26 Weeks Pregnant

The Belly:
Grown a half inch this week.
So its grown a whole inch since week 22.
 (That's kinda been my bench mark, since I only took a picture at 22 and 27 weeks last pregnancy. However I didn't measure my belly at all last time. So its not really all that much of a comparison --- Its just kinda how I've thought about my growth spurts.)
It is a pretty impressive inch. Somehow just one inch from 22 to 27 looks very different!

(Edited in on 11/16/12: So, my "What to wear while pregnant" post went viral and now many people seem to be clicking on this post to, basically see who I am. 

Thanks for stopping by.

 I'm wishing I had rethought the scarf in these photos. ;)

To be honest with you, I didn't try very hard to get my fashion-act together with this pregnancy. (Although, I will say, I did like that dress quite a bit.) 

But I spent this pregnancy, studying pregnancy, and nutrition, and exercises, and all things VBAC. My first daughter was born VIA c-section after an induction, and my heart's cry was for a natural VBAC this time.

I really dove in hard after the answers I needed.

I did go on to have a really great VBAC with an amazing care team.

I learned a LOT of things I wish I had known the first time and I share them all along the way about all sorts of things.

I really hope you will look into my "Healthy Pregnancy" section (up in the tab on the top right) because I'd love it if you could benefit from it in any way, and have an awesome pregnancy and delivery.

*And just so you know, I've now experience the gambit of birthing styles, so it is the furthest thing from my heart to make anyone feel pressure or guilt in regards to how their baby is born -- becoming a mother is amazing no matter what!*

***********
Edited in on 12/9/14: This post is still getting a lot of views, so I thought I would let you know we are expecting baby #3 now. If you wanna see if I got my fashion act together or not, and what we are up to now (perhaps renovating a house) you can check out some of the new posts on that. )
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The belly button kinda sticks out in one spot or another when I sit or lay certain ways. But its still unpoped. If I push on the skin around it, I can make it stick out. I showed J this (she's really into belly buttons in general) and she was both baffled and totally enthralled.

And um, I just have to mention the fact that: I am super excited to have made it through winter still able to zip up my coat! (The weather has been awesome here for a couple weeks now, but I wore my winter coat to the pool in the early morning on Monday--- and it still closes!) This is such delightful news to me, because last time I was pregnant, I couldn't fit into anything I owned that zipped or buttoned by about 8 or 9 weeks pregnant. (This was due to the instant, and constant shifts in bra sizes I experienced last pregnancy...5 cup sizes overall (!)... And THANKFULLY am not experiencing at all so far this time!) So being able to fit my entire pregnant torso into a pre-pregnant coat for basically 7 months is like the coolest thing in the world to me! (You have no idea how much I hated the coat I had to wear last time --- it was the only thing that would house my outlandish chest! Honestly, it wasn't all that bad --- but I resented it none the less.)

Also, I'd like to mention that during this pregnancy I am quite literally grateful that I have stretch marks from last pregnancy. I'm not just saying that, or looking for a silver lining. I actually love that I spend 0% of my time looking for stretch marks!
Last time I spent plenty of time putting lotion and oil on, analyzing my skin, and congratulating myself every day that they didn't appear. Then once they did appear, I spent time crying.
I haven't even bothered looking once this time. And I don't plan on putting any special ointments on --- just lotion if I itch. I don't know if I'll get any more, or if once I've been stretched I'm good to go -- but it just doesn't matter to me because I already know I have them.
So honestly, I'm grateful that I got just enough last time to make me totally care free for this time! :)
Weird as it sounds, thats exactly how I feel!





Physically:
I feel pretty good. Have some lower back aches sometimes (Monday night was pretty rough), but not the majority of the time. Some more round ligament stretching at some points this week, probably to go with the 1/2 inch we added.

 

Swimming has been going well. Overall I'm getting more stamina (since restarting swimming about a month ago after my hiatus.) So I'm not really winded at all, and able to swim with either less breaks or shorter breaks at the ends of the pool. (I've always been a break taker, pregnant or not. I marvel at those people who just never stop during their whole work out. Maybe that will be me sometime. But I'm not worried about it now.) I've never had any more round ligament pain during swimming after the first couple times. Like anyone, I have off days, and really on fire days. Last week I wasn't feeling too coordinated, especially on Thursday -- I really wondered if the life guards were needing to keep their eye on me since I looked so pathetic. I didn't even feel like I could float, I felt like a canon ball. But then when I got back in on Monday I felt all sorts of on top of it, extra floaty and everything.

I'm hoping that it will work out to keep swimming after little one #2 gets here (after I rest up.) We'll see how that works out when it gets here -- Blake will need to be comfortable with two little girls for nearly 2 hours alone to accomplish that. (I'm not even sure how I'll feel with two little girls alone! :) )

I'm also working to ensure I do pelvic tilts and other good pregnancy exercises and stretches very regularly now.





Food:
This week I have started to really crack down on my diet.
Even though, most people think I've already been doing that -- I've promised myself that I would be an excellent eater for this pregnancy. And while I have been eating better than last time, I am just going to be working harder and harder at eating great the closer I get to my due date (and the bigger this little one is getting.) Why do I care? Because then, no matter what happens, I will know I did my best, and nothing will be haunting me. I'd rather live that way --- giving it my all. Its no fun looking back thinking "what if."

So with that said, I'm working on eating according to the Brewer Diet.
Its basically a high protein diet, that ensures you get good vitamins with specific types of fruits and veggies, keeps you getting calcium, and makes sure you don't over do it on carbs (which should be only coming in the form of whole grains.)
Depending on who you talk to, your recommended carb intake varies (the ones coming from whole grains, we aren't counting veggies here, which of course have carbs). No informed person I've talked to (or read from) have recommended having any more than this diet's prescribed portions.  (Watching carbs is the main way to control both the mother and baby's weight gain, in order to keep them both to a healthy.) However I have heard opinions stating you should have even less than this. For now I'm trying to stick to the diet, or just under, in the way of gains. If I can figure it out, I will try to cut back as my due date nears.

This is my first week at it, so I haven't succeeded in getting in all the correct veggies or fruits each and every day. But over the course of the week its pretty balanced. And I'm gonna work on figuring out ways to work it all in.
(Anyone have any good recipes for, or that include, any of these: broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, spinach, or kale?)

Its actually a ton of food! Part of why I haven't gotten it all in, is that I just am full before I eat it all. And my weight is staying steady, so I know its just good for me food, not fatten me up food.
It just takes more focus and planning to accomplish.
I'm keeping a food journal from here on out, to help me keep tabs. (I actually really enjoy doing this. This is what I did when I lost weight between pregnancies. It helps me feel more peaceful when I go to eat, because it takes the guess work out of what is ok, and what is too much. I don't have to think so hard anymore.)

