safe to eat. But I could hardly look at food. And I knew I’d need to ride in the car for 3 hours there, and 3 hours back. The last time I rode to Blake’s family’s house (newly pregnant) I couldn’t barely stand myself by the end of the 2.5 hour drive. I just felt too queasy and gross in the car. So I was getting more and more hesitant by the moment to go through with this trip.

Then came Wednesday morning, the day we were gonna pack up and go. And of course, wouldn’t you know, I felt the worst I’d felt yet for this pregnancy (which is the pregnancy I’ve felt the worst for.) I was unable to sit up by the suitcase to pack, without having to bend over in half because I was so sure I’d die of that “I’m going to puke, but it won’t actually happen” sensation I was experiencing. I also was getting light-headed and dizzy when I stood up. And I was all around more exhausted than ever. I literally fell asleep twice before noon. I started crying at one point because I felt so bad. The girls were surprised and kinda freaked out to see me that way, but so sweet. Ruby told me “This my first time, I see my mom…(and then just pointed at my tears.)” And then she just kept smiling with her face close to mine, then tucked herself in next to me on the couch until I stopped and then asked “You happy now?"

I did not think I could possibly make the trip. But the girls were really excited. And Blake had been looking forward to getting out of town. So I told Blake if he thought he could do the packing and drive them up there (wasn’t sure of how comfortable he was with getting both of them out of the car for potty breaks and such) then to just go on without me.
So he was a trooper, packed up everything. Took care of it all. And then drove them off.

Let me tell ya. If I ever need perspective on life and love, just send my kids off to a holiday celebration without me.

Hearing Jasmine tell me how much she is gonna miss me and seeing Ruby’s tired sad wave goodbye was enough to break my heart into a million pieces. I did feel like I made the best decision out of the choices I had. But I totally cried as they went out the door... and for a while after they left.

After sitting and mopping around a while, I thought well I might as well go get a pumpkin pie blizzard now since I’m not gonna have a Thanksgiving. So I came home, Netflixed, and looked through old photos of the girls on my phone feeling wistful.

I woke up the next morning feeling well. I stayed in bed a long time relaxing. I was still thinking I’d be missing Thanksgiving. I got up and ate breakfast -- waited, wondering if the not-gross sensation would stay around. I seemed to be staying ok. So then I started thinking, “Well alright, if I can take a shower without grossness arriving, I will try and pack really fast and get in the car." So I took a shower and felt fine. So I threw some clothes in my back pack and jumped in the car. I only told Blake. So when I pulled up to the cottage right as everyone had started dinner they were all surprised.

I was really glad I made it up there and didn’t miss out. I was kinda pooped after the drive. But I felt surprisingly better over all that day. Had a rougher evening. But the days since I’ve really felt like I turned the corner.

We had a nice time up there. It was so pretty with soft freshly falling snow.

The girls didn’t sleep so great. So I didn’t get sleep. But I handled that pretty well.

When we got home on Saturday I had a pretty queasy night. So my nights are still ify. But this week has really been a “Hurray! I’m on the upswing!” kinda week!

Randomness like before. But I can tell you, leftover turkey smell is a killer. Eeeewww.  At one point Blake and I went to grab a bite to eat in Michigan and I ordered Potato soup and cheese sticks. (Didn’t eat much of the soup as sadly it was heavily seasoned with dill -- I was hoping for mellow-nothing-taste.)

Baby: Well I had my first pre-natal on Monday. And I didn’t even think we would listen for baby yet.  I just figured it was still too soon, but we listened and found it right as soon as the doppler hit. Heart rate in the 160s.  I was kinda just floaty all morning after that.

I kept looking at my girls and how cute they are, and realizing that I have another child inside my body and I’m going to love them just as much -- I kept tearing up randomly. The internet tells me baby is the size of a lime, or a fig, or a brussels sprout. I haven’t noticed any flutters lately. But I do feel my uterus, like I can physically feel it growing.

