So this week,
I've had a lot of contractions,
I've had lot of (TMI) bloody show.
I've had tons of promise...
But no baby yet.
My thoughts have battled endless words of discouragement.
ENDLESS.
LIKE
Someone-shoot-me-in-the-head
-ENDLESS.
Lucky for me,
I have an outstanding husband
who prayed me through it.
I literally don't know what I would have done without him there.
And so now,
in my moments left
in 'the waiting place',
I want to rebuttal
the words
that have been echoing in my head.
Please note:
I'm not talking to any person,
I am talking to the fears and powers I've battled.
(Also, please note, while most these pictures are of me, a few are generic.
Most notably, the taped up scar -- I wish my belly looked like that so soon! ;) )
*Edited in 11/16/12:
Maybe you could make your own set of photos for yourself, when facing your delivery -- no matter your circumstances. (Even a scheduled c-section could benefit from this preemptive healing process.) Just address whatever comes up in your thoughts.
These really helped me during my labor -- I envisioned them when I needed a boost.
If you don't use photoshop, just print out photos and use a sharpie!!
Lydia,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to read this post; THIS post is the TRUTH! You can do it and even WHEN things don't go how you plan, you can know they are going the way GOD planned. You are putting your hope in Him and there is no better plan than his! I love you guys, I am PRAYING for you guys, and I can't wait to meet the little "firecracker" you've been carrying for the last nine months so carefully!
Love,
Alicia
I read your latest blog and this particular one was a link at the bottom of the page. I will admit as frequently as I try to read these I did slack off a little towards finals. So I'm honestly going to tell you now I am very sorry I had to read this post. I'm sorry to you, my great friend, that you had to go through this and get such a negative wave from people about c-sections. I am thoroughly disgusted that someone would tell you that you took "the easy way out". To me, those people live too high on their pedestal to appreciate the life God himself has given us. They will never truly live happy as humans were meant to. What about the moms who have miscarriages? What about the mothers who have to carry those babies full term?! They aren't broken. They had to deal with an extraordinary loss. Which in the end makes them strong, it just wasn't their time.
ReplyDeleteYou have two, healthy, wonderful, bright-eyed little girls and every day is a blessing for you and every mother who can wake up and see their smiles. God told you it was time and there you have it. I seriously hope these days you are surrounding yourself with loving people who aren't that insane anymore to have the pants to say these things to your face or about you.
p.s. I restricted a lot of nasty nasty words in this conversation. Such a topic seriously stirs me up.
Oh Becky, thank you for loving with such passion! None of this stuff came from any particular person. It was all the thoughts that I battled in my mind as I waited to see what would happen. My thoughts were on fire with fear and accusations. And so I made these pictures to help me battle myself.
DeleteHmm...Well then, I'm sorry you had to go through such a battle. I'm also glad and relieved you had Blake and your wonderful family by your side through it all. I've known many ladies around me who have stressed over such things and other things that I can only imagine is the norm for any mother. I do know that I can never fully process these feelings because I myself am not a mother but what I do know is this: the mothers I know are the strongest people I can possibly know.
ReplyDelete