Deliciousness of the week: Oranges!
Man, when you have been avoiding sugar at all costs -- oranges taste better than candy bars!

Speaking of candy bars, I did have "Mud pie" birthday cake for Blake's birthday. I was given permission to indulge for birthdays and weddings. :) Blake made sure I remembered that titbit, so I could enjoy the occasion. It was quite delicious! Its basically ice-cream cake: Oreo crust, bananas, ice cream, all toped with awesome fudge!






Baby:
She's supposed to weight about 2lbs now.
When she wants to she can make my belly dance.
I still feel her head down pretty deep.
I think I feel hiccups sometimes, but I've not been positive yet, sometimes I just think its her hands doing something. But I'm still not sure about hand feelings, and how to tell exactly whats going on there. I still usually feel her feet under my right ribs.

I spend a lot of time trying to mentally piece together how her movements might be interpreted into her personality. I'm pretty much at a loss. Any medical person (ultrasound tech, midwives, ect) checking her out has commented on how much she moves. But what gets me, is the fact that she seems calmer to me than J did. (And no one seemed to comment on J being a mover.) So I can't figure out if I'm just not feeling her move as much as she really does, or if J just had everyone fooled last time, and this little one is more calm.

What I can say is that J used to have one full day of just crazy partying non stop, and then a full day of sleeping and not doing anything. She was pretty consistently like that the entire pregnancy. (Didn't stick to that routine once she was out, thank goodness --- that would have been crazy.)
This little girl, mainly likes to move at night, with an occasional few moments of moving here or there through out the day -- but I really don't feel much during the day. (On Monday afternoon I did feel her squirming around for maybe 20 mins before she was mellow again.) In fact when she does move during the day it usually shocks me into doing this dramatic "jump" --- especially when she does her rare good kick to the ribs! :)

J:
I think we are having a hard time communicating with each other this week.
I think we just have two different agendas. I'm pretty darn intent on studying up on having this baby. And she is pretty darn intent on going outside to play. (And she's not ok with me bringing any books with! She wants full and total attention.)
And I think we are both a bit flustered at each other.
I feel bad. But its just the truth.
I guess I need to work out a better balance of my time. But its hard since I feel like I don't have enough time before the end of June gets here.
I keep wondering how its gonna work once new baby is here. I hope she can handle sharing me and my time. This hope is, honestly purely selfish in intent. I have not been feeling very patient lately at all. And I'm worried I'm going to just be crazy irritated if J is super whinny while we are all adjusting to life as a family of four.

We also have been having an interesting time with sleep.
We went back to Blake's hometown this weekend for his birthday. (Which was quite nice.) But she did not take to the change of bedroom well AT ALL. She was a screaming disaster no matter what we tried. She cried the same no matter if we were in the room doing the best we could for her, or if we weren't. So we had to let her cry it out. I think Blake's parents may have thought we were torchering her -- thats what I would have thought anyway. But there was just no soothing her at all. Our first night back home was rather similar, only with a much faster crying stage before she fell asleep.
Its kinda over whelming since we had been doing awesome on sleep when we first moved here. I think its just kinda the left over ramifications of all the night time wakings (involving rice milk) when she was sick, that we need to work past. I hate hearing her so upset. But its impossible to do anything for her to make it better. (Even rice milk was infuriating her, so we gave up on that too.)
I've been wondering if she's already starting to morn the loss of being an only child. I think she knows what's coming. (But there's no way to really say.)
I also think she teething her two year molars. So, you know how that goes!

In food news, she currently is obsessed with "pizza." She can't have cheese, so its just crust (usually homemade whole wheat, or in a pinch a store bought tortilla),  and sauce. Sometimes sausage if I have it. She wants pizza all the time. And you can't say the word without her having a breakdown if she can't have it!
I guess everyone loves pizza -- even people who can't actually have pizza!

In activities news: She loves drumming. She will take her hands and bang on couches, ottomans, whatever. We watch Veggie Tales "Little Drummer Boy" a lot and well she just loves it. She also says "Rummpa pa pumm" a lot during her days.

Kiss for Sister!

Emotionally:
I started out this pregnancy week still a bit hung up emotionally on how I'm gonna get through this pregnancy (appointments, ect) without knowing anyone. So the week started with my allotted quota of "emotional wreckage."
But honestly, after that I have felt pretty stable for the rest of the week.
I don't know what changed. But I feel more confident in things overall. And less willing to let circumstances over take me. (Now, no one get surprised if this new attitude takes a while to really take hold. In other words, no one get shocked if I freak out again later! :) )

I decided against the 12 week child birth class. It just wasn't going to fit into our lives right now. And I wasn't sure how much more I would get out of it, since I have studied so much on my own. (Blake is always telling me how I could become a midwife after this baby is born, for as much as I read on the subject.)

I decided to order hypnobabies. I was undecided on it for a while. But a friend of mine thought it was phenomenal, so that weighed into things for me. Plus I looked at the reviews on Amazon.com. Out of the 50 reviews on there only 3 said it didn't help in labor, and yet two of those three still really enjoyed it during pregnancy. They said it made them feel very relaxed and confident.
"Relaxed and Confident" are not emotions that I've experienced a lot of lately. So I decided that for me and where I am at -- paying the cost of the set would be worth it even if only to feel relaxed and confident in pregnancy.  (Blake agreed! Poor guy has seen more than his fair share of my tears!) So regardless of how it helps in labor, I'm looking forward to it. (So, if it helps out in labor that will just be really awesome icing on the cake! :) )

I ordered it on Monday. So hopefully it comes fast! :) (I actually love endlessly tracking packages from online purchases. It's makes online shopping a whole new level of fun! I think I might be enjoying online shopping more than real shopping lately.)

Looking Good While Pregnant

Ever wonder what to wear when pregnant?
I have!

I don't claim to be a style expert, by any means.
But I do claim to have an obsession with figuring out maternity clothes.
I think its mainly due to the fact that, in comparison to the rest of life, its such a short phase. So it was really hard for me to get a handle on the whole thing before it was all over. Its especially tricky because you are constantly changing the entire time!
And, healthy or not, I have this way about me where I just want to get things right.
So I picked up a Maternity Style book at my new library (Actually I check it out electronically, even cooler!) to help me accomplish my mission of getting the most out of my new figure during this second pregnancy.