Belly: I think I have commenced showing this week. I feel like I should thank Thanksgiving dinner. But I didn’t actually eat much over the trip -- I kinda had a hard time finding things I wanted to eat. But I came home weighing a lot more! I’m hoping that’s more bloat. (Some of it has gone back down.) But oh well whatever. It’s just the price of hosting another person inside my body. They make my body bigger -- it’s their job.

I’m not sure if I am at the "stranger think’s I’m pregnant" stage yet. I think it still sorta passes as "Maybe she’s been eating a lot?” Especially in not fitted clothes. But at this rate, it won’t be long before it’s convincing everyone and starting the “are your ready to pop” comments way before their time. I’m gonna get that early this time. (As if 7 months wasn’t a wee bit soon for strangers to insist my babies come out for both of my previous pregnancies. I’m guessing we start that business at 5 months this time -- how much should we bet on it. ;) I could be rich. )

I think I look about equal to my 16 weeks pregnant of last pregnancy.

Baby #2

Baby #2

The internet baby-week-by-week-stuff says at 11 weeks your uterus is the size of a grapefruit, and that it’s still inside your pelvis. But  at my appointment on Monday my uterus was already 3 or 4 finger widths out of my pelvis, so I guess I do get to start showing the real deal now.  (Don’t know mine being out already is a third baby thing or not. It probably is based on these photos -- I don’t really care either way, I just enjoy random knowledge.) But so as my uterus rises, so does the rest of my insides like intestines and things. I feel that explains my soft-belly-bump, not the firm baby-bump yet.

Feeling: Grateful that I got to partake in Thanksgiving with my family. And so happy that I’m starting to feel better! I can not even tell you how hopeful that makes me. Like my house might get vacuumed for the first time in a couple months. Woohoo! That feels awesome! (Even if it doesn’t happen, just the mental stamina to think about doing it is a pretty big amazing deal!)

Watch me pop:


  1. Yay for you!! 10 weeks tends to be about the time I start feeling that scent of spring as well. I think 12 weeks I was feeling pretty good but I did not decide I was completely out of the 1st trimester annoyances until 16-18 weeks sometime. It seemed a lot longer this second time around than the first even though I had less nausea this time. I was just so dadgum exhausted! I hit 26 weeks on Sunday and I already feel like a WHALE. It's not helping when the MIL makes comments about how much I'm showing now. :P Also I gained freaking 11 lbs in one month according to my midwife's scale. I'm really confused because my home scale has only shown a difference of 6 lbs (I weigh myself every week on my own scale and I know how far behind her's it runs). I about had a heart attack and may or may not have had a meltdown on the way home from that appointment. That really only puts me up 14 lbs for the entire pregnancy so far which is fabulous but since I still had all of Baby #1's weight on board every pound is making me have panic attacks. I'm now at my heaviest ever. I know it's about healthy baby but it's hard when you've struggled with weight all your life to ever be okay with gaining. Especially when I feel so out of control. But anyhow glad to hear you are getting to a better place!! Dawn is coming soon. :)

    1. Yeah it’s hard to get past exhaustion in general once entering motherhood! Pregnancy while caring for a little one is no joke. Don’t worry about the midwife’s scale -- that stuff can be deceiving. My husband and I just signed up for life insurance with a different company so they had to come give us a physical -- when my husband got on the scale he was like “there is no way that is right” so he went and changed into lighter clothes and just doing that took 5lbs off. I don’t personally know any woman who’s really ever ok with gaining weight while pregnant. Well all know it has to happen, but it’s always kinda like toucher trying to convince ourself it’s ok. I know I have to talk myself down pretty much every day about what the scale is saying-- I thought by the third time I’d be used to it and ok with it -- but it’s just an emotional process.

    2. So I saw this blog post shared on this morning on Facebook. It’s so sweet and true I had to pass it along. It’s such a good reminder about how we see our bodies. Please give it a read!

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