Sea Band V. PsiBands

**Ok, this post is just my own personal experience with these two products -- this is in no way claiming some sort of "clinical trial level" of accuracy on these products. What works for me, may not work for everyone. I just thought I would share what I’ve experienced in case it is helpful.**

I am currently 19 weeks pregnant with my third. And for some reason this pregnancy has been an entirely more nauseous experience than my first two. For my first two I had the general morning-sickness-queasiness, that wasn’t fun but never made me throw up, and it went away right around the second trimester. This pregnancy has been epically-queasy (like need to lay down to help with the pain, it’s hard to think straight, it’s very hard to pick the right foods to eat, kinda of queasy), with actual throwing up, and is still hanging around good and strong at 19 weeks. 

So that said….

I’ve tried both of these natural remedies as an attempt to function.

They both work on the premise that they apply pressure on the Nei Kuan acupressure point of each  wrist, and that is supposed to help with nausea. 

And in my opinion one product is clearly superior.

Let’s take a closer look.

Here is the inside of each bracelet. The grey knitted one on the left is the sea band. The black plastic one on the right is the PsiBand.

The Sea Band’s plastic stud is much more round and protruding. It is smooth and hard.
The PsiBand has a generally larger surface area of plastic that feels like its coated in something kinda rubbery. Then it has an indent where the pressure-pusher part goes. This part is adjustable, when you twist the white top part it comes out a tiny smidgen. (It never forms the same kind if mound as the sea band.)

The PsiBands biggest attraction is that it comes in different designs and looks more like a bracelet or watch band. And that’s actually what sold me on getting that kind first. (My Vanity won out.  However, this black version wasn’t really my first choice -- it was just what was available short notice.)
Well that and they are waterproof.

So I started wearing the PsiBands and I honestly never noticed any difference in my level of nausea. Very soon I found these bracelets frustrating. The holes made for bracelet tightness are made in such a spacing, that for my wrist they felt either too loose (so that no pressure was applied) or uncomfortably tight.

I would err on the side of tight to try and make the nausea go away. But I honestly can not wear these longer than an hour without my wrists hurting too much for me to bother keeping them on.
The indent starts to feel like it’s cutting into my skin and I just can’t stand it anymore.

After one hour of wear.

That pink-white ring on my wrist is actually raised up like braille. 

It’s not like the worst pain in the world or anything. But it does have a grate on your nerves, “yeah this is pretty horribly uncomfortable” kind of pain that I just don’t feel is worth it in any way.

But in contrast the sea band is elastic, so there is no need to try and figure out how tight it needs to be. You just slide it on the right spot and it feels like a perfect amount of pressure on my wrist. The plastic stud is nearly imperceptible. And I do actually get some nausea relief from this.

Now I’m not saying my nausea goes away. But the level of it is brought down a noticeable amount. It usually can take me from "can’t function" to "functioning just enough." 

And It doesn’t hurt me one bit.

I usually put them on first thing in the morning and take them off before bed -- just to give my skin a break. After a long day my wrist has creasing. And I do look forward to giving my skin a break. But not in a “oh my gosh, get these off of me!” kind of way. 

Personally it’s not been a big deal that I can’t wear them in the shower or bath.

After an entire waking- day’s worth of wear.

So for me the very clear winner is Sea Band!

They do come in a couple colors. So maybe black would be a bit more classy looking? It’s your call.

Personally I don’t mind that it looks like I’m wearing sweat bands all day if it helps me function.

And well, lucky for me, I’m pretty much always in long sleeves (for winter) right now -- so they usually aren’t even seen. But if I am still nauseous this summer I’ll be sporting these with pride. Vanity be dammed -- you get me into too much trouble anyway. 

So I’d recommend them to a friend. I wouldn’t be selling it as a cure-all. But a nice, sort of helps, don’t hurt, kinda thing.