It was a helpful read, even if I didn't really agree with all her points.
(Example, she is all about belly bands, and I am not... I think its just my shape, but they do not stay on me. I go straight into maternity pants -- why not?
Also she suggests getting "transitional pants" after the baby, where as I think its better to just wear your maternity pants till the normal ones work. I tried buying some pants in that in-between phase last time, but I just thought it looked dumb because if it fit my waist, everything else was really baggy. So I just looked dumpy.)

Anyway, I thought I would share the knowledge I just acquired with you. Because I know there are others out there hoping to accomplish this same goal: Great fashion, with the least impact on the wallet!


*As with everything in life, go with what works for you. This is just a general guideline.
**I don't claim to adhere to all of this myself. But I do find it very insightful.

Here goes!


***This post has recently gotten a ton of views after blowing up on pinterest. I had no idea anyone would find it, and as a novice blogger (basically putting this post together for my own benefit, as I really didn't know what I was doing in the pregnancy wardrobe department) I didn't cite my photos. I am currently attempting to make that right -- But I put this post together almost an entire pregnancy's length-of-time ago, so I don't remember where they all came form. If you know of any, please let me know and I will cite it. (11/12/12)

First Trimester

Pack away your skinny jeans and all your (not-stretchy) form fitting clothes.

Your main objective for these first three months is to conceal.
(Not everyone is trying to keep their pregnancy under wraps initially. But what we are concealing is the random body changes and bloat, which is just not cute yet.)

Your new clothing silhouette should be: 

Drapey, flowy and ethereal.

Time to take the focus off the midsection and attempt to elongate your figure.

Its just not time to wear your adorable clingy maternity clothes yet. Wait on those until you have a real bump. (Usually around 19 weeks or so.)

Your Current Best Bets

Wrap Dresses

(Added bonus, size is adjustable)

25 Weeks Pregnant

The Belly:
It measures about a half inch bigger by the end of the week.
I feel official. Like no one would second guess I'm pregnant at this point. Not saying they wouldn't have figured it out, like last week or something. But I just mentally feel, physically official now. Perhaps its the pregnant swagger I'm starting to strut.

Just got back from swimming laps = wet hair.

(Edited in on 11/15/12: So, my "What to wear while pregnant" post went viral and now everyone seems to be clicking on this post to, basically see who I am. Who knew that this {likely one of the worst of my weekly pregnancy photos} would be looked at by so many people. Ha! Totally humbling! 

Thanks for stopping by, please don't put too much stock in the fact that I posted a "How to look awesome post" and then immediately look pretty much like a total mess (pajama-like dress, wet hair, no makeup!) in the post you clicked on. lol. I'm so loving this pinch of humiliation. :) 

To be honest with you, I didn't try very hard to get my fashion-act together with this pregnancy. I spent it studying pregnancy, and nutrition, and exercises, and all things VBAC. My first daughter was born VIA c-section after an induction, and my heart's cry was for a natural VBAC this time.

I really dove in hard after the answers I needed.

I did go on to have a really great VBAC with an amazing care team.

I learned a LOT of things I wish I had known the first time and I share them all along the way about all sorts of things.

I really hope you will look into my "Healthy Pregnancy" section (up in the tab on the top right) because I'd love it if you could benefit from it in any way, and have an awesome pregnancy and delivery.

*And just so you know, I've now experience the gambit of birthing styles, so it is the furthest thing from my heart to make anyone feel pressure or guilt in regards to how their baby is born -- becoming a mother is amazing no matter what!*

***********
Edited in on 12/9/14: This post is still getting a lot of views, so I thought I would let you know we are expecting baby #3 now. If you wanna see if I got my fashion act together or not, and what we are up to now, (perhaps renovating a house) you can check out some of the new posts on that. )
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My belly button tried to pop this week. The top of it stuck out all funny. (I was seriously surprised, because my belly button never ended up popping last time.) But then it went away. I guess someone was pressing on it for a while. But its been feeling really shallow for at least a month now. So maybe I'm in for an outie this time around. We'll see.

Side note, the hips have grown another inch. For a grand total of 3 inches for baby.

"Beebee"

(Her Pjs are hilarious, they are very saggy! And she is wearing her black patent dress up shoes, that she pairs with everything!)

Physically:
I feel much better this week than last. The occasional round ligament ouch, and the random hip pain upon standing sometimes. But overall I'm not anywhere near as achey. I think its due to not being sick (finally!) and also being a lot more aware of how and how often I am lifting J.
Rolling over in bed is starting to feel like a chore. And to be honest that freaks me out, cause I know I have a long way to go.
My feet swelled for the first time this week. I just sat still for too long. But it was really funny because I was sitting there kinda just thinking "hmm something seems different." Then when I got up, it felt even more unusual. When I looked down and saw my chubby toes, I said out loud with total revelation, "Ooohhhh!" and Blake was like "what!?" and I tried to explain the very surprising realization that I was pregnant and my feet are big.
The only really rough thing this week was: for some reason, early (3am) Sunday morning I was woken up by some terrible indigestion and immediate need for the bathroom. I don't think it was what I ate, just a random pregnant thing. That happened to me a couple times with J too. But it was usually after eating something greasy. And I didn't have anything greasy this time. hmm. I didn't really feel recovered from that until around noon on Sunday.

Food:
I don't feel overly hungry at this point.
I keep doing the thing where nothing sounds good so I put off eating for a while, and then I get to the point where I HAVE to eat because now I have not eaten for too long, and then I panic because I extra don't want to eat anything because in this state everything sounds gross. Its frustrating.

Baby:
She's getting really strong. Monday night I felt her the most I've ever felt her. That feeling where you think she might be able to burst her way out. I had Blake feel her and he was like "woah" --- for at least 20 mins straight.
Got the official word Monday morning that she is, in fact, head down! Yay! I can't even express to you the sweet rush of relief that swept over me at the moment.
I had been thinking that's how all her movements felt to me. But I needed to know for sure, so that I have no less thing to worry over during this pregnancy.
And we are measuring on track with uterus size.
So good news all around.

J: 

She's started saying "Help you" (sounds like hep-pu) whenever she wants some help with something, or when she wants to help you with something. 

And when she pulls on me and I say, "Do you want me to come with?" She replies, "Me." (meaning: You, Mommy.)

So basically her "you's and me's" are not so correct. :) I think its adorable.

When we microwave her food, we count down for her, so she knows its almost done. So now whenever the microwave is on she can be heard saying, very excitedly, things like, "Eigh, twelve, teeteen, teeteen, teeteen, ten, three." Followed by "All done!" and clapping when it beeps. :) 

She's been rediscovering blowing raspberries, and cracking herself up. She'll just start doing it and then burst out laughing, and then do it all over again... over and over.

