The New Kitchen Light

As you know, we bought our house with intentions of fixing it up. There was a lot of “interesting” going on (this picture really boasts much of that -- wallpaper, wallpaper, YELLOW!) So the florescent light in the kitchen, while not my ideal look, was far, far, far down on my list of things to change.

 But apparently my house was more sick of it than I was, because one night it detached half of it from the ceiling! Rather than go through the work of getting re-attched safely, we just took it down. And I started online shopping for a new one.  Let me tell ya, there are not a lot of good options for 8’ ceilings, when it will be your only source of light for the space. (As in I don’t have pinterest-kitchen standard recessed lighting, so that there can be a barely bright accent light, just for beauty.)  

After tons and tons and tons of online shopping. 

And some pretty notable frustraition on the subject,

I found this light.

But it was out of stock, everywhere I looked.

I wasn’t sure this was “the ultimate light” but for the constraints I was working with (need as much light as possible, need as much head room as possible but don’t really like flush mount lights, aiming towards a kind-of-sort-of farmhouse look) I thought it was the best I could come up with.

Although admittedly the nickel needed to be oil rubbed bronze to match my other light, and feel farmhouse-y. But ORB spray paint is the most convincing of the metal spray paints, so I thought I could make it happen.

But like I said, out of stock. So no dice.

Then after kind of giving up for a while, I re-searched and saw there was suddenly “1 left” on amazon.

I was nervous (I put too much pressure on getting things right) but Blake and I finally (and quickly, incase someone else was wanting it too) said “just buy it.”

I ordered and waited.

Then when I opened the box, it was kinda bent and kind of tarnished.

Now what?

It was still out of stock, so sending it back would leave me back at square one.

I didn’t like square one.

So I got in touch with Amazon and they said if I’d like to keep it they’d give me a 30% discount.

After thinking it over for like a week, we deiced we could bend it back (good enough) and I had wanted to spray paint it anyway, so the tarnish was no biggie and that it was still worth the new price to us. (In case you follow the link to see the light on Amazon, for some reason they have upped the price on this light, even though it’s currently out of stock. Our price for this light after our damaged discount was about $100.)

After I officially gave word to Amazon that we wanted to keep it, I took it outside to spray paint.

You guys, I was kinda close to hyperventilating. I love to spray paint thrifted things. But I’ve never spray painted something brand new. This was the most expensive thing I’ve ever spray painted. And to make matters worse the last two (separate) attempts of mine to use spray paint went poorly due to faulty cans. So before I started this light I had pray and to do some very purposeful breathing.

Thankfully, it went really well this time. And I was very happy with the finish on the light.

And over the weekend I got our ceiling painted (it was green where the light used to be) and Blake hung the light.

(I should have done more work to the ceiling -- it needs to be mudded and sanded to get a better finished smooth look. But sometimes you admit that you have a baby and you’d rather just have a light on your ceiling than have things be perfect -- that you’ll have to double back later, and that’s ok.)

So here it is! Pretty ain’t she?

For dramatic effect, let’s revisit where we started out with the rooms:

And here we are today (sorry it’s “lived in” not cleaned up fancy style):

It’s hard to get an angle to show how the lights play together. 

Feels pretty good!

We still wanna paint the cabinets and change the range hood and range.
But we’ve made major progress in here!

Postpartum Outfit 1.2

I’m showing you another one of my outfits right now.

You’ll notice my go to outfit these days is a high waisted shirt and a button down shirt. There are other things I wear and like too. But this is my favorite combo. Comfy, cute, nursing friendly, and flexible size-shifting-wise.

As I discussed with you in my last outfit post: My tricky postpartum issue is that normally I’m an hourglass figure, and the clothing tips for that are all “Show the waist” because if you don’t it adds a lot of visual weight to your body. But postpartum the waist, while it does go in on the sides, goes out where the baby used to live. Most postpartum advice is loose-ness to cover that up. But then, there goes the waist as well -- which at this stage adds a lot of visual weight. But I think what might be worse than the visual weight, is just that fact I don’t feel like myself in those waist-baggy outfits (it’s not what I’d ever wear normally)-- and so I just always feel messy and not put together.

So it’s taken me till baby #3 to really feel like I’ve gotten a grasp on dressing postpartum.

(Now, for family and friends who are worrying over my heart and/or sanity -- I’m not obsessing over this for emotional reasons. It’s just that I have a lot of engineers in my family tree, so my mind defaults to “why” --- “Why does that work?", “Why doesn’t that work?” “Let me fix it." But my interests lie in girly things -- so I’m engineering outfits. I’m not feeling bad about myself and trying to hide. I’m pursing a mental hobby.)

I’ve tried to look for experts on dressing your body shape and their thoughts on this scenario. Sadly no one has shared such a thing. Its like this “problem" is unsolvable. I even asked an expert on her blog how to handle an hourglass figure postpartum. When I saw she responded I got so excited!! I thought I was about to get some massive wisdom lightbulb fireworks. But what she shared was essentially,  “Wear spanx.” (Actually any brand of shapewear.) Not exactly what I was looking for.

But in a weird way that encouraged me that I was on the right track. It said to me, “Postpartum or not…hourglass-es you have to highlight the waist to flatter your body in clothes.”

So the goal now lies in getting my clothes to go in at the sides, while not making too big of a fuss over the belly. This being my 3rd baby, I think I have a lot more grace for the left over bump. I know its temporary. I know anyone who’s opinion matters to me, knows I have a new baby, they get the bump’s existence. 