Side Note: With this pregnancy, the actual biggest help I have had with nausea has been to take half a unisom at night. I wasn’t really thrilled to veer off the natural remedy path, but this pregnancy has been too difficult to forgo using some of the bigger guns. So all this acupressure bracelet talk, in my case, has been in conjunction with unisom use. The two things combined have seemed to get me through the days. If I skip one of these helpers (particularly the unisom) I usually feel awful, and it can result in a very tear-filled day. But these sea bands are actual aids in helping with what the unisom hasn’t been able to take away for me.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional of any sort. Always consult with your provider before taking medical advice.

18 Weeks Pregnant

Please press play:

Yep. 

This week I functioned.

After 17.5 weeks of being immobilized, I actually functioned.

(And your welcome for the awesome late 80’s/early 90’s dress sleeve action in that video.)

Now it may be slight over kill to play that song yet -- I still got queasy and tired this week, but much much less.

In fact, I felt so pumped to feel not queasy for a number of hours, and not so tired, that I painted my eating area of the kitchen.

You heard me rant about not knowing what to do with the space, and why I choose the color, but how I didn’t love it before. So I’ll skip it this time, and just show you pics.

(Sorry they are all iphone anymore -- too tired to try.)

It’s definitely not bad, but it didn’t feel right to me.

I bought bamboo blinds to replace the came-with-the-house-curtains.

And well, that kinda just spurred it all on.

See,

The window trim was three different colors. 

Outer trim was grey-white. Inner trim was peach.

And for some reason the upper left was left bare wood.

So before I hung up the new blinds I needed to fix that.

And….

 if I’m gonna paint trim I’d rather paint it messy and repaint the room than tape it all off and leave a color there I’m not feelin.

I think my mom thought I was nuts because it wasn’t that long ago that I painted these rooms.

But honestly it’s been a year since I painted the eating area, and if I don’t like it now I’m not gonna start liking it after a year.

(The cabinet under the window is temporary, until we add our breakfast bar.)

And I show our un-kept kitchen just so you can see the color once more. 

So yeah,
not bad.
 But just not feeling right to me.
The color seems kinda melancholy to me, and while I’m all for poetic somber reflection, I just wasn’t getting into this color.

But really,
 the walls were already a mess.

That time the girls helped Blake paint their bed rails,  they wound up getting pink paint on the walls.

And I had never repainted old grey-white trim, 

because I just couldn’t get those walls to stop being yellow fast enough.

 (No time for trim...Must kill yellow…before yellow kills me…)

(Photo from this post…geez I used to get TONS done back in the old non-pregnant days. Holy Cow. It makes me feel even more sluggish now!)

And you can still see a bit of yellow left down there, and my drippy mess from painting in haste.

So, all that said,
I felt like the room actually was in some real need for a makeover…. again.

And despite some of the other parts of my house needing it worse -- my pregnancy brain insisted this room go to the front of the line! It’s kinda the heart of the home. It felt like the right move.

So baby finally agreed to let me work it out! Yay! Thank you baby!

To be safe: 

I don’t know if this is over kill, but if it is, at least it kills the mommy guilt I’m so prone to.

It kinda hurts my nose, and leaves marks all over my face.

But I’m happy I’m doing something again! 

Woohoo!

‘

So I made it this far in a day. Ran out of paint. And

then got queasy and had to lay down. (After buying more paint.)

And I was definitely moving a lot slower than my old self.
It took me 3 days to do this. (Trim and walls.)
It used to take me two to do ceiling, trim and walls.
But whatever. It got done! That’s big.

So yeah, I went white.

Originally I was gonna do my favorite white Swiss Coffee in Satin.

And that’s what I thought I was doing,

but I had a can of unmarked white paint assumed it was Swiss Coffee and started.

When I got here, I remembered the Dogwood Blossom I used in Jasmine’s room (now Jasmine and Ruby’s room.)

I kinda panicked for a minute --
Feeling unsure of what I just did, and unable to imagine starting all over again.

So after a mild crabby pout sit, I decided to just keep going.

And I’m really glad I did.

(Once again, I wish I was more awesome and would have the energy use my nicer camera -- oh well, maybe some day I’ll look like a real blogger with better than iphone photos…whatever.)

I really like this color down here. It’s a warmer white and doesn’t feel cold at all, even with snow falling and the lights off.