She's been getting really good at singing. She's getting the words right to lots of songs. And she's even working on her pitch. You can hear her, she moves the note until she is sure its right, and it is. I'm quite impressed.

This may sound silly, but I've been really excited this week because she's started consistently feeding herself. Like scooping the food herself and putting it into her mouth without any help. I know that's like light years behind most kids, but J's just had a way of taking her time getting into food and all of its surrounding details. Up until this point she would mainly ask for help with everything, even though I knew she had the skills. This week she's finally wanting to do it on her own. And wow, does that make things simpler for me. I can actually get the dishes done while she's in the chair, or eat my own food! Its so nice!

Just got a bunch of goodies in the mail from Granana. Including a Tinkerbell doll and night gown! Her own necklace. A new headband. Doesn't get much better than that!

Here she is trying to put Tinkerbell's shoes on her feet!

Emotionally:
     Had a total freak out fest again, like on Wednesday or Thursday. I just was dying to get the interview done with this provider so I could have some semblance of settledness. And Friday was a really long wait for me. So I freaked out about everything, across the board.
     The interview went really well. She put me at ease, and seemed to really understand what happened last time with my overdue-ness and labor and delivery with J. She had some wonderful suggestions for this time around. And seemed really capable, as well as trustworthy in the way of not taking risks.
So I made my official appointment with her for Monday to get my care started. (Which is the appointment I was referring to when I said I learned the baby's head down.) It went really well, and she was even more personable at this appointment.
     But then I left the appointment with a new emotional dilemma.
I'm not sure how to work out going to all these appointments while simultaneously taking care of J.
I have the ever mounting number of prenatal visits coming up (they get more frequent as the due date gets closer.) Plus I was referred to a chiropractor to help with pelvis alignment and good baby positioning. And I was recommended to a 12 week birth education class. (I'm not positive about the classes yet, but I am sold on the Chiropractor.)
     So I have all these places to be, and I don't have anyone to watch J for any of this.
So far Blake has come with me to the prenatal check ups so he can keep her corralled. I think I would be ok to bring J with me, even if he wasn't able to come. And my mom thinks I could get away with bringing her with to the chiropractor because those visits are quick. But its so much harder to focus, and I get so much more exhausted (and sweaty!) from it all, if I'm trying to be mentally present at the appointment and make sure J is behaving and have no help. Not to mention the fact that everything is 45 mins away. (Before we moved here, we were told you can find anything in Ames. We have found that to be basically totally inaccurate.  I knew that would be the case for this pregnancy and my VBAC hopeful self, but I didn't realize how far 45 mins, one way, would feel with a toddler in tow. And just how many trips that would equal.)
If I were to take those classes, I would certainly need a babysitter, I don't see how we could bring a busy toddler to a "learn how to get through labor" type setting made up of mostly first time moms.
So who's gonna watch my girl?
It'd make it easier if I was less up-tight about letting people watch her. But seriously, so far, I've had my mom close enough to do it, so I've never had to leave her with anyone but family. It feels so hard for me to be comfortable enough to leave her with anyone else. And it feels equally as hard to meet anyone here in Iowa. Its really hard to make a toddler's sleep schedule match up with anything, so getting to social type settings is really hard. Not to mention the fact that we were sick pretty much our whole first month here. So basically I don't know anyone.
Sigh.
     So yeah, I kinda freaked out again today. Because I just don't like being new any more. And it just seems so daunting to get through this pregnancy alone.

24 Weeks Pregnant

The Belly:

 

The second one is a more straight on shot, but it looks funny with me so close to the edge of the wall.

Well, as I mentioned before, I started to measure my belly a few weeks ago --- and I measure it around the belly button. I've been surprised to see that it hasn't changed any since Week 22. I was expecting a massive belly explosion between week 22 and week 27 (based on old photos.) So that probably means that its right around the corner, but I thought it would be sooner.
HOWEVER, what I have been realizing is that just measuring at the belly button, while a decent way to measure what I was investigating, is not really a good way of displaying fully belly change. Because I think my belly is getting "taller" (for lack of a better term.) I think I am bigger than at 22 weeks, just in the up and down direction. This should be rather obvious to me, since I know that's how providers measure your belly to track the baby's growth according to what week you are.

I've been going back and forth between my last pregnancy's pre-pregnant weight and the next pound up all week.

And random info, I decided to measure my hips to see what's going on there. They are two inches bigger than before this pregnancy. There's no way to figure out how much of that is straight up expansion from relaxin, and how much is additional padding I'm storing away for making milk and such later. But I'm all for the hips spreading out --- make way for baby! And it makes all the hip pains seem both explained and worth while. (Even if it is sad to see a bigger number on the tape measure --- at least its for the best cause I can think of!)


Clothes:
You may have noticed that last week's photo showed me wearing pants!
I don't know, I just got up that morning and thought, "I'm a normal person, I can wear pants. Pants sound nice." And so I put them on.
That lasted all of 3 hours.
(And honestly it would have been a much shorter stint, but J was sitting on my lap, and I didn't feel like kicking her off, so I gave her a chance to get up on her own before I went to change.)
I think I have given up on pants altogether for this pregnancy.
New baby has already tucked herself deeply into my pelvis (oh please say that's your head!) so I'm already experiencing what I experienced at the end of my last pregnancy, where having the pressure of pants on my super-duper-low-waist (well its not really my waist at all -- its right where maternity pants go from panel to pants) just feels awful, especially when sitting and the pants kinda naturally cave into that spot. (And I also wonder if pants feel kinda yucky to baby too if that's where she is hanging out.)
So yeah. Dresses. That's it. Its official. That's what you can expect from now on. Good thing I have acquired a nice amount of them.
(Maybe some of my shorts will be better. But I'm doubtful.)



Physically:
I definitely feel bigger this week.
I am an achey breakey lady.
I'm really hoping this is due to the fact that this week I somehow seriously caught the 3rd cold since living here. (How is that even possible?!? That's right, this is NOT the cold I talked about last week. Its a NEW ONE!!! I can't believe it!) And so I hope that this is not a reflection of the way I will feel every week until July. Because I feel like I can't possibly be to the sore stage of this pregnancy yet! That would just be cruel, since I've put so much work into being smaller this time, and then I would be getting sore earlier than last time!