By the way -- I always actually wear my hair up -- little fingers pull hard!

And  If people make eye contact with my belly I don’t take it personally -- I know its a curiosity because postpartum figures are so often left unaddressed or hidden from view -- people are just interested in it -- I like to assume it’s in the same “how does that work?” kind of mind frame I’m in. Honestly it wouldn’t make a lot of physical sense if the belly went away on instant, like we wish it would. I think people want to confirm physical sense exists, because magazines say it doesn’t (mom had baby yesterday, back in bikini today) and people are just are checking the math on reality when they look me over. I don’t fault them for that. 

Anyway, bla bla bla….outfit!

This skirt is something I altered/made from a way-too-large free skirt I had after my first baby. As I shared in this post money was so tight with our first babies I really couldn’t spend money on postpartum clothes. So this skirt was literally worn as often as possible, if it wasn’t in the wash it was on my body because nothing fit me. (Which is why I wrote that 'What I wish I Knew - Clothes’  post -- if only I knew to save my money as a single lady to afford clothes as a mom.)

The skirt works because 1) It’s comfy. 2) It has a wide waist band that is fitted to the small part of my waist.

You can still see my belly from the side. But I’m alright with that -- its kinda like the reverse of ‘work what your momma gave ya.'

(I might be switching this skirt out soon for a black one I hope to have time to sew. Black matches more of the stuff in my closet.)

My shirt is a Portofino from Express.

     ‘The Mom Edit’ convinced me that this is an excellent postpartum option. Only the ladies on that site seem to treat money as no object when shopping. I do not. 

     Express does put them on sale regularly -- but I wanted to save more. So to be thrifty I went into Express and tried some on to see what fit me (I’m wearing a Large) and the general styles I like print-wise (I don’t like ones where the pockets get outlined, or draw a lot of attention -- it makes my nursing sized chest look strange.) And then I shopped for a deal on one, on ebay. MUCH more affordable.

I like to blouse the shirt out a bit in the back.

Why is the shirt a good postpartum option? Well it’s a button down -- those are great for nursing. The drape of the fabric is very flattering. When you wear it untucked (with pants or shorts), it floats in at the sides, but hovers over a belly.
The sleeves are made to roll up, which does the thing where the sleeve length draws your eye to the small part of the waist.
And it’s a bit long-ish, so it’s ALMOST ok with leggings. (Not really on me, but if you have great legs and thick (non-see thru) leggings it’d work.)

Why it’s not my favorite, favorite postpartum shirt -- it’s polyester, not cotton. So I haven’t been able to wear it on warm days and not feel way too sweaty. But I think for fall and winter I’ll really like it.

I also have this shirt in a solid color (Hot Coral) and I think I like how that one looks better. But I can’t wear it as confidently because it not only shows wetness pretty obviously. Milk and spit up actually dries darker too until washed. (I’m not sure if all solid portofinos do this. I’m thinking each fabric kinds does it’s own thing.) So I think I’ll be reserving it for when our wetness is more under control. This one, with the print doesn’t even look wet when wet.

Also... portofino shirts are all sheer to varying degrees. Some you could get away with wearing alone, others not so much. And it’s hard to tell which is which when shopping online. 

This one with the print is pretty ok alone. But I’m wearing it with this nursing tank from Target - because it’s super comfy and easy. It’s not the most flattering on the chest -- as I find for most nursing tanks on my very large chest. (I’m wearing a Medium. The Large fits better over my boobs, but then the band on my ribs is too loose. My constant issue when breast-feeding.) But it fits (good enough) and feels good -- so it work great under less fitted tops like this portofino.

I like this outfit because I actually feel really, really pulled together. Like I’m in ‘get stuff done office wear.’ I’m really motivated in this one -- because it makes me feel on top of things. Yet it’s very comfy. (Often comfy feels the opposite of ‘get things done’ -- more like cozy up and sit. Not this one.) And it’s works great for taking care of babies. It also didn’t hurt that I got numerous compliments from the hubby this morning either. :) 

Placenta Encapsulation

I’ve had a couple people ask me about placenta encapsulation since I mentioned I had mine done. (I’ve also had a couple people imply I’m crazy -- but honestly it doesn’t hurt my feelings or make me think poorly of them -- I know it’s a strange thing to do.) So I figured I’d blog the little I know about it in case more people are curious but don’t want to ask.

I, personally, chose to do it this time for a few reasons.
One, because I’d heard of it a while ago and have had enough time to get over the gross factor and get really, really curious about it. (I almost did it after baby number two, but just couldn’t quite make the leap yet.)
Two, a good friend of mine did it first. She made me brave.
Three, I felt so horrendous during my pregnancy I was ready to do anything to regain health.
Four, it was really easy for me, as my midwife took it from me and brought it back to me as pills in two days. I felt like it would be silly to skip it at this point. (Part of what held me back after baby number two was the fact that I didn’t know an encapsulation source ahead of time. And I was not ready to attempt doing it myself.)

I didn’t know a whole lot about it when I did it. I just kinda did a blind faith move because it seemed like it made sense to me. ha. (I’m a total hippie, right? All these crazy things I never thought I’d do, all make perfect sense to me for no good reason.)

But here is a good site that will explain some of the benefits there are based on scientific research. I’d really recommend you take a peak at that -- it’s very informative. And that sight has a helpful Q&A page as well. And some testimonials.