Plus it leaves things wide open for me to paint my cabinets with Swiss Coffee later down the road.

So happy accident.

Hurray!

I only got the eating area done.

So eventually I’ll get to the cooking area to make the rooms feel united again.

And then hopefully soon Blake will build me the shelves/breakfast bar thing we’ve planed up.

I’ll hang my bamboo blinds and some pretty art. We’ll get a new stainless range hood. (The one that’s there is a really ugly shape, it’s curvy on the front…)

And the kitchen will feel like “ahhh.”

I’d like an “ahh” kitchen before baby comes.

Sounds like a nice place to avoid cooking/slap together survival food in. ;)

(And in the far off future, probably when baby is bigger, I’d like to paint these cabinets.)

As far as pregnancy goes, 

honestly, I’m feeling sorta like blogging less about it lately,

perhaps I’m already cocoon-ing.

So I’m gonna weigh that out inside a bit, and see what I think for future posts.

I just want to have the most enjoyable pregnancy I can come up with.

(Which isn’t as easy as I think it will be, before I am pregnant. Once pregnant it always get so much more emotionally trying than I am ready for.)

And if blogging about it messes with me, I want to stop.

I’m not sure yet if it does or not.
I think it’s just that it's been harder than expected this time and well, it might not be so fun writing about that.

Maybe I just do it less often?

We’ll see.

But for now I’ll give you a picture.

Spolier Alert for Week 19: I thought I might be feeling good enough to skip my unisom,
And….
 super really regretted that move due to major nausea all over again.
And perhaps a bit of emotional distress as well.
Hence my terribly forced smile while I posed for this.
(It was this fake smile, or really depressed looking me.)

And here Ruby makes me feel awesome by talking to her reflection saying:

“Mommy’s tummy is BBIIIGGG. I’m not big. I’m tiny.”

Such a sweet little thing she is. lol.

I’ll have to teach her better female bonding verbal skills over the years to come.

Anyway,

I’ll also tell you:

my last check up was good,

but my iron was on the lower end the ok zone so I need to up my iron intake.

Red meat, and the like, here I come. (I hope my tummy obliges me.)

Also,
On the Happy Side of pregnancy:

On Sunday I felt my first “Oh yeah, that was SO the baby" sensation. I’ve been feeling lots of stuff here and there --- but always the kinda of thing that if you wanted to you could blame on stomach digesting maybe. But sunday, I felt like baby tried to tickle my lower side with fingers. It was so cute.

And then Sunday night I was messing with my belly, feeling for my uterus height, and baby kicked me so hard I felt it with my hand! And it totally shocked me because I thought it was too soon for that. So I pulled my hand away and kinda yelled out of surprise. It was a big moment.

Side by Side:

First Day of Home School

We started home school today!

Hurray!

It is a REALLY good thing I ordered the stuff when I did, because all last week Jasmine was literally begging to do home school.

(I was busy painting and or getting ready to have school planned out. So I wanted to wait till Monday.)

I mean, the kid is excited to learn.

I figured we better take “the photo” even if we are homeschooling and starting at a weird time of year.

To be fair, Ruby gets one too. :) 
Even if I don’t plan on making her join us if she doesn’t want to.

Yep…we fully embraced the stero type -- homeschool and pajamas.

I mean I’m barely un-nauseous -- I think we can call it ok right?

Who am I kidding, this is one of the best perks of school at home, regardless of how I feel!

And actually-- my kids think pjs are clothes. When I tell them to get dressed they beg me to change them into other pjs. lol. We’re classy.

We’ve only done one day so far.

But they both did really well.

Ruby was surprisingly into it and cooperative, until she found out we were done with glue.

And then she cried and opted instead to watch Finding Nemo. 

:)

So Jasmine and I finished up on our own.

She was very meticulous.

We even had to count our color pieces she cut. She wanted to make sure everything was just so.  

Here are the girls' finished main products of the day.

We also reviewed the Alphabet, and sang some songs and read some stories.

It was just the perfect length of time for easing into it.