Other than my throat hurting, my nose being runny and stuffy, and my ears feeling full...I've also had a lot of dull backaches, and hip hurts, and the weird indescribable location of the "back-butt-hip" pain surges.
I think some of this is just because when you are sick you are achey. But I also think a lot of it is from carrying J around. We went on a long walk on Saturday because the weather was awesome, and J kept asking for "momma" to carry her.... the next day I was sooo sore. So I think I'm gonna have to start letting her be sad and not held so often. (Which I guess would have to happen eventually, now or once new baby gets here, might as well ease her into it.)
{I keep telling myself that this is a ridiculous thought, but when I get the dull backaches, I can't keep myself from thinking, "Wait, don't they say labor can start with a dull backache? I'm not in preterm labor am I?"
Why is this ridiculous? Well for one thing I couldn't get labor started NO MATTER WHAT I TRIED last time, up until I was induced at 42 weeks --- so one of my biggest fears is that I WON'T go into labor again. So how am I simultaniously afraid of going into preterm labor?  I don't know. Seriously. I don't know. Its also ridiculous because I know full well that back aches come with pregnancy. I'm just being over dramatic, as is par for the course of this pregnancy.}

I've been having a really hard time sleeping this week. I think its the cold. Its also my brain. At night time I've been getting stuck on all these distressing thoughts, and I end up just staying up for hours processing them. And all the while my hips are aching --- it's frustrating to need to lay on my side, because the weight on my hips makes them hurt more, and then I notice that instead of sleep. Plus with all the colds we are having, J hasn't been sleeping through the night anymore. I've been having to go in with her about twice a night. I'm hoping that once we get through this week we will all be healthy enough to start working on sleeping through the night again. (Because as much as I know its sickness, it's also starting to be partially just out of habit that she is waking up.)
Then when J lays down for a nap, I take one too, and I get into this REALLY deep sleep, and then it basically reinforces my messed up sleep schedule, by making me not-so-tired by bedtime. (But skipping the nap seems impossible with feeling sick and being pregnant, and needing to take care of a toddler.)
Its a rough spiral effect.




Food:
This week has been a strange combo of very healthy and very unhealthy food.
One day this week I had Arby's for lunch followed by Panera for dinner, thats a lot of eating out. We also ordered pizza this week -- outstandingly delicious, but really hard to digest.
But when we weren't eating that stuff, I made homemade lentil soup, and also had a few boiled eggs in the mix of the week.
I'm frustrated because I need to be getting protein in, but meat is still my least favorite thing to eat. Grr. It just tastes like blubber to me.
I think I need to just find new ways of cooking it. (I tried shiskabobs Monday night, and I actually really liked that, even the meat! So yay!.)
I keep trying to tell myself its just a few more months.
Maybe I will make some bean spread to dip veggies in, that would be good nutrition.

I know that I am going to get more and more strict with my diet as my due date gets closer, and the baby is at the stage where they are packin on the pounds. (Aiming for a seven pounder if I have any say on the matter.)

That said, I'm really looking forward to July, when I intend to indulge in one of those BIG cake sized cookies with frosting on it. (That's going to be eaten asap after the baby comes out) (I'll share, but I have dibs on the majority of it!) As well as a milkshake, and a coke slushy, and maybe like a whole loaf of some sort of bread (banana bread is sounding great right now). And whatever else I start craving and won't be eating in the coming months!  Not all at once, what do you take me for!? A starving pregnant lady!?  ;)   Just... you know, in the days when I'm done trying to keep baby #2 smaller than baby #1 at birth.
Then, sad times again, when I will have to get back on track again to get the weight off. Sigh.




Baby:
     THIS is how I remember feeling baby kicks when I think of pregnancy. The good strong movements that can shake your belly around.
     The other day J was sitting on my lap and kinda resting her elbow heavily into my belly, and new baby just kept kicking her and kicking her. J was oblivious. I kept trying to show her and tell her it was her sister. And J was into saying baby. But she totally missed the kicks. But I thought it was really cute. I felt like they were already interacting.
     New Baby seems to be quite awake at night now. Which is fine by me. It never bothered me with J when she would play at night, I'm good at sleeping through it. And new baby's movements aren't what's been keeping me up lately.
      Last night she was doing these impossible to describe crazy things, way down low inside. I hadn't felt her lower parts move much this week, just her feet (I'm hoping those are feet) up by my ribs. So I started to wonder if I made it up last week ,about feeling her being down really low in my pelvis. But then all of a sudden last night she was doing all sorts of crazy stuff and I knew I had in fact not made up anything. In order to try and describe the crazy sensations I'll have to do my best to imagine what she is doing. And it seems to me, that she has her head wedged down pretty tight against everything, but yet she was trying to get her hands into her mouth even though there isn't much space around her face. It just felt crazy. I put Blake's hand on it, and he was really impressed with how much he could feel. It seemed odd to me to put his hand down so low in order to feel the baby. I don't remember ever putting his hand there to feel J move. (I'm going to reasure myself that this equates to only good things in regards to her getting down low enough to help labor start later.) (She's also already on my bladder, so me and the bathroom are well acquainted these days.)
      Anyway, I think the fact that she plays all night has her sleeping in the morning. Because normally I swim in the morning around 6:30am, and I never feel her then. I always wonder if the swimming rocks her to sleep, or if its just her would-be sleep time, or if maybe I'm just too focused to notice her move if she actually is moving. But this week the pool is closed in the mornings for spring break, so Blake is being kind enough to come home for lunch and watch J, so I can still get it in to my week. So today, as I swam at noon, I felt new baby move while swimming for the first time. It was kinda cool. But she was mostly still. I keep wondering how my swimming will affect the ways she likes to be soothed once she is out.



Emotionally:
I'm gonna be honest. I sucked this week. Poor Blake. I was crabby, and just full of nonsense.
Me and J getting sick for the 3rd time in a row just really did me in. (Blake got sick too, and that made me feel bad for him, as well as feel overwhelmed because my back up co-parent was out of commission.) It was all too much for me. I felt even more lonely here, because I knew I was all alone with no help for watching J. Plus it meant another week of being super stuck in the house (which was growing messier by the day) and no hope of even attempting to make friends.

With all the sickness I only made it to the gym twice last week. And I've noticed a dramatic downward shift in my mood without getting those endorphins. So that didn't help any.

Then I got disappointed because that appointment I was getting ready for, with one of my baby-having-options, got moved back because they needed to be at a birth. So I didn't get any answers to my questions.  So I will be living in "I-don't-know-who-is-helping-me-have-this-baby-limbo" for another week. (Friday is my new appointment.) And limbo is one place I am done with. Well, I'll still be in limbo about which part of me this baby will ultimately exit from, until she is out. But that is ENOUGH limbo for me. The rest of my life has been in a state of limbo for long enough with this move and everything. I'm ready to get some stuff nailed down.