For me I definitely saw it’s benefits in:

Increased milk production. I actually had to reduce how much I was taking due to how significantly it increased my milk production. There was a direct correlation between when I took the pills to how full my breasts became. So I know that it was working on that front.
(I have extras I haven’t taken, so if I ever have a dip in production, or my baby goes through a growth spurt where I feel I’m not keeping up, I know I can just pop a pill or two and see an increase.)

The other effects are a bit more subjective and hard to be certain, but I feel I can attribute them to the pills.

Postpartum blood loss. That was much different for me this time around than my other two times. This could be attributed to other factors as well. My first was a c-section. My second, I passed a lot of blood at birth. But during my third pregnancy I took iron supplements, which I had never done before. And my third delivery was my easiest and least physically traumatic. So that could all weigh into things.
But after my first two deliveries I bled (had “lochia” -- the medical word for ir) for eight weeks. That’s extra long, but I was deemed fine by my health care providers. (I have 42 week pregnancies, it seems my body just likes to drag things out. #blessed …haha.) My loss wasn’t heavy as in scary for my health, but it was a decent amount through most of those weeks.
After my third, while taking my encapsulated placenta pills, my lochia was much, much lighter than I was used to. And by five or six weeks it was verging on gone, although I wore light day pads for seven weeks because I would have occasional spotting.
So compared to my previous experiences that aspect was much improved and felt a lot less cumbersome.

The Emotional Aspect. Ok, I will not be a standard take on this point. This pregnancy (much different than my first two)  felt physically horrendous to me (42 weeks of unceasing nausea and more aches and pains than I’d ever felt.) So I was going into my birth and postpartum period with a very dark and depressed mindset. So it’s hard to compare this part to my other two experiences. But I do think my encapsulated placenta pills aided on this front.
After this birth I still had a dark and depressed mindset. But I knew I would. I don’t see how that would have instantly lifted, especially since it took about a week for my nausea to clear up and my aches and pains remained for a bit longer. It was hard not to question, during that remaining nausea, if I would return to health, and that was emotionally straining.
But that said, while taking my encapsulated placenta pills I did not have the stereotypical postpartum emotions that I had the first two times. I clearly remember after having my first two experiencing an overwhelming sensation of being alone and feeling skittish and paranoid. After those births I could rationally tell myself those emotions were hormonally derived, but I couldn’t shake them. I didn’t have those emotions this time while taking my placenta pills. I really don’t feel that I had "baby blues", as I had previously with my other two. The emotions I experienced after this birth did not feel hormonally derived, they just felt like the consequence of me emotionally processing a extremely trying pregnancy. Those emotions did feel stronger on the days where my hormones shifted as my milk came in, but I didn’t get the additional emotions of aloneness, or panic, or the emotional-trembling sort of sensations I had with my first two.
I will say I’m very glad to not have added that extra “baby blues” stress onto the level of emotions I was already dealing with. I do think the placenta was a true help to me and a very good idea.
But like I said, this experience is hard to share in any sort of scientific measurement, it’s just me feeling things about my experience.

Pain Reduction. Once again, I don’t feel standard on this one. I went into this situation in pain and my pregnancy pains stuck around a while postpartum. And then you add in delivery pain. But once again, I feel like I experienced my post delivery pains in a less dramatic way than I had with at least my second birth (which was a VBAC, I can’t really compare a c-section to this.) It’s not entirely fair to compare the the VBACs either as I had an epsiotomy with my first VBAC and I had natural small tears with my second VBAC. But I do feel the placenta aided with pain reduction on the pain I had this time.

Energy Level.  After this delivery my midwife really pressed me to stay in bed and recover. (This is advice to all moms, not just me.) And I obeyed this time because I wanted to rest after that pregnancy. So I’m not gonna tell you I was up and running around or anything. But I do know I felt different than after my second VBAC. I remember after that one feeling winded from walking across the room. But this time I had no sensations like that. I was definetly feeling worn out, but once again 42 weeks of being sick wears you out. I think the placenta helped me not get even more worn out postpartum.

Baby Bonding. This is one of those things that can be affected by tons and tons of things. And I don’t want to write you a novel here covering all those things for each pregnancy of mine. But I was worried I wouldn’t bond well with this baby after that pregnancy. And, like I said, lots of things play into this, but I bonded very, very intensely this time, very quickly. I certainly don’t think the placenta pills hurt, they may have helped this along, but  I can’t truly say on this point.


So….
I’m not your best source of information on this. Nor am I a normal testimony on the use.
I’d suggest you look around for more input on the matter.
But personally, I’m saying I’m glad I did this.
IF (really really big IF) I ever have another pregnancy I would definitely do the encapsulation again.

I actually really wish I had done this after my prior pregnancies. Especially after my c-section, as it took me 10 days to get any milk in afterwards. I think this might have really helped me in that case. Actually it kind of makes me sad that there was something so simple, natural, and so easily accessible to me, and I miss out on it because I didn’t know about it.
And after my second, I think it would have been great to get all the iron back in me after the extra blood loss. I think it would have helped with the afterpains I had that time (those ones were far worse than I had be prepared for.)  And perhaps it would have helped me to bond faster with my baby that time.


I don’t have any concrete place to point you to on this, but I have heard of women saving some of their pills (in the freezer) for menopause. It is supposed to help regulate hormones then, to help with hot flashes, night sweats and emotional swings. (I still have quite a few I haven’t taken, so I may just save them for this!)
In the same way, you can use the pills any time you need to help regulate your hormones and get a boost. Perhaps for PMS. Or just rough days.