With this curriculum the first week (or two, depending on how you choose to do it) are really basic, and then slowly amp up. It seems just right for now. 

And Jasmine, ever my learner, by the afternoon was already asking to “do some more homeschool”, unfortunately for her, I was too tired by then. (It had been a big day.) So one lesson a day is good for this preggo momma.
But it’s probably for the best, she might wind up in college next week at the rate she wants to go!

17 Weeks Pregnant (And Some Home School?)

Honestly, I don’t even feel like writing a pregnancy post this week.
I’ve continued to be nauseous and tired, just like before.
So part of me doesn’t feel like talking about it. And part of me is just like, “You don’t want to hear about it.” And another part of me is almost used to it. Feeling gross is now my normal. So some days I get really down about that, because I so did not expect this long, of this much, gross-ness. But some days I’m able to just shrug it off, because “What’s new.”

I’m queasy pretty much all the time, and really bad at night.
And car rides make everything worse.

But I’d like to just throw in there, I am getting somewhat better at washing my hair again. (You don’t even want to know during those first few months.) So I figure I have to be doing a little better at least. And when I don’t wash my hair, I am getting better and better at “fake it till you make it.” I’m so set for new-baby-in-the-house-hair. I’m a pro at hiding filth at this point! (At least I think I am. Maybe I should take a poll from those who’ve seen me lately…)

I had at least two days this week where I was zero fun awful to be around. Sorry Mom and Blake. My hormones were insurmountable and I was super discouraged and unable to get over it. I’ve read somewhere that pregnancy is a lot like puberty/Jr. High because of how much everything is changing/raging hormones… I’d have to agree. I had a very clear moment where I could have sworn I was not a pregnant mom, but instead a 13 years old, hating life, and arguing about how bad an outfit looked on me with my mom. (“No I look horrible in this!” Cue the need to run away scream-crying, but try to resist by huffing and stomping away before tears show up.)
And in that moment I actually felt really bad for my Jr. High self -- so oblivious to hormones' strength! At least right now I know what’s going on. And I felt bad for my mom who has apparently mom-ed me through four Jr. High periods in my life. You need a medal, mom. I hope I’m growing slightly more tactful with each attempt at this -- but maybe not.

I did have a couple high points this week.

One: Some awesome (secret) person sent me a care package in the mail. If you are reading this, thank you very, very much. That was so nice of you! It was amazing. And the sea bands actually do help quite a bit. They don’t take away the nausea, but they do take a big edge off of it. Which is great! And they feel so much better than the Psi Bands, which actually really hurt to wear. So I’m pleased I can actually keep the Sea Bands on most the day. But I loved all the stuff you sent me. Thank you so much!

And Two: I had a really lovely day out with a friend on Saturday. And that very much helped clear my brain of all of it’s strain -- both pregnancy related and decorating related. I came home in a much better mood. And that night all my decorator’s block was suddenly gone and I all of a sudden knew exactly the right answers to all my “What do I do with this space!?” questions. Both sensations: not being super crabby, and knowing how to make my house work -- were amazing. So Thank you friend!



Baby:
I do feel baby move sometimes. But still not lots. I’m looking forward to lots.

AND,
I’m heavily leaning towards being surprised by the gender this time.

I know! I hear you gasping! I would to if I were you. This is NOT like me.
The last two pregnancies I couldn’t find out the gender fast enough. It was like “Why can’t this pregnancy test tell me!?!?!?! I NEED TO KNOW NOW!!”

And I thought that was just the way I was, that I just needed to find out.
But this time I’m feeling fairly sure I’d like to be surprised.
I reserve the right to change my mind.
But so far I keep feeling more and more sure I’d like to wait to know when I'm holding the baby in my arms.

It started as just a general sensation. And I’m pretty into trusting my gut for pregnancy stuff. I have a pretty deep belief that there is some intense maternal knowledge in our gut. So I didn’t try to change my mind on the idea, I just waited to see if the idea stayed or went. So far it’s staying and getting stronger.
I don’t think there’s a big reason for this. I just feel like it’s important to me for some reason -- it feels very peaceful to me, and I want to respect that, instead of over-riding it, even if doesn’t seem like something I’d do. (How many things have I now done in motherhood that I was never going to do?)