Once I do nail down my provider of choice for this delivery, I'm not looking forward to explaining my choice and all it's details to family and friends. Its not that anyone will be mean to me, its just that they care about me, and well... having a baby in general comes with risks,  and everyone wants the best for me and new baby, so fears arise. And I have enough fears of my own to deal with, I don't know how well I will be able to alleviate anyone else's. And I'm really unsure of how I'll be able to not become even more full of fearful thoughts as I answer questions upon questions about "what if this..." "what if that..."
(This is why I'm unsure of how much of this stuff I will be sharing on the blog. I think I can only handle telling those closest to me until all is said and done.)
I don't have any way to see the future, I can't really answer anyone's questions, including my own. I just have to take what I know and make the choices that seem best for me and the baby, and then work with what my circumstances hand me. My choices might not seem best to everyone. And my circumstances may not be what I, or other's expect. And that's the hard part of life. We each have our own story, and sometimes we wish we could somehow have more control than that.




J:

Let's see.
She finally got tired of hummus.  So this week she's been eating baked beans and tons of peaches. Also pickles.

She did okay at church this week.  Tears after she got dropped off and just before she got picked up but that's pretty standard for a toddler.  I just hope she's getting more accustomed to our new life here and feeling more comfortable in there in the middle.

She's constantly getting more and more interested in babies, which is great.
I asked her this week what we should name new baby.  Since we've been stuck on names.
I said, "Should we just name her baby?"
And J said, "Baby!"
"Do you think we should name her something better than baby?"
And J responded exuberantly shouting, "Buddy!!!" (One of my mom's dogs.)

Later in the week I started asking her to say some of the names we were thinking about. That can be a really cute past time. Her little voice saying some of those names is enough to sell me on them for sure. (Although I'm not sure what new baby will think about that when she gets older. So I don't think that should be the official reason we choose a name, just because 20 month old J says it really stinkin adorably.) But you would be surprised how many names I ask her to say, that end up coming out of her mouth as "Tinkerbell!" (Pronounced Ti-ta-bell.)

Swimming Through It

Swimming has turned into my sanity saver.
In more ways than one.
Here is my random semi-poetic, partial prose, (in no particular order) musings on it all.

The basics:
Its really nice to just get out of the house, alone, on a regular basis.
It gives me a chance to reset.
It gives me the feeling of belonging --- that I actually have somewhere to go in this town. A place that is mine.
It gives me a chance to start recognizing faces here, even if I don't actually interact with them too much.
It gives me a routine, in a stage of life that can be so void of routine.
It gives me a reason to change my clothes, other than just the idea that I should.


Going deeper:
Today I realized,
that when I'm moving in the water I feel pretty.
Honestly that's kinda laughable, because there I am make-up-less, with bedhead tucked into a swim cap. But its true. I feel really feminine in the water.
I get to move the way I want to move.
Smoothly.
With Fluidity.
With more style than I would on land.
I get to twist.
I get to stretch.
I get to reach.
I am suspended.

via

And in that moment, the only thing I have to do is move.

Nothing else.

I don't have to plan.

I don't have to be in charge. Of anything.

I don't have to have any answers.

I love to move slowly. 

I am in no hurry.

I choose to breathe as often as I like.

I don't hold it.

Take and release

When I am in need.

I don't put my head down,

not in the water.

Eyes up.

But ears in.

Back and forth,

My lips slide through the water

To reach the air again.

I don't try and swim to get it right.

I swim to feel.

I don't know what I look like.

If others say "Did she start this for the first time yesterday?"

It doesn't matter,

I've given myself the chance to swim for me

And not 

for anything else.

And in the physical

I find my heart.

As it beats

It grows secure.

And I feel,

If only for the moment,

totally fine.

And for someone who is freaking out all the time, feeling like I can't make the "right choice" and feeling like I don't know anything, having 30 minutes a day of that kind of rest is worth more than I can say. Honestly, without the soliloquy, it really is invaluable to me in the state that I am in. 

Blake, as well, has noticed that when I am not able to get the time to do this, my emotions are way more out of control. I think with the combination of hormones I am pumping out to nurture this life, mixed in with the reservations I have about bringing this life out into the world, I actually need the balancing effects of physical activity and their stress reducing endorphins. 

This comes as a really big surprise to me, because I never was one to really value physical activity.

For most my adolecent and young adult life I couldn't care less about it. In between my pregnancies I learned it was worthwhile for fitness. But to be honest, it didn't really have a calming effect on me. At times it was exhilarating or refreshing. But often times working out was emotionally difficult for me, as I worked on both my postpartum figure, and my post c-section heart. There were many times I would absolutely dread getting myself to the pool because of the emotional difficulty. So I still didn't fully grasp that there were emotional benefits to excise. In hindsight I'm sure there was a LOT of emotional healing I encountured through my physical excursion, regardless of the pain I felt, since there was so much that I needed to work through.

But now, in the place I am in, I am just realizing how my heart is in need of care from many angles. I've always been one to put value on the emotional and spiritual aspects of my life, but now I'm starting to see that God was really intricate in the way he interlaced it all together. And I really do think He intended us to get a balancing effect emotionally from using our bodies. Science backs this up.

So with the level of stress and uncertainty I am experiencing in my emotions, and with the strain I feel from that on my faith, the physical is currently taking center stage by keeping me from falling apart.

And so in this interlaced way, the realization and actualization of one piece of me is bringing confidence to another.  To know that God would leave that kind of safety net out there for me (or anyone for that matter) when without it I would be lost, makes me know He is trustworthy. In the times where my emotions will not allow my heart to trust, my body has begun seeking His face.

And He made it all possible.

This whole idea sounds really strange to my ears, honestly. 

But that's where I am.

He's surprising.

He really is.

__________________________

* Click here for more of my healthy pregnancy tips.

(Update 11/16/12: After staying active through my pregnancy, employing other helpful things (from my healthy pregnancy tips), and with HIS goodness, I did go on to have a safe and healthy VBAC. Because of my fitness level and my healthy diet, I also was able to keep my weight gain down to 32 lbs this time, as opposed to the 41 lbs I gained in my first pregnancy. 

You can read my birth story here.)

23 Weeks Pregnant

The Belly:

Hasn't grown any on the tape measure.
And I actually, called it too soon last week when I said I was at my 1st pregnancy's pre-pregnant weight. (It must have been a bloated day.) Right now I'm still a pound under that. (I doubt anyone cares, this is just for me and my sorta records. If we have any more babies, I like knowing how the weight went on in the pregnancies before. Gives me piece of mind.)
I'm feeling good about the pace the weight is going on. I'm right on track to where I wanted to be. (Ok well, I mean, I don't think I'm gonna be gaining the low end of the recommended weight gain -- so of course achieving that would be cooler, but I'm still in the on track zone. And that is music to my ears.)