So maybe you are now wondering: How can you have yours encapsulated?

Well, it’s going to vary, how you get this worked out.

While you are pregnant look around for people who encapsulate. I’d start with googling. If you can’t find any that way, get in touch with someone “birthy” in your area. Either a doula, or midwife, or a “hippie” like me :) . They will probably know someone. I belong to a Facebook group dedicated to birth in my area. That group of ladies always can point to great birthy-type resources. You might find you have such an online group near to you.

If you can’t find someone who can encapsulate it for you. You could take the great leap and do it yourself. (I know it’s a LEAP. I wasn’t ready for it. But it’s possible.) If you want to do this, google is able to point your way.

No matter who encapsulates it, if you want to do this, you need to inform people ahead of time. 
     You should get in touch with the person who encapsulates ahead of time, and get all the details from them. (How much it costs. Do they pick up the placenta or will you need to drop it off? Any special things you should know.)

     You should tell your birth support person (husband/partner, doula, etc) so they can help ensure it happens.
     You should tell your provider ahead of time. If they don’t know, there is a chance they will treat the placenta in a way that will make it unfit for consumption. (This is why your support person should know, so that they can help remind your provider. They can be in charge of ensuring you pack it up and get it to where it needs to go)
     It’s particularly important if you have a c-section to make sure your provider knows this ahead of time as you won’t know when the placenta is delivered to say anything about it in the moment. It wouldn’t hurt to have your support person on the look out to remind them.
     You should tell your nurses as well, they can also help remind your provider of your wishes. And perhaps help you handle it.

If you are having a birth center, or hospital birth you should bring a cooler with you so you can keep your placenta on ice. If you are having a home birth, put in your refrigerator.



So there you have it. My not too knowledgable, but sort of knowledgable post on Placenta Encapsulation. Do with it what you will. (You won’t hurt my feelings if you never want to do it. :) )

Postpartum Outfit 1.1

In my imaginary life I have the time, dedication, and help to put together a really cool looking wardrobe capsule series. One that looks like un-fancy. (I know I could actually do that. But I also know I never will, right now. I don’t have the time or dedication or the photographer.)

      Since I’m prone to "all or nothing" I know I’d be prone blow this series off completely due to my lack of ability to totally knock this out of the park. But I don’t wanna do that. I think there’s a place in this world for these ideas. So I’m just gonna show up.      

     Here I am. Phone Selfie. Mom of three; 2.5 months postpartum. Haven’t worked out yet. My kids asking me to make them breakfast as I quickly shoot these photos.

I know every body is different, so my body won’t look exactly like any one else’s. Everyone bounces back from pregnancy at their own rate. And I’ve bounced back differently after each of my three pregnancies. It’s not a competition. I’m sharing this hoping to give helpful tips for dressing in the in-between stage. But what I share probably won’t work for everyone. We are all unique. 

If you see me in person in these outfits there is major potential for you to think “Hmm she looks bigger/ rounder in real life than in the pictures.” That’s because pictures are flat. I’m not sucking in, trying to over-pose or edit these photos into something better than real life. I just can’t be 3D on here. 

I’m gonna talk too much in this post because I’m not sure of how I’m going to break down this series or how often I will make time for it. So, for better or worse, I’m pretty sure I’m about to over-share right now in case I don’t share later.

I’m hoping to regularly share pics like this of things that are working for me and share why. And I hope to get time to create a post showing you all the pieces in my capsule wardrobe -- but the fact that I’m going to need to keep changing my wardrobe as my body shifts makes it hard to know just when and how to do it. (Plus you know, the whole mom-gig time constraints.)

(By the way, if we are just meeting. I’m a stay at home mom. So my wardrobe will reflect that.)

Anyway….today’s outfit.

I recently bought this skirt at Kolh’s on clearance (cheaper in store if you can find it, than online) because I had nothing to fit me for my grandpa’s wake and funeral. 

I was looking for things that would work for that occasion, but could also mix and match with my other usual stuff.

To the wake, I wore this skirt there with a silky (not silk) black shirt that has a v-slit neckline, I wore the shirt tucked in. I had to untuck it to nurse. Which isn’t ideal, but was ok for a short occasion. But the silkiness of the shirt did cause the skirt to slide down a lot -- so that also wasn’t ideal. (But I decided I could pretend it made me look skinny to keep pulling up my skirt all evening. lol. I know it didn’t. But you know, looking for the positives.)

For the funeral, I bought this nursing friendly dress at Kolh's in black. It’s very versatile and flattering. I’ll have to show you it on me later. 

Anyway, today I put the skirt on with a light chambray shirt (found in the men’s section on clearance last year at Mejier (sort of a Walmart-like grocery store, but better, around here) layered over a black tank. (I tried it without the tank first, but with the knotted waist, the shirt was sliding around showing more skin than I wanted to show.) 

My tank is one of those “wear you own bra slimming tanks” -- I found it for around $5 at TJMax while I was pregnant. (It’s this one.) Honestly it doesn’t slim much at all, but it does smooth and hold things still. This one is actually comfortable, so I figured I’d use it today.

I’m trying to be really transparent here in hopes of being helpful to others trying to figure out how to shop during this confusing stage. But I’m not going to share my weight(s) because I think it’d make me feel uncomfortable and and I also think it would make others feel that way as well. And I’d like this to stay as competition free as possible.

This shirt is a men’s medium. I do wear this shirt when at my normal weight -- but it’s more of the loose messy chic fit then.