But like I said, I reserve the right to change my mind. If my gut changes, I’ll go with it.

 

Do you think I’ve caught up with myself yet?

This third pregnancy has been making me feel like a premature whale.

I seriously can’t believe how fast I got a bump and how big it got right off the bat!

I do feel like I waddle and have to hoist myself out of bed already…it’s crazy to me. And when I get up from sitting….man I feel like I’m 700 years old. I have to walk all my creaky kinks out of my bones in pain. This is SO not like last time --- I don’t remember like that anyway.

(I don’t think everyone’s third pregnancy is this rough -- I hope I’m not scaring anyone away from another baby! I think I just pulled a short straw this time around.)

In other family life news….

I went ahead and ordered some home school stuff.
(A while ago we decided we’d like to home school, based mainly on our food allergy issues. But I have since become more in love with the idea based on it’s other merits as well. And so far Jasmine is still very much in favor of it -- I like to check in with her, to make sure it’s what she wants, because I do know going to school is possible with food allergies. But she really likes the idea of home school.)

My plan had been leaning towards waiting. Jasmine is only 4. And I’ve been doing a lot of research and have really been enjoying the concept of “Charlotte Mason” style homeschool. Charlotte Mason (and those that use her methods) strongly feel that kids don’t need to start school until they are 6. (They are pro learning before that, just not formal school stuff so soon.) Which sounded great to me for lots of reasons. So I figured that’s what we would do. But suddenly Jasmine started seeming extremely interested in school. And my big moment came when she started asking, “Mom will you pretend to be the teacher and I’ll be the class” and she wanted me to teach her stuff. This has become a much requested game. So I figured it was time.

I’m not going to put pressure on the experience, because I really don’t think it’s something we need to be doing yet. But it seems like she will enjoy it. So after I ordered the stuff I’ve been telling her we will “play school” with it --  because if I ask her if she wants to “do school” she claims she’s not old enough. And I actually didn’t tell her she had to be any certain age to do school -- her saying that is just her getting nervous. She’s always been afraid to fail, and I really try to work on that with her -- trying to be ok with less than perfect, that just the effort is good. So I don’t want school to feel hard. That’s why we are calling it “play.” Because really for now that’s all I see it as anyway. She likes to learn, so it’s just good fun.

Our stuff will show up this week. But I’m not quite sure when I’ll start. I don’t want to start before I feel like I know the program well enough.
And I’m not sure how often we will do it. I’d like it to be routine. But I’m not sure we will do 5 days a week yet. I’m gonna see how Jasmine responds to it and go off of that. Plus I’m not really sure how Ruby is gonna respond to this stuff. She at times has to be JUST like Jasmine, but then at other times, she likes to be off doing her own thing. So I’m not sure if I’ll be including her in this or not yet.  And if I do, how that will work -- I’m nervous she will INSIST on having the same papers as Jasmine (but she’ll just scribble on them) so I don’t really want to have to photo copy everything or order the student book again just for that. I’m hoping she’s accept some other papers I offer her. Time will tell.

I looked at lots and lots of home school curriculum options over many, many months. There were a few that really got my attention and fought for my vote.  But ultimately I felt best about going with a program called My Father’s World.
I liked that it seemed to incorporate every kind of homeschool style I was attracted to, as well as components of other curriculums that felt good to me. It’s got a strong Charlotte Mason base to it. But it also incorporates classical learning, unit studies, and lots of hands on stuff. So I felt good going with that because so far I really don’t know for sure what Jasmine’s learning style is, and this feels like it will cover any style she might have. And so far she seems to like it all. We’ve been doing reading from Simply Charlotte Mason’s reading list -- and she loves that. (Even the chapter books.) She seems to enjoy worksheets we’ve done here and there. And hands on stuff is so her -- she loves crafts, coloring, painting, the works. So we will see when it comes down to it how we do with this curriculum.
 But I’m looking forward to it.
And I’ll just throw in this idea too: This program also looked appealing to me. There were a few different types of curriculum I came across that sounded like torture to me. I knew that trying to do something I couldn’t stand would be a disaster for all of us. So I had to pick something that sounded fun to me too. This looks fun in my book.