Physically:
I've still been getting over that darn cold this week. (Its pretty much gone now, with a bit of runny nose.)

I had a couple days of my body being really sore this week. My back hurt and my hips were out of control. I was walking really hobble-ly through the store on Thursday.
I was really frustrated with that because I was afraid I was gonna be that way until July. But I'm better again.
I'm not sure what that was about. I had started working on my squats -- to be ready for labor. (Which I had intended on starting right away when I hadn't gained any weight yet, so it would be easier to start with. But hey whatever, at least I am starting now, so I still have months to get strong.) So I don't know if those were making me feel those sore body pains. Which Blake tells me shouldn't happen if I am doing them right. So maybe I was doing them with bad form. But I also wonder if it might just be kinda hard on my back, since I have a baby belly, and guys will never understand that... I have been trying to do them right!

I've been so thirsty at night! Its really annoying because that is when I don't want to have to pee any more than necessary. But I think I've been slacking off on getting enough water in during the day, so it comes back to haunt me at night. I'm gonna start really paying attention to how many glasses of water I have throughout the day, to make sure I'm hydrated.



Food:
I haven't been feeling pregnant-hungry lately. I just feel normal-Lydia-hungry. (Which has been nice.)
I'm actually not all that interested in food this week. Not a whole lot sounds appealing.
The only thing that I have been wanting to eat is homemade quesadillas. And if that doesn't sound good, I've been eating one of my classic foods (pregnant or not) dry oatmeal mixed with peanut butter accompanied by a glass of milk.
Other than that, I pretty much don't want to eat it!
I will admit to eating a small bowl of mint-brownie-chip ice cream two times this week. Honestly, the taste was just so-so. I was really into the cold creamy feeling. (Any ideas on how to replicate such a mouth feel without using ice-cream?)
I have been craving Starbucks peppermint mocha. (I have it with about 1/3 - 1/4 the syrup. Both for the less sugar health aspect, but also now because my tastes have grow to like having less sweetness.) I indulged twice with that this week too! Although I plan to cut back to my normal use of Starbucks, which is just a rare treat. For health, but also the pure cost of the stuff!!



Baby:
I can tell she is no longer laying sideways in my belly, but is now up and down in there. To be honest, I've been sorta obsessive-compuslively trying to figure which side is which. Is her head down? Is that her feet or her hands?
YES! YES, I know, she does not need to be in there the right way yet, there is plenty of time before it matters. But has that stopped me from being ridiculous? No!
Part of what started me on the train of thought was the fact that I could feel her really low down in my pelvis. I felt this twisting kinda grinding back and forth, down there. And so I innocently wondered, "Wow is that her head down that low already?" But as soon as that thought occurred, it promptly turned into craziness. Every time I felt anything, I would try and over analyze it and visualize what it was.

As far as the baby sensations: I'm feeling the low grinding feeling sometimes. (Way more often earlier in the week.) Some little feelings down low (thinking hands?) and big hard moves under my right ribs (thinking feet.)

*This goes in both the "baby" section and the "feeling" section. But I've been feeling frustrated at myself for being more focused on how to get the baby out, than on who the baby is. I feel like I can't really remember I'm having a baby, just that I am facing down a really intense fear, and that in July I will be taking care of a small person when all is said and done.
In efforts to turn my thoughts on to her, rather than her birth, I started looking at baby shoes. Its a small step, but I thought it might help. I bought a pair online this morning. So I'm looking forward to seeing them in person in a bit.



Feeling:
Woah. That's a loaded question this week.
Read on if you dare. Its a long bumpy ride this week.

As you can see, I've been weird about the baby's position. Why? Well you know why... I've learned that the baby's position is a pretty big deal, since J's head position is what kept her from making her way out on her own. (Just the way her head was tilted, kept her from making it down two more inches.)
So with that said, you know I've been emotional over these thoughts this time!
I spent waay too much time on baby-having websites trying to figure things out that I can't figure out. Stressing the crap out of myself!

I'm trying to both reassure myself on having this baby, while simultaniously coming up with all the questions I can possibly have for my meeting that I'm having on Wednesday with one of my "having-this-baby options" (in the way of care providers.) Which involves asking questions about worst case scenarios. Always fun topics to think about!

So I've ended up not only getting myself scared of having another c-section, but also worrying if I am strong enough to go through labor again!
mmm...is there a third option?
"Ahhh why did I think I should host another baby inside me? Ahhh!! I have to get her out!! Ahhhh!"

Then I ended up telling myself to stop being so scared because "if you are scared all the time you are gonna mess your hormones up and keep yourself from going into labor, or keep yourself in fear through out labor messing things up while its happening."
And you know that's a great thing to tell someone who is scared -- "Don't be scared of the scary stuff, because then it get's even scarier!"
Oh boy!

And I can't seem to keep my faith stable. Every time I have a "yay God" kinda moment, three seconds later I freak out again.

I feel like I seriously need to go to some kind of counseling to work through my craziness. (And no that is not an over-dramatic-Lydia-statement. That is a serious, I mean it statement.)
But I don't know where to turn for my specific stuff. (If you have legitimate ideas on the subject, I'm all ears.)
I've asked if our church does counseling, and it doesn't seem like they do. But I might be able to meet with someone and at least talk to them. I'm emailing someone about that.
But I almost want to find a "help me have this baby boot camp" I can go away to for a couple weeks or something!

Also, Sunday I started feeling (probably hormonal for one thing, but also) really lonely. We've been here one month now. And yeah, that means we've been to church all of 3 times so why would I really know anyone yet? Its totally normal to feel really new still.
But its really hard living somewhere where you don't know anyone at all, and walking into a building full of potential friends, without really having a way to make them your friends. All while trying to not have mental breakdowns at any moment, because I am freaking out about having a baby. So I feel like I'm gonna accidentally introduce myself by blurting out "Hey I might be going crazy!" and oh yeah, "Wanna be my friend?"

And in the few appropriate moments, where it was normal to open up here, it usually turns out the same. Most people did not have my experience, so in their effort to try to help they end up telling me things I know already; and in the process they totally bypass my heart and my emotions ---- just addressing physical stuff, like who good doctors are, and ways to get labor going, and saying trust your body, or on the opposite end of the spetrum talking to me about how it would probably be nicer to just sign up for a c-section because then at least I know. I just want someone to talk to my heart, not my body. But then again... it is a strange co-exsistnace. It was my body's experience that effected my heart. But my body healed and left my heart a mess.