This skirt is a large. When at my pre-pregnant weight I would have probably worn a medium or maybe small. I don’t know that this skirt will fit right once I lose the weight -- I think the waist will fall to my hips, and the stripes not be flattering there.

My tank top is a medium. No idea if I’d keep wearing it at my normal weigh.

For a research-based look at the difference I’m dealing with on my body, 

here’s a flash back to where I started out. At 10 weeks I was looking pretty much my normal self.

Ok this side by side is actually really exciting because it’s showing the effectiveness of this outfit. 

(I was pretty surprised to be happy instead of bummed seeing these next to each other.)

I’m carrying 25 more pounds on me right now -- it’s all over, but of course most obvious on the belly. 

But in these photos I just look a little wider on the whole. And my belly isn’t calling out for attention.

It’s a good outfit -- not an instant return to my figure.

I’d look a lot less similar to my old self in these photos if I put on that same black dress.

Why this outfit works postpartum:

Maxi skirts are so great. They are just as comfortable as pajamas, but look nice and put together. They also work so well for moms because when maneuvering with babies and kids, you don’t worry about flashing anyone too much.

Button down shirts are becoming a favorite of mine right now. Cotton ones are breathable (breast feeding burns calories all day, so you kinda feel like you are light-workout sweaty all day.) Buttons are nursing access. And leaving some unbuttoned creates a v-neck which is the most universally flattering neckline.

Ok here’s some body shape science for ya:

If you wanna look into how to flatter your body shape this sight has been my favorite.

I’m a short (5’ 2.5” often lying to say 5’ 3” ;) ) hourglass figure when at my normal weight. Right now I’m an inch too big in the waist to technically be an hour glass in proportion. So right now with my postpartum waist adding in rules for an apple body shape helps.

For hourglass figures, hiding your waist can visually add a lot of pounds. (Being short doesn’t help my case any.)

But right now I’m carrying baby weight on my belly, despite the sides of my waist still going in.

So if I obscure my waist with overly large tops trying to hide my pooch I just make myself look heavy.

To look my best, I have to find a way to get that waist indent to show, without drawing too much attention to the left over bump.

 So I’m trying to kind of combine all these “science” “rules” to create a new combo rule that seems to not be addressed anywhere I can find online. “Hourglass body shape during the postpartum stage.”

So here’s a break down of how I’m using these tricks for this outfit: 

The way the stripes land on this skirt does me a favor. The wide waist band with horizontal stripes, hitting on the smallest part of my waist, seems kind of counter intuitive, but it works because it draws attention to the small part of me. 

And the stripes V-ing down over the rest of my belly creates a elongating effect. (Elongating always equals slimming.)

 

Tying button downs at the small part of my waist works because it shows that my waist does go in (leaving this shirt loose does NOT show that) and the knot actually kinda of camouflages the leftover pooch. By adding fabric right over the pooch in a knot, it kind of makes it seem like it’s just the knot holding the fabric out, not my belly. It’s a pretty effect trick.

Also, rolling up long sleeves to 3/4 length not only helps with my over-heating temps-- it also helps to draw the eye to the waist indent.

So this outfit is working on a lot of levels.

Why it might not be the BEST:

Technically my body type should wear the prints on top because prints on the bottom can make me appear bottom heavy instead of evenly proportioned between should/chest and hips.  And this skirt’s stripes are not really doing my butt any favors. So perhaps this skirt would be better in plain black with the seams still in the same locations.

But sometimes you just say good enough. (Especially since I am usually only seen by 4 people all day long.)

Some 30 Year Old Clothing Wisdom I Wish I Had in My 20’s

*Internet Disclaimer: This is ME writing to ME. I cannot assume or guarantee this will apply to everyone, but I do think it may help someone other than me. But maybe it won’t and it’s just a letter to myself. That’s ok with me. I hope it’s ok with you.*

And if you’ve just found my blog, you should know I think too much and tend to make long blog posts from short subject matter. Buckle up ;)

I’ve made major mistakes over my adult life with clothes. Most of which boils down to just plain buying too many clothes.
I really wish I could go back in time and talk to my-younger-self to inform me of some better ideas.

My biggest downfall when shopping was that I would buy things thinking that owning them would make their usage necessary in my life. I would buy clothes for events and circumstances I would never encounter -- but the clothes were so cute, I told myself that surely if they lived in my closet, I would suddenly live a life that requires them. Never happened.

I also used shopping as retail therapy. If I was sad, shopping was a great distraction and high. If I was bored shopping filled the time. If I was happy, shopping was a fun way to celebrate. And if I had lost weight, oh how much more thrilling any of that was because now I was fitting clothes differently, and since more looked good on, more needed to come home!

I was good at finding deals. And I LOVE thrifting. But over time those deal and “steals" still add up. I wasted a lot of money.

And in doing so, I wound up with way too many clothes for the amount of time I have to wear them. Add in the fact I was shopping for lifestyles I didn’t live, tons of my clothes were essentially dress up clothes that I never wear out of the house, because I have no reason to.

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself a game changing concept.

I wish I could zap in from the future (which is now) and tell me in the past:

“Lydia, someday you will have babies.”

(I’m guessing you know where I’m going with this. But I may have a curve ball to throw in as well.)

(By the way, I’m writing to myself, who has been pregnant three times, and am a stay at home mom. So this is heavy on that body shifting info. And I don’t need career clothing. But even if you adopt children and your body shape doesn’t change, children will effect what you wear. And even if you never have any children, I think the take away point about shopping at the end would benefit anyone. I may be wrong. But I think it’s a good plan on the whole.)