We went with the kindergarten program. It sounded good for where we are at. I’ve read that some moms feel it might not be hard enough for kindergarden (but then again other moms felt great about it for kindergarden, so take everything for where you’re kid is at) but that gave me the confidence to think we wouldn’t be doing something crazy starting it now at 4.

But if Jasmine isn’t really ready, I’m fine with putting it away for a while.

So I’ll have to update you in a while once it shows up and we get our feet wet.


And and because I like everything to be pretty, I’m very inspired by this homeschool space over at "The Handmade Home”. While I don’t see us really claiming a room as a super dedicated homeschool room, I’d like to make a couple pretty things for our walls by our kitchen table that we can use for homeschool, but also look like art -- kinda like the stuff she’s made in her space. I really like her dry erase board (the big striped thing on the shelves.)
So whenever I get back into gear and start back up on projects, I’d like to decorate our kitchen walls with some multifunctional things, as well as some just general art stuff too.
(Don’t get too excited for results….not sure when they will occur. But they live happily in my mind.)

16 Weeks Pregnant (with #3) And some house thoughts too

I don’t really know what to say about this last week.
I had two days where I got stuff done.
I’ve been itching to get back to working on the house SO BAD. But haven’t been up to much of anything. And that’s been starting to really get my down. I just miss being my normal self. I kinda feel like an invalid. And what’s crazy about it is, last pregnancy was NOTHING like this one. It’s hard not to feel bad about myself, as if I did something wrong to be so wimpy this time since I was so strong last time. (Strong meaning: ate like a health nut and worked out 5 days a week.) (Wimpy meaning: Eat whatever doesn’t sound horrible and puke-like, which isn’t health food. And workouts ruin my entire day by making me non-mobile and even more queasy.) (It’s hard to believe I am the same person.)

Anyway, that said, I did have two days this week where I was able to get some stuff done. One of the days I made my kitchen pretty. By doing dishes, clearing countertops, and adding a couple decorations so the room feels more “pinterest.”

Sorry, not the best pic, but it’s all I have right now.

And the other day I think I just did normal stuff like TONS of laundry and cleaning.
So those days were encouraging.
But then rest of the week I was kinda back to non-doing.

     I was thinking last night about how each of my pregnancies (and births, and mothering those different children) has made me into more of a whole person.

     My first pregnancy felt hard because I didn’t know how to be pregnant, and I didn’t know how to handle it all. You may have noticed my entrance into motherhood changed me quite a bit. And after I had my baby I felt like I did everything I ever said I wouldn’t.
     I had decided beforehand my baby would never sleep in bed with me. I felt very sure about it for lots of reasons. I think that lasted about a month. My baby started co-sleeping as soon as I admitted to myself I wasn’t able to handle how much not being in the same bed as taking away everyone’s sleep. As soon as I said it out loud to Blake (worried he would hate the idea) he was 100% “Yeah let’s do it.” I was still worried it would ruin our marriage. Turns out, it was so good for all of us. And I was actually able to sleep. Jasmine has always been (and still is at 4 years old) a person who needs to be by people all the time. (She begged for her and her sister to share a room this past year because she claimed she was too lonely at night and she wouldn’t sleep. And she was proving her case true till we moved them together.) So anyway, once baby Jasmine was in our bed she stayed asleep WAY longer once she was next to us, and I had a WAY easier time going back to sleep if I nursed her in bed. It was a win for us. And Blake LOVED being next to her.  (Take away co-sleeping judgmentalness.)
     I also had to give her baby formula, which I didn’t want to do. But had to for 2 different medical reasons within our first month together. (Take away breast feeding judgmentalness.)
     I also followed all sorts of good sleep advice correctly, and could not get my baby to sleep “right” for close to two years. And she had actually moved into her own bed by like 5 months or so, because she changed her mind from sleeping well in our bed to wanting to play all night. (Take away “I know how to make a baby sleep” judgmentalness.) (Also take away baby in own crib judgmentalness.)
    I was nothing like I thought I would be as a mom once I was actually a mom.
    Oh and did I tell you I was never going to have a c-section OR get thrush? I mean I just knew I wasn’t that person. (Yeah, both of those I checked off my list that year too.) (Take away a lot of general "I’m better than you”judgmentalness.)

