My mom was here last week, so this week felt a bit more lonely here in Iowa, without her. I felt more aware that I was in brand new state, and that I don't know many people here. And that I don't know anyone well.
On top of that, J was sick for the beginning of the week. So she was incredibly clingy and emotional. She wanted to spend the entire day (for days on end) on my lap. If I did so much as tell her I needed to get up and go to the bathroom, she would stand up, run away, and throw herself on the floor crying. She also wasn't sleeping well at night. The combination of these things was starting to make me question my mommy abilities, particularly in the toddler department.
Then by the end of the week, I somehow re-caught her cold (which I already had a week or two ago!) And I am still sick as I type this. I can't breathe through my nose at all, and I feel like I can't hear because my ears are so full -- its making me dizzy.
Oh and I have a lovely cold sore, to match my cold. Sigh.
So of course I have made zero progress on any of my move-in projects I have in mind. Which is not a huge deal, but it feels kinda annoying.
This week I also had a total emotional freak out over having this baby.
Maybe its hormones. But its definitely real stuff too.
I made some peace with a lot of things so, by the end of the week I'm feeling better than the start. But I still need to make a lot of decisions. And I still need to figure out a lot of logistics with our insurance and such. (I seriously dread that kinda thing.)
One fun thing from the week is that we got our couch! I ordered one from Target.com. And I was really nervous about how it would feel, but I LOVE it!
I need to do a post now on my furniture finds here in Iowa. I found some good stuff!
So that said...
It feels bigger this week, but it measures the same as last time we took a picture. I am starting to feel pregnant. Not the crazy end-of-pregnancy-pregnant. But I think I'm done being able to say "I forget I'm pregnant."
I now weigh about what my pre-pregnancy weight was with J. (I worked really hard in-between pregnancies to reach a healthy BMI.) So that is pretty reassuring, since I like to imagine how much less ginormous I will feel at the end of this pregnancy compared to last time. (Although in reality, I'm probably just gonna feel huge regardless.)
"Come on mom, lets do something fun!"
"Come here already!"
"Lets play with those toys!"
I unpacked my maternity clothes, and decided I have way too many clothes. (Both maternity/maternity usable and regular) So funny, since last time I was pregnant I was so sad to have "no clothes." I mean of course I had to buy clothes last time around, but even once I bought them I felt all limited.
I've been transformed as a person lately. I care so much less about things that used to be so important to me. And it feels fine. I think I just need a lot less stuff in general. (I'm not sure how much that is saying, since I was kinda a stuff-a-holic before.)
But yeah, I think I will be continuing my trend of dresses. But I did unpack a few other things. But I left a lot in the bin too. I just want less to think about when I get dressed.
I also need to figure out a better closet system, in my rented home. I think I may be implementing a new take on my diaper box makeover. Seems to suit me. I'll keep you updated.
At the start of the week, I was feeling like getting up from sitting was hard, and I was feeling stiff. But I think a lot of that was due to my muscles getting used to swimming laps again. Cause now at this point, I don't really feel that way anymore.
(Might I add that swimming has been the highlight of my week. It really helped me on all fronts. The endorphins I think did a lot to help calm some of my having-this-baby-nerves. Plus it gives me a nice mommy moment in the morning to get some time to myself --- I come home recharged for my day with J. And not to mention the glorious joy of taking a shower without interruption or concern.)
Sleeping has been a little harder this week, but then again, so has everything, so I don't know what to blame that on exactly. I do wake up at least twice a night to pee.
I've been cooking more this week. One of my meals with italian sausage gave me my first bout of pregnancy heartburn. Not intense, but there none the less.
The last two days I haven't been up to cooking. But Blake was nice enough to make me some delicious quesadillas.
Saturday the three of us went out to eat at Red Robin, and I treated myself to their freckled lemonade (strawberry lemonade.) I gave myself permission to have quite a few glasses. I got so full on it, I hardly had room for my meal. On the way home my tummy was very displeased. It was threatening lots of scary things, mostly an impending trip to the bathroom. It turned out to be a false alarm. But the feelings I was having the rest of the night from all that sugar was not worth it --- my treating myself turned out to be a mistreating. Good to remember for later!
My brain is too stuffy for me to recall the other stuff I've been eating.
And I can't taste much at the moment anyway.
She is suppost to weigh about a pound now. And I can feel her really well now. Blake's gotten to feel her a good number of times now.
I don't notice a pattern to her movements yet. Other than she seems to like to move right around the time I start thinking over dramatic mom things like "Oh no I haven't felt her in a while, I hope she is ok!" It's sweet of her to reassure me like that.
I also can feel her kick or punch, up much higher in my belly than I would have expected. She's nearly to my ribs already. Somehow this surprises me. I feel like that's fast.
Last night she did this crazy push against the bed. I was laying on my side, but with my belly mostly into the bed. And I think she was saying,"Umm no! I need more room!" It felt like she was trying to lift me off the bed!
Still no name picked yet!
Mostly down this week from all the sickness.
When she's sick, she wants momma!
She's feeling a lot better by the end of the week, so she's back to herself, able to play on her own and such.
She's starting to try and tell whole stories now, not just sentences. It still takes me a minute to catch on to what she's talking about, but she's really saying stuff.
She's really into wearing hats. Today she wanted to wear her hooded towel as a "hat" all day. If it fell off, she would get very frustrated and start yelling "hat! hat!" And was happy again once I helped her get it back on.
She knows how to tell me "wake up" when I start falling asleep in my sickness on the couch. (Not sure I like that skill. :) )
She also starts saying any letters she knows now when looking at words, she's trying to spell them out. Its pretty cute.
She's been pretty shy around people since we've moved. I think she's kinda overwhelmed. (Can't blame her, so am I.) I mean when you think about it, everyone she sees is someone she's never seen before. And I think she's a little worried we are gonna leave her behind. (She had a fitful time in the church nursery a bit ago.)
But I think she's kinda warming up. We brought her into the worship part of church with us this week before we took her to the nursery. And i think that helped her know where we are, plus she LOVES music. It was so cute to hear her sing and watch her clap and dance.
We also learned she loves drums! We put in an old Reliant K album in the car and as soon as it came on with all its drumming she was just laughing and laughing. She loves when we turn it on.
And the other day I was singing Jesus Loves Me to her, and she started singing a lot of it with me. It was soo cute and heart melting!
It looks like we are snuggling.
But she is trying to escape!