Monday, December 19, 2011

12 Weeks Pregnant

The Belly:
Sometimes its bigger, sometimes its the same.
(I think-- its hard to judge for myself.)
Blake says he feels it when he hugs me.

Even though I am excited to be showing, I've started to become a bit paranoid about showing too soon, just because I'm worried for what that means later. (I'm slightly obsessed with not having another 9lb baby if I can help it.) I need to take a chill pill.

hmm. Didn't realize I was so tired looking. :)
Its been a long week trying to get J to sleep. 
She's been sick and stuff, so not much sleep at all.

I feel like this is more what I see in the mirror.  (Maybe that's because I took it in the mirror! ha.)
Poochin out low, with room above.
(I carried J so high, it'd be nice if I carry lower this time. Time will tell.)

                                Dec 2009                                                         Dec 2011

I've definitely turned the corner. I'm feeling a lot better. Nausea is something that only rears its head on occasion now --- its not an all day thing anymore. It mainly acts up at night when I'm staying up way too late working on Christmas stuff and I should really eat again, and I try not to - only to give in when I feel like I might get sick. Speaking of, I haven't thrown up even once -- not last time either -- I'm not a pregnant puker I guess. (Although sometimes I wonder if once you do throw up if the nausea takes a break, and if so might it be better than the constant state I was in before.)

I've been pretty tired this week. But I think its more to do with the fact that we are just busy, and sadly J still wakes up a couple times a night (plus she ran a fever this weekend making things really really rough). And since I haven't been going to bed till really late, I'm running on a pitiful amount of sleep.
I do usually crash and burn around 6:00pm and lucky for me Blake takes over and plays games with J for an hour or so while I catch a couple winks.

My left hip has definitely been "relaxin." Its givin me ouches, especially when I got to put shoes on while standing. Oh well, grow hips grow -- get as big as you like, we want room for a baby in there.

Been loving clementines, and feeling so vitamin-full after eating them. My heart just feels like I've given my baby life elixir when I eat them. :)

Milestone: I baked a whole chicken! (And ate some!) Yeah I touched a raw whole chicken to accomplish this! Be amazed!

Food still kinda grosses me out often, but at this point its kinda a mind over matter thing. So I still am not like "free to eat what I should" but I am putting effort into really getting protein back in my diet. I keep making small choices trying to fit it in as I can stomach.
Why oh why can't I just eat Tuna all day long? I (or should I say the baby) love(s) that protein!

(Ok its later in the evening and my night time nausea is kicking in -- so that's all you get to hear about food cause now its gross to think about.)

In regards to the baby, part of me is actually really in denial. I know there is a baby in there, but I keep looking at photos of my belly last June and not being able to process that I'm pregnant now. And I can't fathom that my belly will ever get (or ever was) that big.

I'm looking forward to our dr appointment this afternoon where we get to listen for the heartbeat -- that might help. Its weird because last time I was sooo positive that I felt J move at 11 weeks, that I wasn't all that enthralled by the first heartbeat -- it was nice, but my mommy heart was like "yeah I knew my baby is in there and just fine." This time I feel like I need to hear the heartbeat to be sure I'm having a baby, even thought I'm pretty positive I am. (Hard to explain the duality of my thoughts.)

Other feelings. "Oh Christmas how I love you, but geeze lets just be done with December and January here in Champaign Urbana!"
I say that and get sad thinking about what I'm leaving, but Blake is working SO hard around the clock, never sleeping, and I just miss him. I can't wait till he gets this dumb dissertation done! It's starting to eat our essence!
I don't know if we will even know what to do with ourselves once life is settled in Iowa and we don't need to be awake and working 24 hours a day.

So since I've had phantom baby kicks since J was born, and because I'm still looking for the heartbeat to prove someone is in there --- I don't trust myself --- but I think I've been feeling regular flutters this week. Actually I'm gonna say, that yes, yes I am, cause they don't feel like anything else --- but I want to hear the heartbeat and then I will say "oh yeah, I can feel it." :)

I've been sewing like crazy, and that's been nice. :) (Its what's been keeping me up late.) I like getting some things created -- it feels nice. And I realize its gonna be a long time, once July comes, before I get to be so productive again.

The big update with J this week is that she is officially healthy!

She was born jaundice, like plenty of babies. And it wasn't even bad enough for her to go under the lights, but... instead of clearing up like it should, it was still there at 5 weeks. So they did some blood work and a (literal) baby sonogram (they checked her belly, just the way they checked mine when she was in me. It was so strange for me to watch her sonogram outside of me.)  to make sure her liver was ok. The sonogram came back good. (Super good news!) But her blood work showed the elevated bilirubin and some elevated thyroid numbers and pituitary gland numbers.
Our doctor was so great and didn't want to do anything invasive -- praise the Lord, because we didn't either!
So we have been regularly drawing her blood her whole little life to watch those numbers.
They have steadily come down.
And yesterday at our final visit with this doctor her numbers were all in the normal range.
Its so wonderful to hear.
We may (or may not) need to do another blood work test down the line to check on things, but she's a numbers-prove-it-healthy girl! 
We are very happy. :)


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