     My second pregnancy taught me how to be tough, I learned to eat awesome before and during. I learned how to get fit and worked out like my life depended on it. (Because I thought it did.) I learned more about birth than normal non-birth working people ever care to. I learned to believe in a lot of different things I never even knew about. And my labor and delivery and first few months of motherhood went so well. (This all took away a lot of “I’m a totally failure” judgmentalness I had towards myself.) But I was honestly glad that wasn’t my first experience with motherhood because I would have been a butt-hole to anyone who had a harder time with birth and newborns and breastfeeding because everything went so great.
   Then at about 5 months my perfect sleeper stopped sleeping. Why? She learned to pull up in her bed. And after that she swore that standing was entirely more preferable than sleep and chose to forgo it.  No sleep advice worked. None. I read it all. Tired it all. For long enough that it should have worked. But Ruby, is sweet and fun and happy, but when she makes up her mind, she has a will of steel. (This could prove interesting as we age together.) So from the age of 5 months on I said goodbye to “perfect life” of good sleep and easy mothering. And said hello to “Zombie life” because if one kid wasn’t crying at night the other one was (usually due to the other one waking them up.) I kinda hated life for half a year. I was so tired I couldn’t think, I just felt -- and I felt angry. I didn’t want to feel that way, but when you literally don’t sleep you basically have no control over your brain anymore. I didn’t take it out on my family (I don’t think) I just sat there feeling crabby all day, until the kids were in bed and I could vaguely feel my mind for a little while. And I had no babysitters, and no friends, family a full day’s car ride away...and oh yeah we had just found out we had tons of food allergies and pet allergies which made everything harder.
   (All this took away judgmentalness for mom’s who didn’t revel in every moment of motherhood -- because I really did the first time through with one baby... despite all the challenges we had I just kinda floated in glitter of “wow life is so beautiful and I have a beautiful little life here in my hands." But the second time around I was just too tired to see anything lead alone glitter. I was just surviving. And hence I stopped judging mommas who had to do that.)
 
    After we moved, I was tired a lot because my second child also took 2 years to sleep through the night. (I never judge a momma who’s kid won’t sleep.. and well I secretly laugh when mommas claim they can control the world through sleep this or sleep that, because if the had enough kids, some day one of those kids would teach them their high horse can throw them whenever they want.)
     AND I really didn’t sleep because I was painting while she was asleep -- meaning I never slept. But at least now they were older and would let me rest during the day. AND I was getting to do what I enjoy -- house decorating, painting, planning… So I was starting to feel like myself. The older they got the more I was feeling like myself, because they were giving me more introvert time to get my brain in place. And I was getting more and more done on the house. I was really starting to get into a groove. (Not a rut, because we weren’t anywhere near done yet.) But I felt like it was time to say yes to another baby. We all wanted another baby. Everyone else had been ready for months and months (maybe years?) but I needed time to get to a better stage. I felt like it was time to say, “I’m not really ready, but oh well, who’s ever really ready?” (Take away judgmentalness towards mommas who waver on having kids.)

    And now this pregnancy is basically just incapacitating me. Which like I mentioned is hard for me to understand because I’ve been so capable for so long.

     Anyway…all these experiences have taught me how I am not my good intentions. I am just what I do with what actually happens to me. And I can’t really judge anyone. Because I’ve been thrown off pretty much every high horse I’ve ever bought.

     So in that way, I’m kinda grateful to this baby for kicking me off another horse I didn’t know I bought. I was pretty sure I’d be able to just conquer any pregnancy will a strong will and following good advice. But I know all the advice (don’t eat sugar, work out bla bla bla) and my body won’t agree with me. I used to think people just weren’t trying hard enough, if they said that. But this baby is teaching me not to judge again. And as un-fun as the experience is. I’m kinda glad I didn’t get to keep that high horse -- he was annoying anyway.
(If I get back in gear I will eat right and I will exercise -- but my heart won’t be a nut case over it.)