Anyway, so when you are trying not to have to carry around a brown paper bag for your occasional freak out fest, its really hard to try and meet people.
And its weirder when I have a baby belly. Because then someone I don't know asks me "Do you know if you are having a boy or girl?" without much more introduction. And I end up feeling automatically defensive. I just plain forget that I look pregnant. So it catches me off gaurd. The question feels oddly personal coming from a stranger. Last time I was pregnant I had someone be incredibly rude and tell me it was too bad I wasn't having a boy (in all seriousness) and I had to restrain myself from killing them. So I feel ready to pounce on anyone who could possibly say anything about not having a boy this time. (And the person asking this time is holding a boy, so I don't know, it feels more possible.) Of course she responses, "Aww two girls, how nice." (But I'm not sure I trust her to be saying what she really thinks.)
And then when the follow up question is asked, "When are you due?" and I answer "June or July" and I get the response "Oh you have a while then," makes me feel weird for two reasons:

First gut reaction: I wonder if she think I look huge or something.... and then I start to need my brown paper bag to breath in, thinking about trying to have a huge baby. And then I think, "Well if my baby is gonna be huge, and I'm huge, why am I going through all this effort to be healthy? Why not just eat everything!" Followed by feelings self consciousness attacking me at the sight of these two other moms nearby, who have teeny tiny babies and no other evidence of ever having ever been pregnant... Cause you know that sure wasn't me in the summer of 2010.

Reason #2 I feel strange hearing her response: I count the months. Four. Four months, till this baby gets here. Four months does not sound like a long time at all for all the stuff I need to sort out. And in the moment, I am specially aware that four months is not a lot of time AT ALL when thinking about trying to make any friends that could help me (a currently panic-stricken-introvert) feel comfortable in this new phase of my life, in a brand new state. Plus I mean, what kind of friend can I be for them? A messy, crazy, soon to be mommy again. I'm not bringing much to the table here.

And so I do my best to make it through this totally normal, kind conversation with a very nice person, without bursting into tears.

Then I worry through church about J being scared in her new sunday school.

And I try to make sense out of what I need to do to trust Jesus as I attempt to listen to the sermon. And I end up feeling more lost with every thought.

And then we go home.

J takes a nap.

And then I do cry.

And when the tears have drained out, that is when the second Starbucks of the week happens.

J:
Well, I already talked about our hummus situation. She's still eating the homemade stuff exclusively. (With the occasional strawberry thrown in the diet.) She's almost done smelling of garlic! yay!

She did a lot better in church this week. She danced like crazy to the music before we took her to her class. And the teacher in there said she did good (and last week they said she didn't, so they aren't just B.S.ing.) So I was glad about that.

I've been having a hard time giving her enough attention this week, when facing down all my emotions. So I've been feeling guilty about that.

She's been loving to make pillow piles on the floor and fall on them laughing.
She also loves to get into our bed at random points in the day and get under the blanket and cuddle the pillow, then look at me and say "too! too!" meaning "you get in here too!" and then we snuggle. I have to admit to LOVING this game. Its really sweet. Plus its restful. Win/Win!

She's really into colors right now. Mainly Yellow and Purple. She will just randomly outburst them as words through out the day. I've been trying to get her to say more colors. And also, to start saying the actual color of the object. Right now "yellow" or "purple" are pretty much her way of calling attention to the way something looks.

She's also drinking TONS and TONS of rice milk. I mean, seriously, she can drain one of the large containers of it in a day and a half. Its starting to get expensive. So I am attempting my second go at making homemade rice milk today.
Last time it turned out pretty good. But to make it taste like "Rice Dream" I had to add sugar. Which is weird because they don't use sugar. Their website says its sweet because of the way they process the brown rice. So I'm trying to figure that out. Because I don't want her drinking sugar all day.
So I'm going at it a bit differently this time.
(If anyone has any experience with this, let me know.)
Whenever I get this all figured out, I'll share my reciepe.

Lions and Tigers and Garlic...OH MY!

So, J has been loving "The Wizard of Oz" which she either calls "Oz" (Sounds like "ah") or "Toto." I think she watches the whole movie just for Toto. (Although she does like both the lion who roars at the beginning of the dvd, and the Cowardly Lion. She's a lion girl.)

She has also been loving hummus.
She's eaten it before and liked it. But then about two weeks ago we had dinner with our new small group and there was some hummus there. It was her choice of the evening. Loved it, and instantly started saying "hummus" ---- many times that night, and every day since.

I don't always feel like its easy to feed her since she can't have dairy, and you know toddlers, they don't always makes sense as to what they like.

So her liking being obsessed with hummus is awesome news to me. Easy, healthy and diary free.

So the other day I ran to Aldi to get our week's groceries, and hoping for some strange reason they would have magically started carrying garbanzo beans so I could make her some of this magical food. They did not have the beans. But they do sell pre-made hummus. Which was fine with me. I grabbed some. But they only had one version of it on the shelf: garlic lovers! I thought, "Oh its no big deal hummus has garlic in it."

I got it home and opened it to feed her some, and...wow yeah--- garlicky!

She loved it and ate it and ate it. ALL DAY!

Well...when I went in to get her out of her crib the next morning, the room reeked of garlic!

I tried all day to offer her any other food we had, and never mention hummus. After my long list of delicious options, she would simply say "HUMMUS!"

So two days straight of lots of garlic lovers hummus invading a 20 month old's body was starting to overwhelm both our entire house and my pregnant senses.

I sent Blake out to buy some garbanzo beans and whipped some up this morning. And very purposefully omitted ANY semblance of garlic from my batch.
Then immediately threw the store bought stuff away!


How did I make my hummus?
Its really easy.
I'm no hummus connoisseur, so this is not really the "right way" to make it. You are suposed to use tahini, which I think is sesame seeds ground into olive oil. And probably a couple other fancy things. But I just use what I have. Because it tastes good to me, and its cheaper, and simpler.

I just throw a drained and rinsed can of garbanzo beans (also called chickpeas) into my food processor with some salt, lemon juice and olive oil --- all to taste. And blend till it looks creamy. Done!

(My pregnant tongue is in love with lemon, so I went heavy on the lemon juice and it tastes like heaven!)


J accepted this homemade Hummus with just as much zeal as the store bought stinky stuff. So... all the better to smell you with, my dear!

I'm almost embarrassed to take her to church tomorrow, because I don't think the garlic is going to make it out of her pore's by then. And I feel bad for any nursery workers who have to play with her. Its really intense!
I wonder just how long its going to take to get out!! I hope its soon! I can only handle this for so much longer before I need to sign myself into the looney bin!
This experience is almost enough for me to never allow garlic into my body for fear of the torture I may be putting others through!