“Lydia, someday you will have babies.”

“SO...Someday those clothes you are spending all this money are gonna wind up in a garbage bag headed to Good Will or Salvation Army.

Let me tell you all the reasons why you won’t be keeping your clothes from your younger years:

1)  80% (approximately) of them are not going to fit you after baby. Now, before you freak out, Lydia, a lot of the clothes won’t fit you because you eventually wind up losing more than your first pregnancy weight. However, you should know that pregnancy just totally changes all the nuances of your body. And once again, before you freak out, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just that the smallest change can really affect the way clothes fit. So maybe your waist is a bit different of a shape, but your thighs are smaller, and your chest is bigger. Nothing fits the same. Please just don’t bother getting attached to these sizes, they mean nothing. After (not immediately after -- months and hard work after) your first baby you can wear smaller sized jeans, but the ones you owned pre-baby still will be too tight in some places, and are really loose in others. It’s weird. But the point is -- just know and accept that this is coming. Don’t buy into that whole “back in my pre-pregnancy jeans, and faster than anyone else” mentality. Who cares. Just walk into pregnancy knowing you will be buying cute jeans again in your future, you don’t need to wear these jeans forever. (Normal non-moms don’t wear the same pants forever either.) The immediate post-pregnancy state is scary the first time around. But I promise, I like my body more than I ever did before having kids (and this current Lydia talking is sporting a postpartum belly after baby #3, who’s super cute and is 2 months old.)
So…..
any perfect fits -- including any tailoring you do to your clothes (either DIY, or by a professional) should not be seen as a long term investment. Just something for now. Those people giving fashion advice and recommending tailor fittings -- they are not taking this baby business into account, they are just talking current fit stuff.


2) You’ll find out you can’t just wear anything around a baby. Things you never considered before now come into play.

• Some fabrics are too fancy --- dry clean only= not worth it. 
• Some fabrics stain too easy -- white is hard to wear (especially once baby is eating solids - and making enormous messes.) And it’s not just white -- some fabrics take a beating better than others.
• Some fabrics show wetness more than others  -- at first you’ll just be wet with everything -- drool, spit-up, snot, pee, milk, sweat. If your fabric changes color drastically when wet you won’t want to wear it in public lest you get highly embarrassed (sometimes leaky boobs or diapers betray you.)
• Embellishments like sequins and beads, even just a small amount, can be a problem. I had a sweater with a cute embellished shoulder  -- I found out that you can’t burp a baby over that -- it will be uncomfortable to their belly, and your sequins will be coated in spit up. And what if baby ate one? (Yes, you will think things like that. And it will be a big deal once the baby is yours.)
• Sometimes other weird things apply. Like I had one shirt with a print that was so interesting to baby that she would pinch me (hard) all day trying to grab it. Every time I wore it. (And it was only that shirt.) I eventually admitted defeat and got rid of it.  

3) You are going to need outfits you can nurse in easily. If you’ve never nursed a baby, most your clothes will likely be either impossible to nurse in (lots of dresses land here) or just way too hard to nurse in. Also... back to the clothes not fitting you -- your boobs will be huge -- shirts that were ok before, are now way more revealing than you intended them to be.


4) Comfort. Ok, I know there is the stereotype of becoming a mom and succumbing to bad fashion in the name of comfort. And I know you personally want to avoid that like the plague. So this is me saying, you can, and you will, make it through motherhood without becoming “gross". But comfort actually does become much more important than it used to be to you. Initially when you’ve just had a baby your body hurts -- you have to wear comfortable things. But besides that small time frame, your entire lifestyle is different now. It makes sense to dress for that instead of fight it.

• You will be getting entirely less sleep and your postpartum body is tired and depleted from pregnancy. - when you are exhausted comfortable clothes are soothing, uncomfortable clothes are maddening. 
• You will be moving your body in ways you are not used to, pretty much all day and night -- comfortable clothes are clothes that don’t restrict or pinch you while you do that.
• Speaking of moving in new ways, carrying a baby (in hands or carseat) is easier done in flats. 
• Your hormones are a furnace of change, comfortable clothes breath because you will be sweaty for no other reason than being alive.
•  A postpartum body is not shaped in the shape that most clothes are designed for. Trying to wear normal clothes right now will just pinch and pull. It’s ok to give yourself the grace to wear things you wouldn’t have worn before without guilt. You can be confident this is only a phase. And you will need to get used to life being lived in phases now, babies and children are notorious for “phases.”

Anyway -- most your old clothes don’t feel that great under all these circumstances. Even if they look good, and can be nursed in, and are baby-friendly there is a good chance you won’t feel up to wearing them all day long because they aren’t comfortable enough.

Getting dressed is just a whole new ball game.

Basically…. 90-98% of what you (Lydia) buy in your early twenties will be completely obsolete by your mid twenties and beyond. Because even if it passes ALL the tests, you will find you are veering towards different styles now (less trendy, more subdued and versatile.)

So….
(And here’s my curve ball)
Here is what I desperately wish you would do, anytime you want to shop:

Place $20-40 in a jar, or a bank account and save it.
If you want to shop really bad, stick $100 in the jar.
Because guess what?
When you have your first babies, your husband is going to be in school and money is going to be tight. And maternity clothes are actually rather expensive.
And despite the idea that you’ve always held about pregnant women being gorgeous -- you won’t actually feel gorgeous while you are pregnant. (I know because I am you. And I’ve lived it.) So being limited on what you can buy during this time makes it a lot harder. (Spoiler Alert: Your bra size winds up being crazy and costing a fortune to buy off the rack. Sorta accidentally phunny there.)
So if you save your money now, putting it aside for maternity and postpartum clothes, you can give yourself the guilt free pleasure of feeling pretty while pregnant and freshly mothering. Or at least being able to afford clothes, anyway.