     I think that’s just what kids do, teach you repeatedly over and over (kinda like getting hit in the head) not to judge stuff, because you don’t actually know what you are talking about when you are doing that.

She’s taking the picture ;)

And that’s what I have to say this week.
I don’t feel great. But oh well.

Belly Comparisons:

 

 It’s cute to see Ruby acting just like Jasmine did (totally coincidentally) this week!

Baby #1

Blake and I started tossing out baby names this week, and I think that really helped me feel better emotionally. Before that I had been feeling super down. But talking names reminded me “Oh yeah I have a baby in there.” I forget sometimes and just think I’m super sick for no reason. But baby names were a nice reminder. (Whatever we pick is a surprise….so I can’t tell you what we talked about. ;) )

And in random other news…

Blake and I think we’ve finally landed on our “look” for the living room. As you saw in my last post my brain has been just hurting over what on earth to do with it. But I think we finally both fell in love with a look!
I’ll hold off on sharing the idea with you -- just in case we jinx it. I want to let us simmer on it a little longer first. But figuring that out (I think) brings me soo much emotional rest and joy. We both really like it, and really feel like it’s what the house would like too (I pretend houses are alive -- because they have personalities.) So that feels great.
(If it’s true, and IS the right look, it’s not a quick fix look. It might be a post baby kinda project to complete. But once I know that’s where we are headed, I can rest in the waiting because I know what we are waiting to do.)

I will share (With pictures!) one more house revelation I had this week though.

When we walked through the house, I pulled open this closet in the family room and laughed out loud.

I thought I’d be finding a normal closet behind the door...but instead I found this:

A flat weird space with shelves.

I’m guessing it’s where they used to store VHS tapes? But I really don’t know. It’s a very crazy space.

Initially I thought the only thing I could do with it is pull the shelves out (paint it) and hang up brooms and mops inside. I just couldn’t think of a single useful thing to do with the space other than that. 

But suddenly this week (after a whole year of thinking any minute now we’d hang up some mops) I had a light bulb just go off. 

An itsy-bitsy mudroom!

 It’d be great because our stuff ends up over our kitchen chairs all the time, and this spot is right next to our garage door where we come in most the time. It’d be way more useful than a mop closet.

And pinterest to the rescue... yep -- it could look good -- great even! 

Via

Ours probably won’t be the spitting image of this, but the general idea is perfect.

It does run the risk of getting cluttered. But I think it will be really nice. I’m thinking it will mostly be for Blake’s coat (since he’s the one who leaves the house regularly.) It’d be nice for guests at times. And we’ll keep most our stuff in the real coat closet. (Which also needs a makeover eventually.)

Anyway. I was so pumped to think of something useful to do to this goofy spot.

Stuff WE DID GET DONE this week:

Finally got the girls pink beds done. Remember way back when the grass was alive, green, and not underneath snow, when I painted one of them pink outside?

Well, we wanted the beds to have side rails so the girls didn’t roll off. Me being pregnant (and sick) and Blake being busy making up for me not moving (like doing all the dishes, and cooking, and grocery shopping for me -- I know, isn’t he awesome?) while working, didn’t give us a lot of time to make those rails. So it took us till now.

But Blake built them and then he let the girls help him paint them. :)

I don’t want to talk about how fun it was washing pink paint out of the hair of girls who HATE washing their hair! 

But they are so happy with their new beds!

 They are making hearts on their heads.

Some day when we move Jasmine’s old toddler bed out of the room and I get the space clean, I’ll take better pics of the room for a before and after kinda thing. (I hope anyway.)

And a couple other cute pics just because…

Jasmine HAS to wave goodbye to anyone who is leaving our house. Especially Daddy on his way to work.

The other day she lined up all her friends to say goodbye too. 

So cute.

And this week we started playing Candy Land -- she is IN LOVE with that!

:)