Saturday, April 20, 2013

The ants go marching...

Ok so part of the hardness of both a c-section, and having a child with food allergies, is the propensity we have as women to blame ourself for everything, especially things regarding our children, and the way that comes into play in cripplingly intense amounts regarding these two particular circumstances.
Well at least its true for me.

I've had 3 years of hard time.
I've put myself in prison.
While there, I am punished for all my atrocities.
Recently my punishments have gotten harsher, because the jury has discovered even more failings that had previously gone by undetected.
I was therefore locked in solitary confinement.
Well... it would be solitary, except they left me in there with one particularly evil guard, who spent all day, and all night, telling me exactly why I was in here. She's very well read, so she can come up with some amazingly descriptive tales about my failings.

But God started bringing in these little ants.

Somehow,
despite being in solitary confinement,
during my days, I mother.
I get breakfast ready. (Breakfast made out of weird non allergen, non breakfast foods.) I let the house get messy. I give baths.  I put to bed.
And THEN I clean up crumbs.

There were these ants.
Getting into my crumbs.
They were so happy.
I was not.

It wasn't even warm out yet. I thought ants were a summer time thing.

I at night my evil guard would take breaks from her food allergy tirades to tell me how, "If you could only keep up with those crumbs, those ants would be gone!" "Other moms must be cleaning up their crumbs. If they weren't every house with children would be infested with ants!" "Clearly, you are a terrible mother if you can't even keep your floor swept. I mean, look, you are now allowing your home to be infested with pests due to your negligence!" Sometimes in a bootcamp scream, sometimes in a snake whisper as she rocked me to sleep.

And during the day I'd repeat them to myself. Even expound on them.
And squash ants.

I told Blake I wanted to sweep and mop behind the fridge and stove, to try and help the situation.

We moved the fridge... not much more than some dust bunnies to free.


After a full day with the girls, we almost didn't get around to the stove.

But once they were in bed, we yanked it out.

It was a tight fit.
As Blake dislodged it, a strange, thinly shattering rain fell behind it.
And we craned to see...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Just a short "Hello..."

I just wanted to throw a quick post out [while one sleeps and one plays in her room {she told me to leave her alone with Ariel the mermaid Barbie. heh heh.}] to say, "I'm still here." And still blogging away in my head! But, I know... that doesn't help you.
Its just we, as a family, are in the stage of two very busy little ones, with no coinciding down times, and  so its hard to find the time.
Plus we were just out of town visiting family.
And I've been reading LOTS and LOTS recently.
A lot of which is on food allergies because we have an allergist appointment for Jasmine coming up and I want to have my thoughts together to get the most out of our appointment.
To be honest with you, I get some very low-lows working on being a mommy of an adorable little girl who happens to have food allergies. I don't always handle myself well. And I don't really know how, or that I want to, blog on this stuff yet. But you could be praying for me. Its really a challenge for my heart, because I just love her so much and I want her to just be able to have all sorts of food. You could be praying that she does indeed outgrow these allergies (because statically its likely, and because God is big.)
I'm also just trying to figure out good routines for us. (I want to blog about that too!)
Sheesh I have so much to say! And no time to write it!

But, be patient with me. I'll get there!

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