Then after you put your money in a jar. Go do something fun that isn’t shopping. Like master photography. Learn some new sewing techniques. Buy thrift store furniture, make it over and sell it. (That’s fun and makes some money.) Read some more books. (Art history -- interior design stuff -- that really floats your boat. And it will come in handy when you have your own house someday.) Learn to cook. (Spoiler alter -- you’re gonna wanna look into allergy free recipes.)
Something that invests into yourself, not takes from your wallet and fills empty space that doesn’t need to be filled. (Closet space.) Shopping will never make you a better person. Clothes don’t make your life something that it isn’t. (Yes dressing well can improve your mood, and dressing appropriately can help get you hired, but I’m not talking about that. You were taking the idea to an extreme, buying clothes for a extra dressy wedding you weren’t expecting to be invited to because no one you knew was even close to getting married, thinking if you owned that dress you’d magically have somewhere to wear it to.) But if instead of shopping you invest into yourself you can make your life better and something it isn’t yet.

If you want to invest in your wardrobe, here’s a better way to do it. Study fashion. Get some books (start with the Library) and read up on body shapes and how to flatter them. (FYI, even though I’ve told you your body changes after babies -- the general body shape you have still remains true (Lydia).  You are an hourglass body shape before and after baby. It’s just changed enough to mess with clothing sizes.) Study up on fashion trends over the decades. (Mainly because that’s interesting and fun.) Learn about designers. And just spend time looking at magazines and even just people-watching to try and pin point your actual style (not just stuff you think looks cute, because you think everything is cute in it’s own way. Which is fine, but you can’t own it all. And it doesn’t all look good on you.) I wish Pinterest and more of the internet was around for you in your younger days-- but you’ll have to wait on that one.
Don’t use this information to shop, but to learn. This information can save you from just impulse buying everything and anything, and help you buy things you will actually hang on to.

Remember when you want to impulse buy something (because it’s “just so cute” or “such a great deal”)  that you will very likely be giving it away in a garbage bag to Goodwill in the near (near-ish) future. You don’t actually like throwing money away, remember!

This goes for shoes, accessories, jewelry, and make up as well. These can be somewhat easier to transition into post-baby world. But they still have reasons they won’t work. Pregnancy can change your shoe size. (Somehow my feet were smaller after baby #1. And they seem to be slightly bigger after Baby #3.) And carrying around babies changes what you want to wear on your feet (I’m looking at you high heels or things you can’t chase toddlers in.) Accessories aren’t at the forefront of your busy mind anymore. Jewelry can really get in the way with grabby baby hands. And the time you spend applying makeup now is 5 mins on a good day. You aren’t gonna care about turquoise eye shadow anymore. It’s fast powder foundation, blush, eyeliner and mascara. And your hair goes up -- babies pull hair from day one.


So with all that in mind, please don’t try and figure out the “right” way to shop so you can use it as your future self --  Just take the money you would have spent on this stuff and save it.This is an entirely more helpful way to live. I promise this will benefit you more than you can foresee at the moment.”


So that’s what I, 30-somethings Lydia want to say to 20-somethings Lydia about clothes.
I wish I had shopped and spent less, saved and learned more.
And if I had know what a capsule wardrobe was back then -- implementing one would have been awesome!


Right now, post Baby #3:
I’m back on the capsule wardrobe wagon. (I hadn’t really left it, but it’s a different beast right now 2 months after baby.) So I hope to actually blog some more about that. I hope to show you what I’m wearing and why. (I had thought I would do that during my pregnancy -- but too sick -- it didn’t happen. I’m hoping to have more follow through this time.)

I’ve gone through and majorly cut down the amount of clothing I have, and it feels awesome. It makes my closet feel like a curated store instead of a messy confusing pile of things that don’t work.
I wish I could have started this concept of less is more, long ago.
And I wish I could have forseen what was the right way to spend money on clothes based on how my body’s future shifts would play into things.
So I might try and blog more tips on that stuff. But it may apply less to everyone, and more towards people who have my similar shape.

But the main point of this post, for anyone, is if you hope to be pregnant someday you’d be doing yourself a big favor by putting aside money, ahead of time, for that temporary wardrobe you will need. (You need a temporary wardrobe after baby is here too!) Or if you adopt, and don’t need maternity clothes -- you’ll have money to buy clothes to replace the ones that got covered in ketchup, finger paint and dirt. Mom wardrobes have to be more disposable.
     So if you want to be a mom, be realistic about what you are spending on clothes as a young adult. You really don’t need tons of stuff now, and saving instead of buying is going to be an investment in your future.

Even if you don’t wind up gong down the motherhood path, I don’t think you’d really miss the random clothes piling up that you don’t use. Or mind the pile of money you saved yourself. It’s not a bad game plan either way.

Two Mantel Makeovers And A Little Life

So my mind has been foggy since my grandpa died. I’ve been keeping up with my life in my house. But I’ve not been in touch with stuff outside it. It’s kinda a 'nose to the grindstone’ time for me -- just because if I were to look up and around I’d get overwhelmed.

I’ve had a lot of thoughts on things to blog. But haven’t gotten there.

Here’s a bit of what I’ve gotten done lately in photos.

Bronson is two months old this month (2.5 right now.)

School is still going well.

4. Is “M” for “Mom” :) That’s me. 

When I can, I’ve been painting these tables. They are taking longer than I’d like but oh well.

I’m using oil based paint this time. Oil based hardens throughly, where as latex never fully will. So on a coffee table thats gonna see tons of use, oil is the way to go. (If you wanna read up on that concept, this page is great.)

But the fumes mean I can’t paint in the house, around the kids. I’ve been going in the sunroom (it has doors closing it off) with my mask at night. That combined with needing many coats is what’s taking so long. I have one table done for now. But I’m really loving it.
And the oil based paint (I’m using a $7 can of Rustoleum semi-gloss white) feels SO good to the touch once dry -- it feels like a factory finish. I think I may be an oil based paint reformer for most my furniture pieces. It’s worth the hassle.

Also for the family room.

I had been on the hunt for the right fabric for pillows. Per my normal, I made it way too hard and thought too much. I was driving myself CRAZY. I wanted tons of patterns. But it wasn’t working and then I decided less is more -- as far as how many pillows I wanted, and therefore how many patterns I could use.
I found this flower print at Joann’s. And made one pillow cover.

And then I ordered another fabric to do three other pillows in. That’s in the mail right now.

But I’m in love with the power of piping. (When I made those ottoman covers, I was changed for life. Pro-piping foreva.)

I’ve been trying to find a physical and emotional balance on how messy I let the kids make the house.

Jasmine has become quite the pillow architect. And I always have a hard to impeding creative stuff. Because I love doing creative stuff. So I don’t want to squash that in my kids. BUT as an adult (you may have noticed) most my creative-ness focuses on making my house a pretty space. So right now my creativity is at odds with their creativity.

I’m trying to figure out the physical balance.

But emotionally it helped me to put this up on our chalkboard door in our family room (our messiest room.)

The photo below shows you how the kids like to decorate my mantle -- by hanging “decorations" on an hourly basis.

But I’m using the photo to remind you of the pictures I had up on the shelf. I got those in February. And I had gotten kind board of them. Plus I was so in love with what I put in the living room I wanted to find something similar.

So now my mantle looks like this. 

I found that medal medallion at Hobby Lobby. They have a black one and a cream one.

I was torn between the two. And actually started with the cream one. Thinking it’d just be nice blending in texture against my brick.

But for some reason my family hated the cream. 

Blake, Jasmine and Ruby all voiced obvious objection to it, but professed much love for the black one.

I’m still kinda 50/50 on them. But I do see that the cream one is sorta greeny-yellowy not the right tone for the brick.

The kids kept telling me it looked old and I needed to paint it.

But once I went and got the back one they were all “ I LOVE IT!"

I was worried it would be too dark and bold. But I don’t think it’s TOO dark or bold. It is both -- but I don’t think it’s bad.

And while I’m guessing there will be strong feelings from any one on if the light or dark is better. I figured if I was 50/50 but my family members were 100%, well then I’d just defer to them.

Plus I felt I could also be sure it wasn’t bad because Joanna Gains used this same thing here. If Joanna picked the black, I should be good.

Room Flashback fun:

But to change the subject,
Here’s my living room.
We finally got this one hung up. (Reminder this medallion is from Target.) And I got my greenery styled.

I actually found this mantle really vexing to style. I think it’s just that crazy hard scale of this fireplace to this room, and the mantel isn’t very deep at all. So midway through I was getting very defeated and worrying I’d never get it “right.” 

(I will say holding a squirmy baby while you style mantel -- which requires me stepping back across the room 700 times, makes the process harder.)

But I was finally victorious. 

And I REALLY REALLY like it. This room feels SO good to me.

Room Flashback fun:

So that’s where I’m at in our house.

Other than me doing MAJOR. And I really do mean MAJOR de-cluttering.

The book “Clutter Free with Kids” has set me free.
I’ve always felt like doing this, but always felt wrong in doing so.
I feel like I’ve finally been given permission to be myself on this subject matter.

It feels SO good.

Here’s the stuff that’s heading out our doors. (And I'm not done yet.)

Think of all the time I won’t be spending cleaning those things anymore. Woohoo.

That’s set me on a path to try to have a capsule wardrobe. Which is kinda crazy doing that postpartum, but on the other hand -- makes even MORE sense postpartum.

I’ve cleared out two garbage bags of my own clothes (which is kinda shocking because I already had been paring down clothes pre-pregnancy.) But every time, after I’ve had a baby I get a HUGE de-cluttering urge, and I squashed it the other two times. I was scared I would make throwing-away mistakes. But this time I’m using this urge’s power for good. I feel like I have enough experience under my belt to trust myself.  I was way more objective in what I was keeping from my clothes. If I didn’t like it before the pregnancy (and pregnancy weight) it got thrown out. Why save it? And if I did like it, but I never wore it (I’m looking at you -- shockingly adorable quality vintage blazer that I can’t really bend my arms in, so it’s never happening) then I just admitted I was not living the life that would ever let me wear it. And if I don’t like it at a normal weight (like it’s a postpartum only piece) and it doesn’t look good on me now either -- gone. It’s less confusing getting dressed when you don’t have to ignore stuff that you don’t like.

This whole clothing concept is making me what to do more posts on the subject. So I just might.

But that’s all for right now.